BE what you BElieve!

BE what you BElieve!

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

rain rain GO AWAY!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, ok sick of the cold, it's supposed to be spring not back in the low 40s and raining all blasted night! and of course I have multiple errands and two readings today so mayhaps I need a parka and a row boat!
other than that a pretty good week so far , at the beginning of the year I joined a pay it forward 2014 post where the 1st 5 to comment were supposed to be given something nice during 2014 randomly, then you post it on your page and pay it forward for the 1st 5 to comment for you and so on. well I found the most adorable lil glass piggy at pier one imports her name is PENELOPE , she's a lil clear glass pig with pink glass wings, it comes in a sturdy lil cardboard box with a silk lining and a card that says............
Penelope the piggy
with her head-strong determination and good fortune, Penelope is the perfect depiction of overcoming impossible odds! her personal wager against anyone using the phrase "when pigs fly!"has brought much abundance and prosperity indeed!



I thought it was the perfect lil bit of inspiration and when I did a reading mon and got tipped an extra $20 I decided to use it to pay it forward. I actually have 6 people on my list because 6 responded the 1st day and I simply couldn't leave someone out! so for $18 I got a whole lotta cute for some wonderful people. I hope they like theirs as well as I do mine! the funny to me part is it cost me $18.74 to mail them, and the us post office wonders why they're goin broke, because no one can afford y'all! it cost me $8 to mail a book I was gifting a friend with so apparently they don't even do book rates anymore? lolol I don't begrudge the money one lil bit but I thought it was ironic!
I'm actually in a giving mood right now another friend asked me about some stones for a medicine bag well we didn't have but 2 at BBC so I went online and ordered all of them plus a leather bag from
Emily's gems which is a GREAT site with tons of stones I use all the time............
http://www.crystal-cure.com/index.html 
I also (much to their delight) refilled the kids easter baskets with candy this morning since we had some marked down stuff at work. it was a great deal and they don't have weight issues at all since they don't snack that much.
and I cant remember if I shared the link but now if you miss the tarot talk on ITV Mondays at 7pm eastern you can catch up on youtube, here's the link to this weeks episode
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYtjJ6LA0PE
in other exciting news I have started the creation process for my very own deck of cards! VERY excited to see where this takes me.
as for food it was so/so but not oh no! lolol
5 chcken tenders
4 potato wedges (small)
cheesy garlic bread chips
sausage biscuit
steak biscuit
that's all...........
I got 6,324 steps because it was raining miserably.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

FMM on a tues

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Happy Monday – the last one of April, 2013 is flying by.
I recently did a quiz on Facebook about life skills, and it turned into a really interesting conversation, so wanted to try the questions out with you guys. Let’s see what we can do between us.
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
Life Skills
1. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
my first instinct is to say no as I have never operated a stick shift car but theoretically I probably could I grew up on a farm and the tractor had a clutch and I drove it quite well, so i'll say mayhaps but it might be rough going at first! lolol
2. Do you know how to jump stat a car?
yes
3. Do you know how to perform CPR?
yes I was certified in highschool but I don't think they even train that way anymore considering that was 1984
4. Do you know how to hang a picture?
I have hung them in a multitude of ways and that includes attaching the apparatus to the frame and anchoring it to the wall
5. Do you know how to ski?
good lord NO! why would anyone want to fly downhill on two sticks completely out of control, I have NEVER understood the fascination. of course I am southern and we don't get snow, I can water ski however
6. Can you draw a basic map of the world?
absolutely 100% NO! lol
7. Can you do a decent dive into a swimming pool?
I can do an ok dive from the low board no amount of money could make me dive from the highboard! lol I will however jump from it!
8. Can you open a champagne bottle?
yes though as I do NOT drink there hasn't been a need in 20 or so years. since a rather fun new years party where we had toasts at midnight (I drank cider)
9. Do you know what to do if you spill red wine on the carpet?
according to the infomercials I use oxyclean and it gets it all up, or is that a dyson steamer? lol
10. Do you know the proper way to fold a fitted sheet?
well I know how I fold them but it's far from proper! so NO!
Now it is your turn to go answer them on your blog and don’t forget to come back here and link up in the comments and go and share the FMM love with other readers.
Have a great day
Sarah xxx

Monday, April 28, 2014

A GOOD NIGHT!

well all in all it was a GOOD night, none of my fears came to pass. I handled an awkward situation with care and grace and turned in into a positive experience for all despite a lack of cooperation! lololol
 I consumed....
wheat crackers
garlic hummus
fried chicken breast
biscuit
reese egg
carrots
I only got 1106 steps today and I'm happy with that it was my "rest" day!
I caught up on all my dvr shows and life is getting good!

Sunday, April 27, 2014

well lemme say i am exhausted

well lemme say I am exhausted and I LOVE it! lol
I worked from 10pm til 5am Friday night came home took a  2 hour nap had to pre-record an ITV show at 11am sat, then too an hour nap, had readings at 3pm and 4pm, came home took a 3 hour nap then went back to work at 10pm til 6am this morning. I'm off today but I have my tarot group at 7pm and I'm kinda leery about that. see one of the ladies who is kinda strange at last group was bein totally cold to me and glaring at me the whole night. I hadn't really noticed it but the rest of the group came to me and asked me what was going on and I had no clue but I decided to be the bigger person so I sent her a message and asked if there was a problem and had I offended her in some way and if so what could we do to fix it since we're gonna have to see each other and work together if we're in the same group. but she decided instead of taking that opportunity to clear it up and be adults to send me a nastygram talking about how selfcentered and disrespectful I was to everyone of course she could cite no actual thing I had done in her broad statement. I was i'll admit taken aback and livid. I pride myself on being polite and friendly/respectful ( oh if you're mean or hateful i'll reply in kind but I never purposely hurt anyones feelings)  it struck me as funny because she's one of those who makes a big production of how spiritual she is but is in her 40s and still blames her mother not loving her for EVERYTHING bad in her life. just because you say it softly doesn't make you enlightened!!! I really have no time for people like that so I blocked her. this was several months ago and for various reasons we haven't had group in a while so tonight will be my first time seeing her, SPIRIT PLEASE GRANT MT THE STRENGTH NOT TO DESTROY HER (metaphorically!) lolol
we all take turns in leading group and picking  a card to study, tonight is her turn and she choose temperance which is all about balance and right action in all situations that arise within your life, great googly moogly please let me bite my tongue and not point out the irony in her choice when taken with her actions!
I don't really mind if she thinks I'm shallow , self centered, or rude and lord knows when you rile me or back me in a corner I can be a terror, what shocked me and upset me was instead of coming to me as a friend and handling whatever was bothering her as an adult she made it childish and overly dramatic, this is simply not the way an evolved person fixes issues. so tonight I shall be shielded in white light but with the added imagery of barbed wire overgrown with brambles surrounding me, it never fails to keep unwanted people/things at bay and I have the added protection of my tiger totem who doesn't take shit off anyone and worries not about the opinions of sheep! it's gonna be interesting and hopefully anticlimactic as she probably will try to ignore the whole thing as I believe she's a coward and for some reason I threaten her in her small mind. wow I hadn't ment to blog about that at all! guess I needed to get it out and be done with it! lolol
ok back to the REAL blog yesterday I ate
reesse egg (1)
chicken breast
chicken tenders (5)
shrimp
biscuit (1)
sausage  patties (2)
I got 10047 steps

