THE ENEMY

SO WHAT REPRESENTS YOUR DIET IN TERMS OF THE ENEMY?
Leviathan (/lɨˈvaɪ.əθən/; Hebrew: לִוְיָתָן, Modern Livyatan Tiberian Liwyāṯān ; "twisted, coiled") is a sea monster referenced in the Tanakh, or the Old Testament.
The word has become synonymous with any large sea monster or creature. In literature (e.g., Herman Melville's Moby-Dick) it refers to great whales, and in Modern Hebrew, it simply means "whale". It is described extensively in Job 41 and mentioned in Isaiah 27:1.
LOLOL . a friend named their ball python this and it just seemed appropo for my appetite!
no reason it's just cute!



my roomie bought me a new mask and it matches my wings, so cool. I LOVE presents!






as far as food I did good.
bologna
peanuts
pork roast
ramen
garlic bread
2 oatmeal cookies
chicken breast

Vienna sausage

MAINTAIN:

I'M MAINTAINING AND THAT'S A GOOD THING!

main·tain

verb \mān-ˈtān, mən-\

: to cause (something) to exist or continue without changing
: to keep (something) in good condition by making repairs, correcting problems, etc.

: to continue having or doing (something)

CloseStyle: MLA APA Chicago

Full Definition of MAINTAIN

transitive verb

1

:  to keep in an existing state (as of repair, efficiency, or validity) :  preserve from failure or decline <maintain machinery>

2

:  to sustain against opposition or danger :  uphold and defend <maintain a position>

3

:  to continue or persevere in :  carry on, keep up <couldn't maintain his composure>

4

a :  to support or provide for <has a family to maintain>

b :  sustain <enough food to maintain life>

5

:  to affirm in or as if in argument :  assert <maintained that the earth is flat>

— main·tain·abil·i·ty \-ˌtā-nə-ˈbi-lə-tē\ noun

— main·tain·able \-ˈtā-nə-bəl\ adjective

— main·tain·er noun

Examples of MAINTAIN

1. They have always maintained high standards of professional conduct.
2. He has found it difficult to maintain a healthy weight.
3. The company has done a poor job of maintaining its computer network.
4. It was obvious that the house had been poorly maintained.
5. She was finding it hard to maintain her balance.
6. She still maintains a close relationship with her college roommate.
7. It's difficult to maintain a correspondence when we're both so busy.
8. The pilot was struggling to maintain control of the aircraft.
9. The police say that they will do whatever is necessary to maintain law and order.

Origin of MAINTAIN

Middle English mainteinen, from Anglo-French maintenir, maynteiner, from Medieval Latin manutenēre, from Latin manu tenēre to hold in the hand

First Known Use: 14th century

I'M HOLDING STEADY AT 207 AND THATS WITH NO PLAN AT ALL, SO I'M SATISFIED WITH THAT. WORKIN UP TO KICKIN THAT NOTCH THING BUT AT LEAST I HAVENT GAINED AND I'M GOOD MENTALLY.

FOOD WISE IT'S BEEN STRANGE WITH MY TASTEBUDS BEIN ALL PERSNICKITY.

bologna sandwich (took one bite and threw the bread out!)

chicken breast

peanuts

chocolate chip cookie (2)

munchos

chili

totinos sausage pizza (2)

so I can add bread to the list of foods I adore that are now icky.........bread, potatoes, donuts, cheese

For my voracious reader friends (& those who've just read when forced), please list 10 books that have left a lasting impression on you. They needn't be classics, or high-brow. Just those that you'll always remember. i could write a list of 100 (yep, my geek IS showing), but I'll play nice and keep it to 10. Please play. You can put your list in the comments, here, or on your own status and tag me... in it so I can see. READ ON!!!

1.the LOTR series by Tolkien

2.the harry potter series by jk rowling

3.everything by carlos castenada

4.animal speak by ted Andrews

5.shaman healer sage by alberto villilodo

6.spiritwalker by hank wesselman

 7.the way of the shaman by Michael harner

8.the complete tightwad gazette by amy dacyczyn

9.the stand by Stephen king

10.the dune series by frank Herbert

another night another dream

this ones been in my head all night! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pav2f4b-1ZE
it wasn't a horrible night because I refuse to let that happen but it was "interesting" lolol and that's all I'm gonna say about that!
food was good my taste buds are shifting again apparently. I was just craving a krispy kreme glazed donut and of course they delivered late and I was salivating by the time I got it took 2 small bites and tossed that bad boy into the garbage it was soooooooooo disgustingly sweet. but that's what they are, it's me that was different so. who knows what that signals. I know I've never been one for popcorn or cheese puffs but that puffcorn cheese flavor is mighty tasty right now.


