BE what you BElieve!

BE what you BElieve!

Monday, September 15, 2014

you ARE powerful

do y'all know how powerful and strong you are? because honestly I went thru most of my adult life clueless. I felt powerful as a child until life robbed me of the belief (not the power I still had that!) and made me afraid. it took hitting bottom and letting go of that self hatred the world loves to ladel on to begin to get back to that person full of promise, hope, and wonder. so make sure you know and understand how strong you really are, that you're NEVER alone (because I'm here for y'all ALWAYS!) and that truth is what you make it. no one can live your life for you and they damn well shouldn't be telling you anything other than I love you and you can do anything! (if someones saying anything else cut them out like a gangrenous limb, harsh but necessary for YOU!)











or your dreams! and never let your past be better than your future!









 I've had to let some people simply fade out, oh they've been trying to leave for years but I clung on for dear life because of fear and the need to be loved. bein an orphan I don't let people in and when I do I don't let go easily even long after the relationship has died. and it tends to be broken folks who were NEVER actually uplifting to me. the more you ignore/mistreat me the harder I tend to try (past tense!) BIG sigh.

now I put me first, not selfishly but with self-love, and lets be honest un til you love yourself unconditionally and fully you cant truly love another. this made me get fat because food was always there it never let me down (it held me down!) even as it was killing me, my self loathing turned my temple (the body) into a garbage bin that no one would want physically, because I didn't feel worthy of being loved and then when someone did show interest it was like " what's wrong with them , I'm disgusting they must be a damaged/warped/freak" so fat was my security blanket and my prison. being seen is scary but by golly I no longer care I was not made to be a wallflower I was made to be the center of my universe and being happy makes you attractive so you're gonna get noticed, and I have accepted even embraced that...............

definitely was the most colorful/noticeable person at the festival and I LOVED it! lol
I;m feelin very strong right now and in a good space , I just want everyone to be there with me!
food wise I'm a little wonky today but I'm ok with that it happens!
bbq corn chips
baby ruth
ham sandwich with cheese/mayo
tater tots (5)
totinos sausage pizza (sm)
pepperoni
oatmeal cookies  ( 10, yep the whole damn pack) the medium sized ones
steak biscuit
and the result of all those crabs was exhaustion I fell asleep watching tv, sitting at the computer, and was struggling to stay awake till I finished my "chores" lolol
 now lets do some eye candy cause it's fat/sugar/guilt free and todays is oh so yummy! the delectable Adrian Paul, and lemme tell y'all I met him and he's even more beautiful in person!!!















this last one is from his short lived series alien trakker, it was a strip tease and my oh my it made me swoon!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHLMV268oU0
of course I shared the link, I'm not a tease! ~giggle~


I got this wonderful quote from Kelly Ann Maddox over at  the Four Queens, be sure to check out her blog. it's quite lovely and inspiring http://thefourqueens.blogspot.com/2014/09/self-love-september-inspiring-quote-1.html






































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