Saturday, April 26, 2014

busy but good!

havin a busy but good couple of days, I like bein busy it keeps me motivated and on point . boredom is the enemy of any plan I'm on because bein bored will bring on a binge. so no lazy days for me! so far I'm doin pretty gosh darn great with my eating
beef jerky
sausage
steak
deviled eggs (leftover easter eggs)
peanuts
Caesar salad
bologna
I got 17,311 steps cause it was busy at work and I had a trainee. she's doin great and that I'm glad of, my doldrums are gone and I'm feeling happy and energized again. I suppose it took a few days for the cold medicine to leave me body.
now if I could just convince all the teenagers in the house t's easier to do something when asked than to wait and have to get yelled at for it. right now Sabrina is in the kitchen loading the dishwasher (6am) on spring break because it was her turn last night and when I said at 9:30pm as I was leaving make sure you do the dishes I don't want to see any when I get home (I did them myself 2 nights ago) or I'm gonna wake you up and make you do them..............her reply "yeah right" I guess she figured out I was serious NOW! LMAO
they literally have to do the kitchen take out garbage and vaccum/mop and clean once a week and that's it and they think they're so mistreated. I grew up on a cattle farm the cows didn't care how sick or tired you were they still had to eat! I also did my own laundry by the time I was 10, washed dished, worked in the garden, mowed grass, mended fences etc etc etc AND had a part time job while going to school all without a phone, internet, or cable and imagine the shock I survived! but that's ok mean uncle tim is also cool uncle tim as soon as  bring em something or take em somewhere.
y'all have yourselves a great weekend now ya hear!

Friday, April 25, 2014

blogging, buddies, and bs

I want to talk about doubts specifically self doubt it  harms many of us (if not all)
I know I've struggled with it for most of my life I even named mine ( shit head and he's a scale) because that seems to be my big struggle . I know mentally I can do it, hell I HAVE done it I weighed 300+ and now I'm 209, that's recent but I've been around 220 for a decade so I lost and kept off 80 pounds...........then stopped 40 pounds from my goal and just did nothing. not a pattern I want to repeat and it's a multitude of reasons , fear of success cause what if my life isn't perfect because I'm fat but because I'm just a loser in general? (STUPID!!!) I have tons of reasons it never happened and believe you me reasons are merely bows wrapped up in a ribbon cause they look/sound nicer than I'm too lazy and have no willpower. yep I've sold em to the world and myself enough times that I should be the spokesmodel for fleet enemas cause we all know how full of shit we can be when deluding ourselves! 
I was reading my friend mary frans blog and it got me fired up because she gets down on herself sometimes and she's such a strong warrior goddess of a woman I just wanna give her a BIG hug then shake her till her teeth rattle! cause she can do ANYTHING she wants, and has proven it time and again (are you listening darling?) if you don't follow her already I highly recommend doing so!
http://mfclingan.blogspot.com/2014/04/shut-up.html so put all self doubt aside if it haunts you and start looking in the mirror (yes literally) and telling yourselves what wonderful beautiful strong spectacular human beings you are.............that means you too mary fran!

hope this didn't give y'all whiplash! ~giggle~
since I'm doin shout outs my other favorite blogger buddy is Lori, she's a doll and so super supportive. y'all need to be following her too! like NOW! lol
http://deepdarkweightloss.blogspot.com/2014/04/i-eat-what-i-want-when-i-want-in.html


I really have come full circle with this blog and I'm glad I started it for me and then it got popular and crashed and burned so I'm back to basics and just making myself happy at this point which is how it should be.
I haven't actually started any plan as of yet the 26th just didn't happen but my eatings been fine and I got 15382 steps today so YEAH ME!
I ate.............
bologna biscuits
Cadbury caramel egg (1)
beef jerky
Cheetos
reesee egg (1)
peanuts
that's it slept most of the day and too busy to eat at work so my appetite just kinda vanished, wish I could learn to do that trick at will! LMAO
there are so many blogs I follow and so many people that you become close to and they just disappear and I worry about them. my very 1st blog I followed hasn't been on for over a year and I still worry if she's ok. I try to cross reference if possible with facebook so I don't lose touch. I think some people simply stop out of shame because they didn't succeed as well as they hoped or they regained which feels even worse. so if anyone wants to add me you can send me a request on fb.
https://www.facebook.com/timothylmartin?ref=tn_tnmn


I love it when the UNIVERSE confirms my thoughts and todays crows magic card on my timothy's tarot facebook page did just that!~ so I had to share it on this blog as well.................
todays crow's magic card is the UNIVERSE: totality, wholeness.....
action on an incredible scale taking place, the success you have long been working and struggling for is at hand as many differing minds and ideas are converging as one at t...his moment in time and space.
do not let fear hold you back or make you irrational. let go of uncertainty and bewilderment and accept that the chaos shall pass quickly as long as you believe and remain open to success and achievement. do not doubt and do not hesitate, the pattern of stopping midstream and so close to success is one of fear and MUST be broken. who you are or what you have failed at are of no matter to the universe for now you have the opportunity to move beyond all and be one with the UNIVERSE.