ok food:
1/2 glazed donut
cheese puffcorn 1/2 bag
chicken breast
totinos sm meat pizza
peanuts
ritz garlic crackers
bologna
I feel like I eat a lot but when I actually tally it my eating is way down overall. so that's a GOOD thing!

lmao............reminds me of a story. I went over to my granny house for lunch and she was salting the hell out of her food and I said "didn't your dr put you on a low/no sodium diet?" to which she replied "he said to avoid sodium he didn't say anything about salt" lmao and that is the problem with communication when there isn't an understanding but she didn't believe me and actually called her dr to check. LMAO



day 2 of my rain on a tin roof cd was a HUGE success, I haven't slept that soundly in ages!


http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000RUR3S0/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
here's the link if y'all wanna check it out!
and sending prayers to joan rivers for a swift/complete recovery she's a tough old broad and that's gonna come in handy now!

rain on a tin roof

well I LOVE my rain on a tin roof cd, it sure does make me wanna stay in lala land. I could've slept the day/night away but alas I had a class at 7pm so I had to get up several hours early. well worth it , it was the final class of the art and magic of tarot course I was taking from Helena Domenic (creator of the Fellowship of the Fool Tarot and an art history professor) I had a blast!
food was ok not real hungry:
butterfinger
peanuts
hamburger helper (1 cup)
garlic bread (1 slice)
chicken breast
bbq chips (handful)
peanut butter
pepperoni
pretty excited I made my appointment to start my next tattoo , it's a cover up of an old tribal I'm bored with. it's not a "bad" tattoo I just got it young because it looked cool and it's not personal like all my others...........so I'm getting a bear and a skull which is VERY personal. see bein of Cherokee ancestry I work with animal totems and bear is my healing totem. he appeared to me unbidden and dismembered me, as he does EVERY time we work together. he think s I need to let go of my shit and start over so that's what we do! so this represents that.... here's the sketch

https://www.facebook.com/daveman1982
this is by https://www.facebook.com/daveman1982 an awesome artist I HIGHLY recommend . he's working out of tough luck now if you need anything done he's the man!
https://www.facebook.com/tough.dover

sleeeeeepy!

the festival wore me OUT! and all I've done since is sleep. twice I fell asleep while I was trying to eat! lol and work felt so very long. I'm gonna pop in a dvd and watch an episode of csi (I'm on season 10 the WORST season ever, fishburn just wasn't a good fit and the writers had him jump from newbie to running cases as a csi 1 or 2. but I like some of the other stuff and I'm determined to make it thru, thank goodness for ted damson he's magnificent (and I hated cheers! lol)
anywho food was ok.....
snickers peanut butter
peanuts
1/4 lb beef dogs ( 2, 1 with bun 1 without)
bbq chips
country fried steak
fried bologna
in a good space but I'm excited for sleep , because well I'm sleepy but I also got a rain on a tin roof cd that I wanna try! I always LOVED that when I was a kid at my grandmas house. i'll letcha know how that works out.
here's a pic of me doin my thing at Delmarva pagan pride and I must say I'm shocked at how thin I look, sitting down no less! WOOT!

sports illustrated ? and buffalo chicken lasagna

 LMAO well ok then you go.............gurl!?
love love love Richard but I think it's so silly he denys he's gay as if his fans would care. and yet he posts pictures of himself in costume aka DRAG (for those who don't know the term drag comes from shakespear in his plays he would write in the margins DRessed As Girl which shorthanded to DRAG)
as there were no females allowed to act in those days.............end of HERSTORY lesson!



BUFFALO CHICKEN LASAGNA! Excuse my excitement... but this is awesome! I'm actually new to buffalo wings. I ate my first wing at thirty years old. Yep, it's true. Wings never seemed like "my thing." But I was wrong... oh so wrong. I loveeee Buffalo wings now!

When I saw a recipe for Buffalo chicken lasagna I was really excited! But once I read the recipes I found online I felt like none were what I really wanted. As I usually do, I took the idea and made my own unique version. And it rocks. And because I'm awesome I share my recipes.