Thursday, April 24, 2014

lollipop

as I started to blog this song jumped into my head, I don't like lollipops never was a big fan an occasional astropop ot blow pop as a child and the odd tootsie roll pop from an aunt but sweets luckily aren't my poison, so WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY that song? lmao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIRW_elc-rY
anywho pretty good day food wise as far as portion control
5 chicken tenders
3 potato wedges
bologna
biscuits (3)
2 slices of velveeta
I Cadbury caramel egg
apple fritter
I got 13,689 steps
I made it thru a whole day with no meds at all! YEAH BABY! (not even aleve!)
gonna go check out the gyms new schedule of 6am classes (I get off at 5 and it's practically around the corner) I have NEVER actually been to a fitness class, kinda nervous about my form with my wonky knee I have to "adjust" everything. I figure i'll let the instructor know that if I'm having issues but I am NOT gonna fret myself or doubt myself out before I give it my all!
in a pretty good mood despite my lack of patience bein twerked yesterday. LMAO
I KNOW that patience is not my strong suit in fact I have NONE! when I want something I want it the day before yesterday! (TRU DAT!) well we had Barbara M. Brown on the itv show Monday with her dreaming girl highway cards ( www.dreaminggirlhighway.com/) and it was a blast so I wanted to get the deck/book I tried on her website but when I got to checkout it said no link so I emailed them but never heard back. so when bell book and candle opened I called to see if it was in stock and Dar said she had one said so I asked her to hold it for me. I was extremely sleepy but around noon decided to go pick it up and be done with errands for the day. when I got there she said she was sorry she did NOT have one after all.................so I drove across town for nothing. apparently Spirit wants to teach me a lesson in patience but alas I am NOT a willing nor attentive student!!! lololol
and yeah yeah yeah I KNOW when life gives you lemons make lemonade. well gosh darn it I don't like lemonade I like sweet tea!!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

to binge or not to binge

to binge or not to binge...........is that a question/option? yes I have been losing while off plan slowly but none the less losing. mayhaps my body is finally getting back into  normal groove. I still binge and I always eat a lot probably always will, however my binges are generally single meals now not all day pig-fests. like today I have been CRAVING country fried steak with biscuits and gravy for a month and I simply ignored it but today a friend from work wanted to go to bob evans so I said yes. it fit in perfectly with my onederland by birthday goal as today is the last day before I jump back into my fitness full throttle.
I had been feelin punky for almost a week and I literally slept away my 2 off days, yesterday I went to bed at 10:30 am and slept till 8:45 pm so I was RAVENOUS by the time I got to work at 10pm (I had eaten at 8am)
so I ended up eating 4potato wedges (small one I hate the big ones)
5 chicken tenders
2 reese eggs
then I went out to breakfast at bob evans
country fried steak
2 scrambled eggs
2 biscuits
hasbrowns
a BOWL of gravy
I ate every bite of it it was WONDERFUL I loved it!
of course when I play I pay so an hour later I blew out the toilet and that was NOT fun! but at least I know most of it went right thru me! lolol  ( it happened 2 more times )
so my body no longer lets me get away with overeating like it used to, I'm gonna say that's a good thing, my craving is gone and for a whole day that's not even a whole lot of food so I'm perfectly satisfied my cravings are gone and i'll get to my goal I have no doubt!
my sweet friend Lori said on her blog someone said" I eat what I want when I want and in the amount I want" that is ground zero the place I want to be, and I'm certainly closer than I ever have been at this moment in time. I may not have accomplished what I wanted and be where I want to be as of yet me bein 45 and all but the next 45 years are gonna be the BEST!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

FMT

friend-makin-monday-for-post3-300x179
Happy Monday everyone, hope you didn’t eat too much chocolate yesterday.
The last two weeks I had some help with the questions but am back with my own questions this week. Whilst I was recovering post surgery I was thinking about all the things I could and couldn’t do with my leg in a cast and on crutches, which got me thinking about my daily routine and how it had changed, and how much I missed the things I normally did regularly.
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
Daily Routines
1.Do you eat breakfast each day? If so what?
no, I get up at 8pm and have to be at work by 10. I don't eat for about 2 hours after waking and at work it's normally between 2 or 3 am before it slows down so I may snack but not a general meal.
       
2. How do you commute to work/school and how long does it take?
I drive and it takes me between 15 and 20 minutes depending on traffic normally
3. What is the first website you go to each day?
blogger
4. Do you check email/facebook/twitter before you get out of bed?
no, the only thing I do in bed is sleep. it's a mental thing I want my mind to associate it with rest so I have a desktop in the office and I do check it as soon as I'm mobile. (and yes I'm single so sleep is all I do in MY bed!)
5. Do you take lunch to works/school from home?
I do about 4 nghts a week, tues night I get paid so I buy lunch that night. usually chicken tenders
6. What time do you normally finish work/get home?
I get off around 5am so I'm usually home by 6am
7. Do you tend to plan your evening meals in advance or do you grab something on your way home?
I stop about every 3 days an shop, I HATE the texture of frozen meat so I have to go at least a couple of times a week.
8. What do you typically do in the evening to relax?
I watch dvds, I pick a series and watch em all. just finished teen wolf and now I'm watchin the wild wild west, did I mention I have eclectic tastes? lol
9. Do you fit exercise into your daily routine, if so how?
I TRY to either by going to the gym or doin a tape at home. but alas some days my 10,000 steps are all I get and most of those are at work.
10. If you had an extra hour in your day what would you do with it?
depends on the day, sleep, read, or have sex would be my top three (not neccesarily in that order lol)
Now it is your turn to go answer them on your blog and don’t forget to come back here and link up in the comments and go and share the FMM love with other readers.
Have a great day
Sarah xxx

Monday, April 21, 2014

fmm NOT! so a weigh in

well normally I do FMM but as the page wont load (the ONLY one that wont load) I guess i'll skip it and go right to the nitty gritty the weigh-in ( cue ominous drums) y'all know I haven't been doing any real plan just "winging" it, eating whatever and whenever I want for like a month and the result is OMG! a loss! that's right y'all I'm down to 209 which is amazing and wonderful with no workouts and no dieting. now don't get me wrong I don't advocate either of those things but sometimes when you've been in the trenches as long as I have you need a break/vaca just to feel like a normal person whose life isn't ruled by food/weight. I know we all have our own battles but food is mine............
so that brings me to a goal that I'm gonna throw out there, I want to be in ONEDERLAND for my birthday and I ALWAYS focus better with a short term goal ( be healthy/thin is way too general to do me any good) so that gives me 5 weeks to get it done which breaks down to 2 pounds a week if I start on April 26th. so that is the plan, I have a couple of books that are inspiring me and I should be able to finish them and stock the pantry by then, so theoretically that gives me free reign till then and I cant really figure out anything I actually want! lmao I do so love the absurdity of that!
other than that pretty hohum hohum this week
yesterday I ate:
pulled pork bbq sandwich (4)
sour cream and onion chips
ice cream cone
bacon biscuit (2)
hamburger
beef jerky
peanut butter crackers
am cheese

Sunday, April 20, 2014

happy Easter? !

some history

Ēostre

Ostara (1884) by Johannes Gehrts. The goddess flies through the heavens surrounded by Roman-inspired putti, beams of light, and animals. Germanic people look up at the goddess from the realm below.
Ēostre or Ostara (Old English: Ēastre, Northumbrian dialect Ēostre; Old High German: *Ôstara) is a Germanic divinity who, by way of the Germanic month bearing her name (Northumbrian: Ēosturmōnaþ; West Saxon: Ēastermōnaþ; Old High German: Ôstarmânoth), is the namesake of the festival of Easter. Ēostre is attested solely by Bede in his 8th-century work The Reckoning of Time, where Bede states that during Ēosturmōnaþ (the equivalent of April), pagan Anglo-Saxons had held feasts in Eostre's honor, but that this tradition had died out by his time, replaced by the Christian Paschal month, a celebration of the resurrection of Jesus.
By way of linguistic reconstruction, the matter of a goddess called *Austrō in the Proto-Germanic language has been examined in detail since the foundation of Germanic philology in the 19th century by scholar Jacob Grimm and others. As the Germanic languages descend from Proto-Indo-European (PIE), linguists have traced the name to a Proto-Indo-European goddess of the dawn *H₂ewsṓs (→ *Ausṓs), from which descends the Common Germanic divinity from whom Ēostre and Ostara are held to descend. Scholars have linked the goddess' name to a variety of Germanic personal names, a series of location names in England, over 150 2nd century BCE matronae Austriahenae – inscriptions discovered in Germany, and have debated whether or not Eostre is an invention of Bede's. Theories connecting Ēostre with records of Germanic Easter customs, including hares and eggs, have been proposed.
Ēostre and Ostara are sometimes referenced in modern popular culture and are venerated in some forms of Germanic neopaganism.

Etymology

Old English Ēostre continues into modern English as Easter and derives from Proto-Germanic *austrōn meaning 'dawn', itself a descendent of the Proto-Indo-European root *aus-, meaning 'to shine' (modern English east also derives from this root).[1]
The goddess name Ēostre is therefore linguistically cognate with numerous other dawn goddesses attested among Indo-European language-speaking peoples. These cognates lead to the reconstruction of a Proto-Indo-European dawn goddess; the Encyclopedia of Indo-European Culture details that "a Proto-Indo-European goddess of the dawn is supported both by the evidence of cognate names and the similarity of mythic representation of the dawn goddess among various [Indo-European] groups” and that “all of this evidence permits us to posit a [Proto-Indo-European] *haéusōs 'goddess of dawn' who was characterized as a "reluctant" bringer of light for which she is punished. In three of the [Indo-European] stocks, Baltic, Greek and Indo-Iranian, the existence of a [Proto-Indo-European] 'goddess of the dawn' is given additional linguistic support in that she is designated the 'daughter of heaven'"[2]

De temporum ratione

Eástre (1909) by Jacques Reich. Directly derived from Gehrts' image (above), with the addition of Germanic worshipers replaced by a picturesque landscape
In chapter 15 of his 8th-century work De temporum ratione, Bede describes the indigenous month names of the English people. After describing the worship of the goddess Rheda during the Anglo-Saxon month of Hrethmonath, Bede writes about Eosturmonath, the month of the goddess Ēostre:
Original Latin:
Eostur-monath, qui nunc Paschalis mensis interpretatur, quondam a Dea illorum quæ Eostre vocabatur, et cui in illo festa celebrabant nomen habuit: a cujus nomine nunc Paschale tempus cognominant, consueto antiquæ observationis vocabulo gaudia novæ solemnitatis vocantes.[3]
Modern English translation:
Eosturmonath has a name which is now translated "Paschal month", and which was once called after a goddess of theirs named Eostre, in whose honour feasts were celebrated in that month. Now they designate that Paschal season by her name, calling the joys of the new rite by the time-honoured name of the old observance."[4]

Jacob Grimm, *Ostara, and Easter customs

In his 1835 Deutsche Mythologie, Jacob Grimm cites comparative evidence to reconstruct a potential continental Germanic goddess whose name would have been preserved in the Old High German name of Easter, *Ostara. Addressing skepticism towards goddesses mentioned by Bede, Grimm comments that "there is nothing improbable in them, nay the first of them is justified by clear traces in the vocabularies of Germanic tribes."[5] Specifically regarding Ēostre, Grimm continues that:
We Germans to this day call April ostermonat, and ôstarmânoth is found as early as Eginhart (temp. Car. Mag.). The great Christian festival, which usually falls in April or the end of March, bears in the oldest of OHG remains the name ôstarâ ... it is mostly found in the plural, because two days ... were kept at Easter. This Ostarâ, like the [Anglo-Saxon] Eástre, must in heathen religion have denoted a higher being, whose worship was so firmly rooted, that the Christian teachers tolerated the name, and applied it to one of their own grandest anniversaries.[6]
Grimm notes that "all of the nations bordering on us have retained the Biblical pascha; even Ulphilas writes paska, not áustrô, though he must have known the word". Grimm details that the Old High German adverb ôstar "expresses movement towards the rising sun", as did the Old Norse term austr, and potentially also Anglo-Saxon ēastor and Gothic áustr. Grimm compares these terms to the identical Latin term auster. Grimm says that the cult of the goddess may have worshiped an Old Norse form, Austra, or that her cult may have already been extinct by the time of Christianization.[7]
Grimm notes that the Old Norse Prose Edda book Gylfaginning attests to a male being called Austri, who Grimm describes as a "spirit of light." Grimm comments that a female version would have been *Austra, yet that the High German and Saxon peoples seem to have only formed Ostarâ and Eástre, feminine, and not Ostaro and Eástra, masculine. Grimm additionally speculates on the nature of the goddess and surviving folk customs that may have been associated with her in Germany:
Ostara, Eástre seems therefore to have been the divinity of the radiant dawn, of upspringing light, a spectacle that brings joy and blessing, whose meaning could be easily adapted by the resurrection-day of the Christian's God. Bonfires were lighted at Easter and according to popular belief of long standing, the moment the sun rises on Easter Sunday morning, he gives three joyful leaps, he dances for joy ... Water drawn on the Easter morning is, like that at Christmas, holy and healing ... here also heathen notions seems to have grafted themselves on great Christian festivals. Maidens clothed in white, who at Easter, at the season of returning spring, show themselves in clefts of the rock and on mountains, are suggestive of the ancient goddess.[8]
In the second volume of Deutsche Mythologie, Grimm picks up the subject of Ostara again, connecting the goddess to various German Easter festivities, including Easter eggs:
But if we admit, goddesses, then, in addition to Nerthus, Ostara has the strongest claim to consideration. To what we said on p. 290 I can add some significant facts. The heathen Easter had much in common with May-feast and the reception of spring, particularly in matter of bonfires. Then, through long ages there seem to have lingered among the people Easter-games so-called, which the church itself had to tolerate : I allude especially to the custom of Easter eggs, and to the Easter tale which preachers told from the pulpit for the people's amusement, connecting it with Christian reminiscences.[9]
Grimm comments on further Easter time customs, including unique sword dances and particular baked goods ("pastry of heathenish form"). In addition, Grimm weights a potential connection to the Slavic spring goddess Vesna and the Lithuanian Vasara.[9]