Ingredients:
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon butter
1/4 cup onion, diced
1 clove garlic, minced
8 ounce cream cheese
1 cup buffalo wing sauce
Hot pepper sauce (amount based on your own preference)
2 cups cooked chicken, shredded (I baked chicken tenders in the oven covered with foil at 350 for 25 minutes)
1/2 cup ranch dressing
8 ounce package of shredded mozzarella cheese
Lasagna noodles, cooked according to package directions

Directions:
In a medium pot, heat the olive oil and butter over medium heat until butter is melted. Add the onions and cook until translucent. Add the garlic and cook for 2-3 minutes.
Cut the cream cheese into cubes and add to the pot. Stir well until completely melted then add in the buffalo sauce and a few dashes of hot pepper sauce to taste. Spoon a small amount of the buffalo and cream cheese sauce into the bottom of a 9x13 baking dish and spread it around to cover the bottom of the dish. Stir the chicken into the sauce in the pot.
Place one layer of lasagna noodles in the bottom of the dish. Spread half of the chicken mixture over the noodles then drizzle with half of the ranch dressing. Add another layer of noodles and then the remaining chicken and ranch dressing. Place a final layer of lasagna noodles and then spread the cheese over the top.
Bake at 350 for about 25 minutes. Serve with ranch or blue cheese dressing and maybe some carrot and celery sticks.
this looks/sounds YUMMY! definitely a splurge option for me!
and that brings me to my food intake! since I ate almost nothing sunday I certainly made up for it Monday!
bacon pizza medium (thin crust white sauce........yes the WHOLE thing)
chicken alfredo sm bowl
bow ties with tomato sauce (1/2 serving)
4 mini baby ruths
peanuts
nutty bar
oatmeal cake (2)
hamburger helper lasagna (since I didn't have the stuff handy to make the buffalo one LMAO)
garlic bread
puff corn

sprinkles? lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGK58X7YP2Y&feature=share
nam myoho renge kyo has ALWAYS soothed/uplifted me and I listen to it whenever I need to feel "peace/love/understanding"
I had a wonderful day yesterday it was my first festival and it was VERY prosperous for me, emotionally and financially. I had amazing clients and wonderful feedback. I actually was too busy to even eat and I was STARVING by the time I got home (I was there from 8am till 5pm) and I needed food to nurish and ground me cause I was kinda loopy after all that channeling. I ordered a pizza and one of those pasta sides from dominos and fell asleep eating the pasta never even touched the pizza . now that's a new experience, I still find it odd when food isn't the main priority because for so many decades it was THE priority. but odd in a GREAT way! lol
this gave me a giggle cause it's true but I NEVER stop!





and this happens to me all the time, windows too ! LMAO



and mayhaps I should rethink my fitness plan, do y'all like sprinkles? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

the "OTHER" side of mwah

I USUALLY DONT SHARE MY TAROT STUFF ON THIS BLOG BUT TODAY I FEEL LIKE ALLOWING A PEEK INTO MY "OTHER" LIFE! lol

todays card is the HIGH PRIESTESS:
she IS that inner mystical wisdom, the connection to the ether and the subconscious. she is the magical fountain of universal knowledge that we delve/dive into when we open to dreams (sleeping and waking o...nes!) she is potential yet unexplored and endless possibility, if you can BElieve it you can BE it, and she can help make it so. words simply cant express the power of the High Priestess (much as I try) for she is unknown and shrouded in mystery and when that knowledge opens to you it's unimaginable and a return to home at the same time. she is what we have forgotten when we enter into this mundane world and what we feel separated from and long for. that's why her mysteries enchant and terrify us in the same breath......
for me she IS the owl and all the owl represents. the mystery of magic, omens, silent wisdom, and seeing in the darkness. historically it was either revered or feared and has been linked to Athena and her wisdom. it has also been linked to Lillith and knows everyone's secrets. and when you work with it all shall be revealed., remain silent and the information will become apparent to you.
she has been speaking to me in dream and signs for a while now and today I honor her as I allow myself to be swept along on this magical ride and rise to the next level on my journey. i came out of the "tarot closet" and started reading professionally on a regular basis over a year ago (I dabbled for 20 years) and it's been transformative and enlightening. today I shall be at the Delmarva Pagan Pride Festival doing readings all day , that's about as front and center as you can get. I KNOW that it's where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing TODAY beyond that is still shrouded but I have a sense that mayhaps the next leg of my journey may be revealed today...........so what do y'all need to allow into your realm of existence, are you resisting change? are you letting those magical ideas evolve into the mundane world? let the energy flow freely and embrace it. take the magical mystery ride and see what happens

INSPIRE OT INTIMIDATE?