Locations, personal names, and the matronae Austriahenea

A cluster of place names in England contain and a variety of English and continental Germanic names include the element*ēoster, an early Old English word reconstructed by linguists and potentially an earlier form of the goddess name Ēostre. These locations include Eastry (Eastrgena, 788 CE) in Kent, Eastrea (Estrey, 966 CE) in Cambridgeshire, and Eastrington (Eastringatun, 959 CE) in the East Riding of Yorkshire.[10]
The element *ēoster also appears in the Old English name Easterwine, a name borne by Bede's monastery abbot in Wearmouth-Jarrow and which appears an additional three times in the Durham Liber Vitae. The name Aestorhild also appears in the Liber Vitae, and is likely the ancestor of the Middle English name Estrild. Various continental Germanic names include the element, including Austrechild, Austrighysel, Austrovald, and Ostrulf.[11]
Over 150 Romano-Germanic votive inscriptions to the matron Austriahenea were discovered in 1958 near Morken-Harff, Germany. Most of these inscriptions are in an incomplete state, yet many are in a complete enough for reasonable clarity of the inscriptions. Some of these inscriptions refer to the Austriates, evidently the name of a social group.[12]

Theories and interpretations

Dea ex Machina and the matron Austriahenea

Some debate has occurred over whether or not the goddess was an invention of Bede's, particularly in the 19th century before more widespread reconstructions of the Proto-Indo-European dawn goddess. Writing in the late 19th century, Charles J. Billson notes that scholars before his writing were divided about the existence of Bede's account of Ēostre, stating that "among authorities who have no doubt as to her existence are W. Grimm, Wackernagel, Sinrock [sic], and Wolf. On the other hand, Weinhold rejects the idea on philological grounds, and so do Heinrich Leo and Hermann Oesre. Kuhn says, 'The Anglo-Saxon Eostre looks like an invention of Bede;' and Mannhardt also dismisses her as an etymological dea ex machina." Billson says that "the whole question turns [...], upon Bede's credibility", and that "one is inclined to agree with Grimm, that it would be uncritical to saddle this eminent Father of the Church, who keeps Heathendom at arms' length and tells us less of than he knows, with the invention of this goddess." Billson points out that the Christianization of England started at the end of the 6th century, and, by the 7th, was completed. Billson argues that, as Bede was born in 672, Bede must have had opportunities to learn the names of the native goddesses of the Anglo-Saxons, "who were hardly extinct in his lifetime."[13]
Writing in the late 20th century, Rudolf Simek says that, despite expressions of doubts, Bede's account of Eostre should not be disregarded. Simek opines that a "Spring-like fertility goddess" must be assumed rather than a "goddess of sunrise" regardless of the name, reasoning that "otherwise the Germanic goddesses (and matrons) are mostly connected with prosperity and growth". Simek points to a comparison with the goddess Rheda, also attested by Bede.[14]
Scholar Philip A. Shaw (2011) writes that the subject has seen "a lengthy history of arguments for and against Bede's goddess Eostre, with some scholars taking fairly extreme positions on either side" and that some theories against the goddess have gained popular cultural prominence. Shaw, however, notes that "much of this debate, however, was conducted in ignorance of a key piece of evidence, as it was not discovered until 1958. This evidence is furnished by over 150 Romano-Germanic votive inscriptions to deities named the matron Austriahenea, found near Morken-Harff and datable to around 150–250 AD". Most of these inscriptions are in an incomplete state, yet most are in a complete enough for reasonable clarity of the inscriptions. As early as 1966 scholars have linked these names etymologically with Eostre and an element found in Germanic personal names.[15] Shaw argues against a functional interpretation from the available evidence and concludes that "the etymological connections of her name suggests that her worshippers saw her geographical and social relationship with them as more central than any functions she may have had".[16]

Hares and Freyja

An Easter postcard from 1907 depicting a rabbit
In Northern Europe, Easter imagery often involves hares and rabbits. Citing folk Easter customs in Leicestershire, England where "the profits of the land called Harecrop Leys were applied to providing a meal which was thrown on the ground at the 'Hare-pie Bank'", late 19th-century scholar Charles Isaac Elton theorizes a connection between these customs and the worship of Ēostre.[17] In his late 19th-century study of the hare in folk custom and mythology, Charles J. Billson cites numerous incidents of folk custom involving the hare around the period of Easter in Northern Europe. Billson says that "whether there was a goddess named Eostre, or not, and whatever connection the hare may have had with the ritual of Saxon or British worship, there are good grounds for believing that the sacredness of this animal reaches back into an age still more remote, where it is probably a very important part of the great Spring Festival of the prehistoric inhabitants of this island."[13]
Some scholars have linked customs and imagery involving hares to Ēostre and the Norse goddess Freyja. Writing in 1972, John Andrew Boyle cites commentary contained within an etymology dictionary by A. Ernout and A. Meillet, where the authors write that "Little else [...] is known about [Ēostre], but it has been suggested that her lights, as goddess of the dawn, were carried by hares. And she certainly represented spring fecundity, and love and carnal pleasure that leads to fecundity." Boyle responds that nothing is known about Ēostre outside of Bede's single passage, that the authors had seemingly accepted the identification of Ēostre with the Norse goddess Freyja, yet that the hare is not associated with Freyja either. Boyle writes that "her carriage, we are told by Snorri, was drawn by a pair of cats — animals, it is true, which like hares were the familiars of witches, with whom Freyja seems to have much in common." However, Boyle adds that "on the other hand, when the authors speak of the hare as the 'companion of Aphrodite and of satyrs and cupids' and point out that 'in the Middle Ages it appears beside the figure of Luxuria', they are on much surer ground and can adduce the evidence of their illustrations."[18]

Modern popular culture and modern veneration

Jacob Grimm's reconstructed *Ostara has had some influence in popular culture since. The name has been adapted as an asteroid (343 Ostara, 1892 by Max Wolf),[19] and a date on the Wiccan Wheel of the Year (Ostara, 21 March).[20] In music, the name Ostara has been adopted as a name by the musical group Ostara,[21] and as the names of albums by :zoviet*france: (Eostre, 1984) and The Wishing Tree (Ostara, 2009).
In some forms of Germanic Neopaganism, Eostre (or Ostara) is venerated. Regarding this veneration, Carole M. Cusack comments that, among adherents, Eostre is "associated with the coming of spring and the dawn, and her festival is celebrated at the spring equinox. Because she brings renewal, rebirth from the death of winter, some Heathens associate Eostre with Idunn, keeper of the apples of youth in Scandinavian mythology".[22]
Politically, the name of Ostara was in the early 20th Century invoked as the name of a German nationalist magazine, book series and publishing house established in 1905 at Mödling, Austria

Saturday, April 19, 2014

a video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2nQbh7ClCU
here's a GREAT video/song for your listening/viewing pleasure! that's all I have to say today folks.........
ressee cup
beef jerky
ramen noodles
shrimp
garlic chips
peanut butter
peanuts

Friday, April 18, 2014

the eye of the storm

I feel like I'm the eye of the storm sometimes. I am the calm surrounded by chaos and turmoil. and at times to maintain balance is all I ask. so my eating has been so/so all week but no horrid days. my weight has flatlined which I am VERY happy with. my stress eating from yesterday wasn't what I expected it to be, mayhaps because I had given myself permission to eat any and everything I wanted because after having a gun shown to me I deserved a treat! lolol warped thinking but hey my nerves were a bit shot!
drumstick (ice cream)
biscuits
spam
shrimp salad
bite of spice bread
Cheetos
bacon
beef jerky
I also got 12,324 steps

Thursday, April 17, 2014

BAD night

I had a REALLY bad night my store got robbed at gunpoint. everyones fine and no one got hurt but my nerves are SHOT! (no pun intended) I've been in retail for 28 years and this is the first time it's happened to me.


Troopers Investigate Armed Robbery of Royal Farms In Dover 



DOVER, Del.-Delaware State Police are investigating an armed robbery of the Royal Farms at 6 West Lebanon Road.

Police said the incident happened early Thursday morning around 2:20 a.m.

Authorities said a black female went inside the business and confronted the two store employees at the counter, showing a gun, and demanded money and cigarettes.

Police said the victims complied and the suspect took off southbound on South State Street. The employees were not injured in this incident.

Authorities said the suspect is wearing an all red Spiderman zip-up hooded sweatshirt and blue jeans.

Police do not have video surveillance available for release.

Anyone who may have any information in reference to this incident is asked to contact Detective M. Csapo at 302-741-2810 or Delaware Crime Stoppers at 1-800-TIP-3333. 






DEEP breaths..................
ok I ate
Italian sausage
chicken breast
bbq skins
scrambled eggs
pecans
cherries
I had such a good day food wise but I can tell you today shant be because I feel like eating the whole barn and while I wont I am going to eat whatever I want because when you've had a gun pulled on you carbs feel like the least of my worries. so scarlett o'hara it is!

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

over it!

I am over having this cold! I restocked the medicine cabinet today of all my supplies and am gonna kill or cure this thing. of course goin from mid 70s and shorts to 33 and sleet last night isn't helping at all. I actually had to dig the ice scraper out of the trunk to use at work this morning.
I've got muxinex, sudaphed, airbourne, halls defense, garlic capsuls, and vitamin c drops. time to beat this into submission!
as far as eating not bad because I've had little appetite.
ramen noodles
Italian sausage
garlic chips
blueberry muffin
peanut butter
honey (tbs)
chili (no beans)
I also managed to get in 11349 steps

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

fmt

friend-makin-monday-for-post3-300x179
I know you all love the random question weeks, this week is a variation on that. This week the questions come to you from Stephanie who blogs over at Athlete at Heart. I was lucky enough to meet the her at Fitbloggin last year. Thank you for this weeks awesome questions.
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
Favorite things.
1. Favorite color? (be specific… what shade of blue/green/red etc)
hmmmm turquoise blue if I have to pick!
2. Favorite piece of clothing you own?
I have a crew sweatshirt from tina turners break every rule tour and a custom made Elvira Mistress of the Dark pair of sneakers, if you mean that I wear the most a tie-dyed t.
3. Favorite smartphone app?
I do not have a smartphone nor do I want one and I don't use apps for anything.....I'm a technological dinosaur I mayhaps do a dozen short calls a week and 1 text every other week if that. LMAO
4. Favorite city?
provincetown mass, it's gay mecca 
5. Favorite strength training exercise?
lolol i'll have to get back to you on that one! arm curls mayhaps
6. Favorite vegetable?
romaine lettuce as Caesar salads are one of the few veggie dishes i'll consume. .
7. Favorite hair product? (shampoo, styling, conditioner etc)
right now I'm hooked on fructisse but though I have long hair I NEVER use hairspray, mouse, gel etc it's damaging.
8. Favorite animal?
I love horses, bears, and tigers but couldn't possibly pick a fave!
     
9. Favorite superhero?
wonder woman, I LOVE her!
10. Favorite recipe? (share the details with us)
when I started atkins I was desperate for something crunchy cause you really lose that so I came up with a "mock" fried chicken. I got boneless skinless breasts of chicken and parboiled til almost done. then dip in an egg wash and roll in powdered parm cheese flash fry in hot oil til crust sets then finish on a broiler in the over to let the oil drain. totally yummy and as good as actual fried chicken.