WHEN Y'ALL SEE HEALTHY/FIT/THIN PEOPLE DOES IT INSPIRE YOU OR INTIMIDATE YOU OR JUST PISS YOU OFF? lol IT REALLY DEPENDS ON THE SETTING I WAS AT THE GYM AND (remember BAD knee) AND I WAS DOIN INTERVALS OF 5MPH FOR 1 MINUTE AND I WAS SO PROUD AND FELT LIKE KING KONG ON COCAINE THEN THIS PROBABLY 70 YEAR OLD 100 POUND 4 FT 11 ORIENTAL LADY GOT ON AND STARTED RUNNING AT 7MPH AND SHE DID IT FOR 30 MINUTES I TELL YA I FELT LIKE A BIG OLE LOSER! OF COURSE NOW I'VE LET MYSELF GET WAY OUT OF SHAPE AND I'D KILL TO BE ABLE TO DO A 5MPH MINUTE. ..... HUMANS JUST CANT SEEM TO BE HAPPY WITH WHAT WE HAVE CAN WE!? I USED TO FEEL ASHAMED IN THE GYM WHEN I WAS AT MY HEAVIEST SO I MOSTLY WORKED OUT AT HOME TO DVDS EVEN WHEN I PAID FOR A GYM MEMBERSHIP. I'M PRETTY MUCH OVER BEIN BOTHERED BY THE PHYSICAL APPEARENCE BUT I HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE OUTDOES ME THAT IS BIGGER THAN ME AND I USE THAT TO PUSH MYSELF. BEING HEAVY DOESNT MEAN YOU AREN'T FIT SOME BIG PEOPLE ARE ATHLETIC ROCK STARS. I TRY TO CHANNEL MY ENVY/ANGST INTO POSITIVE ACTION. IF YOU SEE A REALLY FIT PERSON DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK THEM WHAT THEY DO (NOT WHILE THEY'RE WORKING OUT!) MOST PEOPLE ARE HAPPY TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
AND PART OF THE PROBLEM IS WE COMPARE/COMPETE WITH EVERYONE. SOME PEOPLE ARE GIFTED PHYSICALLY, SOME MENTALLY, SOME SPIRITUALLY, SOME ARTISTICALLY...........SO COMPARATIVELY SPEAKING NOT ALL ARE CREATED EQUAL. YET WE PERSIST IN HOLDING OURSELVES UP TO AN UNREALISTIC STANDARD. THOSE REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES/SKINNY BITCH POSTS BOTHER ME BECAUSE ALL WOMEN ARE "REAL" WOMEN. MAYHAPS THAT SKINNY BITCH IS BULLEMIC OR HAD/HAS AN ILLNESS. MAYHAPS SHE SIMPLY HAS NO FOOD, JUST AS THAT FAT BITCH HAS A THYROID PROBLEM OR MEDS THAT MAKE HER GAIN WEIGHT. SAME FOR GUYS THOUGH MEN GET MORE OF A PASS, AT LEAST STRAIGHT MEN DO. GAY MEN ARE BRUTAL WHEN IT COMES TO WEIGHT AND AGE ISSUES. SO DONT THINK WOMEN BEAR THE BRUNT OF IT.
THIS IS KINDA THE SAME THING IN REVERSE, YES TANTUM CHANNING IS AN IMPOSSIBLE STANDARD TO LIVE UP TO FOR THE VAST MAJORITY BUT HE IS GENETICALLY GIFTED AND HE WORKS OUT ALL THE TIME AND EATS RIGHT TOO.

 AND SOME AWESOME THOUGHTS FROM THE BIGGEST SEX SYMBOL EVER, MARILYN



AS FAR AS MY EATING TODAY WAS AVERAGE:
CHEESE PUFFS
REESE CUP (OF COURSE lol)
CHICKEN BREAST
BOLOGNA
PEANUTS
SAUSAGE
CHICKEN BREAST (again)
SCRAMBLED EGGS
AMERICAN CHEESE

to weigh or not to weigh................