Thanks again Stephanie for the great questions. Now it is your turn to go answer them on your blog and don’t forget to come back here and link up in the comments and go and share the FMM love with other readers.
Have a great day
Sarah xxx

Monday, April 14, 2014

medicated

low key indeed haven't moved all night. and don't see me movin anytime today. lol at least I'm medicated enough to breath and my neck has loosened up as the aleve has kicked in. my appetite has come and gone a couple of times.
I ate
a sausage
hot dogs (2)
hamburger
slice of tomato
brownie
probably turning in pretty soon after I dose again

Sunday, April 13, 2014

under the wire!

whew I made it just under the wire! lol I was just NOT in the mental space to blog this morning but I'm glad I didn't fail my goal on blogging every day. it's 10:22 pm but it's still sunday! work was a chore and my nose clogged up and I simply laid around and felt blah most of the day. my neck is so stiff I can barely move it and when I do it audibly creaks and cracks, plus it feels like I'm grinding with a mortar and pestle in there. gonna take some aleve and some decongestant  as soon as I finish this post. I thought the worst was over and this cold was down for the count apparently the bell has rand and we're heading into round 2.
other than that I'm making it. I watched the 1st season of teen wolf and I really like it. hopefully danny (the gay guy) has a bigger role in season 2 cause he's YUMMY! of course the main kid and his wolven teacher are hot but I kinda dig the goofy best friend. humor gets me every time!
lets see I ate......
beef jerky
ravioli (mini-chef boy ardee) sm can
2 hamburgers
hot dog
bbq skins
a couple of macaroons
actually ate most of that early have lost my appetite as of now just feelin nausea.
drank some water to try and settle my tummy it made that worse, an ugh all the way day but I'm off tonight and tomorrow so hopefully I can mega-dose get good rest and get over this for good!

Saturday, April 12, 2014

friday

Friday funday NOT! lol they've been scheduling me by myself on fri and sat. now this has NEVER happened in the almost 4 years at my job it's simply TOO busy for one cashier and to do sidework and such. however this is where bein skilled bites me in the ass....somehow I always get everything done no matter how horrendous it is. so they decided to "help" me out and give me a trainee fri and sat night. WTF!? help, seriously. wow. yeah cause babysitting on top of all my other stuff makes it easier. LMAO cest le vie' such is life. having a cold and bein hoarse didn't help either and now my nose is runnin again. BLAH!
anywho one more night and I'm off for two and I can rest!
my eating was what it was
beef jerky
bologna biscuits (3)
ham
chili
cheddar cheese
 handful of tostitos
payday
bbq skins
I managed to get 8288steps because I was tied to the register as I did about 200 extra customers since it was almost 70 degrees and everybody was partying!
so far I'm sticking to my pledge to blog EVERY single day of 2014 but I realize many of these are "token" efforts but a goal is a goal so I'm gonna stick to it and one of these days i'll be "inspired" and write y'all a TOME! lolol

Friday, April 11, 2014

GETTIN THERE

been sick and wantin to get better getting there! ever so slowly but surely. I am a HORRIBLE patient I don't like bein sick and I'm a grump! lol but I generally shut myself off from the world so as not to take it out on the innocent!
food was so-so
biscuits
ham
cheese
bologna
bbq skins
1/2 pack ramen noodles with butter and parm.
peanuts
pepperoni
cracklins
I got 11,628 steps in
I only took 2 doses of meds instead of every 4 to 6 hours as I wanna wean myself asap!
I'm to the point I only cough if I get overheated so I'm tryin to stay fairly sedentary. I have no real complaints as most people are down with this for a week or more. I was only bad 2 days so thank you thank you thank you!
if anyone has ANY clue what to do to get video and pics to post on blogger please lemme know I haven't been able to for a month now and it's drivin me bonkers!

Thursday, April 10, 2014

ugh, blah, but HAPPY!

it's an ugh/blah day because I'm fighting a cold (tooth and nail!) so far I'm less ill than anyone at work or home cause I throw everything AND the kitchen sink at it herbally/supplementally and so far I had a sore throat for one day and now I just stuff up on occasion and cough if I get overheated.
but I am HAPPY! and that's a good thing.
food wise not too shabby
salmon
Caesar salad
chicken breast
smoke sausage (1/2)
cracklins
peanuts
apple fritter (1/2)
individual frozen pizza thin crust sausage and pepperoni
I also ate vitamin c drops like candy! lol I talk ALL night so I cant afford to have a scratchy throat or lose my voice. trying to figure out how to post a vlog one of these days mayhaps on mon when I'm off.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

happy

I have joined a page commited to being happy for 100 days, y'all should too!  www.100happydays.com
Can you be happy for
100 days
in a row?
We live in times when super-busy schedules have become something to boast about. While the speed of life increases, there is less and less time to enjoy the moment that you are in. The ability to appreciate the moment, the environment and yourself in it, isthe base for the bridge towards long term happiness of any human being.

71% of people tried to complete this challenge, but failed quoting lack of time as the main reason.These people simply did not have time to be happy. Do you? 
every day submit a picture of what made you happy! 

It can be anything from a meet-up with a friend to a very tasty cake in the nearby coffee place, from a feeling of being at home after a hard day to a favor you didto a stranger. 

#100happyday challenge is for you - not for anyone else.
It is not a happiness competition or a showing off contest. If you try to please / make others jealous via your pictures - you lose without even starting. Same goes for cheating.

People successfully completing the challenge claimed to:
 - Start noticing what makes them happy every day;
 - Be in a better mood every day;
 - Start receiving more compliments from other people;
 - Realize how lucky they are to have the life they have;
 - Become more optimistic;
 - Fall in love during the challenge.

Even when the challenge is over the collected 100 happy moments can always remind you about the beauty of your life. For that, you can receive a little 100 page book with your 100 happy daysat the finish line of the challenge!


Tuesday, April 8, 2014

fmm on a tues


Happy Monday everyone.
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
This week’s random questions come to you from Tyra who blogs over at Random Acts of Snark. Thanks Tyra for the awesome questions.
1. Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? What was it?
I don't have a recurring dream but all my dreams (99%) are either in my grandparents home , no matter if it's a store, school, etc etc  if it's a "good"dream, and all my nightmares are in my step-monsters house.
2. What was the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten?
weird by whose standards I'm from the south ya know. lolol fried dill pickles, bear sausage, mountain oysters, but I also try ethnic foods, curry goat, all kinds of stuff.
3. Can you comfortably eat in a restaurant by yourself? Go to movie?
Yes, but I do prefer company
4. What would you leave in your will for the person you care about the most?
hmmmmmmm not a clue those I thought mattered matter not and the things I hold dear matter to no one I know. lolol collecting Elvira Mistress of the Dark memorabilia isn't exactly common!
5. Would you rather…Go without television or fast food for the rest of your life?
Fast food  definately
6. What was the best thing that happened to you this past week?
our new Itv show premiered, I cohost with my tarot bff Rebecca Brown.
       
Photo: hey y'all our first ITV show is Monday at 7pm eastern, would love to have everyone there with us, it should be fun and informative too! (at least that's the plan! ~giggle~)
7. List the food items you take at a salad bar.
Lettuce, pepperoni, ham, bacon, cheese, Caesar dressing mayhaps sunflower seeds if available
8. If you were in the “Miss America” talent competition, what would your talent be? (Note: both guys & gals have to answer this question)
bellydancing
9. What do you keep in the trunk of your car?
I don't have a car
10. How many rings before you answer the phone?
usually don't answer at all, and if it's restricted I aint EVER gonna answer! of course I work 3rd shift so I'm asleep most days. lol
Thanks again Tyra for the awesome questions.
Have a great day
Sarah xxx

Monday, April 7, 2014

blah

everyone at work has been sick and I'm trying to get a cold throat was sore 1 day and now I'm stuffy so goin to take some meds go to bed cause I have a ITV show tonight at 7pm.
food was soso cause I felt stuffy.
beef jerky
ham sandwich
tostitos
hunts pudding pack
meatballs
salt and pepper skins
no steps at all lol

Sunday, April 6, 2014

tra la la la

tra la la la nothing goin on here but the music in my head! lol I got to leave work 5 minutes early today and that hasn't happened in 6 months! so WOO HOO! I was very excited and this starts my regular schedule of tues-sat. so I'm VERY happy indeed!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yqAaejuRn8
on the food front I had a pretty good day.
 I did chili cheese dogs atkins style (no beans or buns) just cut up beef hot dogs and shredded am cheese in a bowl of chili
cheetos
taco salad
apple fritter
peanuts
chicken breast
ramen noodles
I got 8927 steps because I was literally too busy to move for large portions of the night and I'm ok with that. plus I gotta check my meter cause I think it's not counting properly sometimes. I keep it in my pocket because I broke the clip ages ago.
gonna weigh when I get up tonight.
very happy I got a camera installed on my pc and loaded Skype all by myself (technology is NOT my friend, definitely frenemys) so I'm all ready for the launch of the brand new tarot talk itv show Monday night at 7pm eastern.


Saturday, April 5, 2014

hangin in

I am hangin in and doin fine, nothing drastic nor dramatic to report and that's a GOOD thing! lolol
food wise I ate
chilli cheese dogs sans bun of course
apple fritter
cheddar cheese
cracklins
coconut
not much of an appetite but enjoying what I do eat.
I got 12,940 steps in and havin a pretty good weekend.

Friday, April 4, 2014

better/quiter

a better quitter night! thank goodness. lol
no random gunshot victims or other shenanigans.
food journal:
cracklins
tomato cucumber salad
garlic nan bread
curry chicken and rice
spicy glazed chicken
bologna biscuit
American cheese
ritz crackers
I was supposed to have a reading yesterday but it was cancelled so I wound up at the indian buffet and I ate 1 1/2 plates and as soon as I was full I stopped. I also drank 1 1/2 pitcher of water while I was there. I LOVE the music they play there it's so peppy and upbeat the hostess/waitress was laughing at me because she was in back and I was standing up front waiting for her in full shimmy in front of everyone. she LOVED it! lololol and I honestly have no shame when it comes to dancing I will dance anywhere in front of anyone!
in a pretty good space mentally , I'm kinda enjoying my self imposed limbo of not bein on a plan for a bit. and my appetite certainly isn't in overdrive quite the opposite. I eat til I'm full and stop. what a concept! lolol




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSoOFn3wQV4
this was in my head this morning so I'm sharing.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

food journal

well day 1 was INSANE! I had someone get shot in the face and drive to my store and collapse. kinda scary cause no clue who shot em or why. so police there, crime tape the whole nine yards and every lookie lou and their grandma in bein nosy. I'm tryin to give my statement to the police and one old guy started grilling me, when I looked at him and said the picture they showed me looks a lot like you he got offended/mad/nervous betcha he had warrants! lolol
I decided to just eat for a couple of days to get an idea of how much I eat when not on plan and average it out ....
banana nut muffin
taco salad
3 chicken tenders
cracklins
 biscuit (1)
that's  it I was really too busy to eat at work and now I need a nap cause I have a reading at 10:30 am and back to work at 10pm.
I got 11,174 steps

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

day 3

well my mini-vaca had wound down I go back to work at 10pm tonight, BIG sigh! it was nice while it lasted. lol I managed to do a whole lot of nothing and then some but I am relaxed and refreshed!
hmmm lets see what did I eat yesterday?
chicken bacon ranch cheesesteak and fries
bologna biscuits
almond oatmeal bar
cool ranch doritos
sausage pizza (1 slice)
cracklins
that's more carbs than I've had in months and I can tell I totally crashed last night on the floor and 4 hours later crawled into bed and crashed for another 6! apparently I needed to rest. I can tell you one thing this proves to me whatever plan I follow and whether I'm on plan or not I need to food journal every bite and morsel BEFORE it goes down the gullet not trying to remember at the end of the day. there's just no accountability at all this way and I feel out of control when I have to ponder what went down the "pie-hole"
so starting with my new day which formme is at 8:30 when I wake up I'm food journaling BIG time. I already put the journal in my bag so no excuses!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

day 2

enjoying myself immensely and not gonna feel guilty or worry about anything at all!
that bein said chili dogs were the crave and I fixed em, 4 of em cause I was starving. took one bite and was like UGH bread! so I put the chili in a bowl chopped up the hot dogs and threw the bread away! lmao
so I ate
chili with beef hot dogs (no beans and only one bite of bread)
salt and pepper skins
chicken breast
ham
veal (yummy!)
cole slaw
ritz crackers (garlic and butter variety)
beef jerky (3 sticks)
it's funny but when I allow myself to eat anything I want I cant really come up with anything I want that's too far off plan! go figure! LMAO