I have been doing well NOT weighing which is a new thing for me. when I was actively losing large amounts of weight I felt like I HAD to weigh often and as the pounds melted away it kept me motivated and on target but as I stopped losing it became a reminder of my failure and depressed me or pissed me off depending on the week...........I have NEVER felt weighing every single day was a good thing because it would drive me bonkers. the body naturally fluctuates depending on hormonal levels, the moon, etc etc. but it works for some people...........the scale has actually been a frenemy  for a while now and I choose to depict him as my "negative" voice aka SHITHEAD THE SCALE

do NOT listen to it, tell em to EFF OFF and prove them wrong because you can do it, and so can I!
and I'm gonna recommend staying out of others drama as the best piece of advice EVER! because they'll drag you in insist you take sides or offen an opinion and then BLAME you for tellin the truth!



and in case y'all need some inspiration this Friday, you cant get much better than Christopher Meloni





my food was ok ............
reese cup (my one a day treat/cheat)
1/4 lb beef hot dog
chicken salad
pickle
ramen noodle
triple meat pizza (sm totinos)
chili
smoke sausage
 and a reminder you can do anything you want to, it's simply up to you to BELIEVE IT and BE IT!

eat whatever you want!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!








makes me think of eddie murphy in nutty professor...............no tittys no tittys no tittys lol




 lolol

agood day...............

as y'all know we discussed the fabulous The Fountain Tarot on tonights The Tarot Talk Itv Show on Paraencounters Network and while the entire deck is astonishing the THREE of SWORDS was really speaking to me. normally that is my least favo...rite card in any deck. it's old pain, angst, heartache, emotional baggage you haven't been able to deal with etc etc for an orphan who grew up gay in the south there's LOTS of shit you simply pack away. but when I saw the card I was so mesmerized that I had to meditate on it and what I got was beautiful and transformative. the emotion and sorrow usually involved are now cold and frozen, the raw emotion and that murkiness in the heart are crystal clear and I could see right thru to the "heart" of it all and let cool unemotional logic resolve all of this. I am no longer vested of the pain so letting it go is freeing, and it also inspired me/showed me that I tend to give too much of me and my precious energy to being reactionary. things happen I react well not any more, I tend to be PROACTIVE in what I say/do/think/am. and for a week that's 7 whole days I shall neither say nor post anything negative here on or my blog and not in my life either. I'm going to have the best week of my life, I KNOW it , I BELIEVE it, so shall it be! I'd love for y'all to join me in my week of positivity, so who's in. lets spread the message far and wide, as I focus on positivity I feed that energy. the negative beastie is just gonna have to starve and wither away because I've wasted enough of me on that.........so each day I'm gonna find happy positive stories/messages to share. happy thoughts and good vibes sent globally, and change the world starting with me! I BELIEVE ONE PERSON CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE SO WHY SHOULDN'T I START WITH ME!

ok no clue WHY we're doin a link to a non link post but it IS blogger so no rhyme or reason necessary!


but I'm NOT gonna get upset or throw a fit it is what it is, I'm just happy it's letting me post...................




I ate:
snickerdoodle cookies (2)
chicken breast
hot dogs
bologna
handful of sour cream chips
American cheese
fish sticks 1/2 serving tossed the rest they do NOT reheat well! lol

friend makin...............TUESDAYS!

Friend Makin’ Mondays: Randomness

categories: Friend Makin Mondays

Friend Makin’ Mondays

Welcome to another Friend Makin’ Mondays. So I have decided I will probably stick to doing this every two weeks, instead of weekly, as it’s surprisingly hard to think of questions, or it gets to Sunday and I have forgotten. Feel free to pop by every week though, as you never know I may have a brainwave and do two weeks in a row. If you have ideas for questions feel free to email me sarah@losingweightandhavingfun.com
If you’ve taken part in Friend Makin’ Mondays before then you are familiar with the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to read and comment on a couple of other posts.
This week’s is totally random and is based on things I have read about this week.
1. If you were given $10,000 and told you could donate it to a single charity of your choosing, what charity would you choose?

the NOH8 campaign...........http://www.noh8campaign.com/article/about

2. If you were given $10,000 to spend on yourself (not to treat others or give away), what would you buy?

that's easy a couple of grand right off the top for the Elvira pinball!



a grand for the Elvira guitar

and I'd get my ribs done with an Elvira tatt


what can I say I'm Elvira-obsessive, have been since I was 10 years old. I have a whole bookcase of memorabilia!
and I'd go to the Between the worlds conference in march, and publish my 3 books of poetry and my tarot deck I'm working on.

3. Toilet paper (or loo roll as we say in England) do you have it hanging over or under on the roll?

why is this still debated? it goes OVER and the only reason to do it under is to be an asshat wanting to irritate others and cause controversy! LMAO


the whole it's harder for babies to roll the whole roll if it's under argument is just bad parenting. your child shouldn't be out of your sight long enough to do that much damage and if you smack those little hands and say NO that should take care of the whole problem (oops! I just tweaked the I don't hit my child set too!)
4. When you drink your water do you like it plain or with a slice of fruit?

plain with LOTS of ice!

5. Are you left handed, right handed or ambidextrous?

I usually write with my right and but am ambidextrous in all other uses.

6. Thinking of the amazing Robin Williams who passed away this week What is your favorite Robin Williams movie?

oh goodness you're gonna get me in trouble, all my friends say I'm heartless and mean. I couldn't stand him. he ruined the birdcage, mork and mindy sucked and I just didn't "get" him at all. I actually feel bad for his family but just like kurt cobain he had everything and couldn't deal what kind of message did that send to others without his means with "issues" ........since I'm already putting it out there i'll go all in and say I was appalled at the lack of coverage about Lauren Bacall's passing who was a LEGEND of the silver screen and changed the face of film for women. people have no sense of history or appreciation for the pioneers who broke new ground............on a sad note that made me feel ancient with her passing all 16 of the legends name dropped in madonnas vogue have now left us.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuJQSAiODqI

7. Do you prefer cow’s milk or a different kind of milk?

I seldom use any but I definitely prefer UNpasturized milk, that tasteless pseudo-beverage they say in stores is NOT milk. it's horrible, my grandma milked a cow and I got to have the real deal, I even got to churn butter when I was a kid. and y'all know what I TREASURE those experiences that so many will never get to have because the world has gone technowampus, that's cattywampus and technology combined in case it aint obvious! lol

8. Do you prefer to read an actual book or on an electronic device?

I DESPISE kindles (and mp3s)  a book has a weight, a smell, a soul..............you simply are getting an empty shell with a kindle. i'll be glad when this "fad" fades into oblivion!

9. Oatmeal – hot or cold?

I've never even heard of eating oatmeal cold that would be GROSS, lol I'm a bit of a prude when it comes to addatives also. I use butter and sugar, or mayhaps an occasional banana or rasin and that's it no weirdness in my breakfast thank you very much!

10. Pies – sweet or savory?

hmmmmmmmmmmm TART! lol key lime, lemon, but and I could be stripped of my "southern" for this I hate pot pies! I also love pecan pie which is kinda salty

Now go answer the questions on your blog and don’t forget to come back and post a link in the comments and go check out other peoples answers too – make those friends!
Have a great day
Sarah xxx

secrets

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqqqV50zaAc&feature=share
 I LOVE that the trend right now in music is acceptance and love for the body you have, even if you're trying to change it. you still need to love yourself along the way.........so check out secrets and enjoy!  of course the point of this is just what is a secret?

adj. adjective

1. Kept hidden from knowledge or view; concealed.
   a secret identity; a secret passageway.
2. Not expressed; inward.
   secret desires.
3. Given to keeping one's thoughts and activities unknown to others; secretive.

n. noun

1. Something that is kept out of the knowledge or sight of others or is known only to oneself or a few.
   wanted to have no secrets between them.
2. Something that remains beyond understanding or explanation; a mystery.
   unlocking the secrets of the atom.
3. A method or formula for doing or making something well, especially when not widely known.
   The secret of this dish is in the sauce.

for me when I think/hear secret it conjures up not something fun like a best friend secret or a happy secret crush kinda thing. secret is synonymous with SHAME. I secretly eat in my car so n o one sees what a pig I am. I secretly keep a stash of candy/chips in my desk drawer or back of the closet. I've known that shame intimately I think most overweight people have because thin people watch you constantly when you eat so you cant really enjoy the food.............and then there's our family who try to make us feel better by feeding us treats thus associating food with love and since we (fat people) don't love ourselves we eat to feel love if only for a fleeting moment. I still do it to some extent cause I tend to fix my food and go to my room to eat. it's really a habit at this point, I've WON the damn battle with weight, oh I'm not at goal but I've broken that mindset of being a fatty and all the negativity that goes along with it. I'm beautiful and healthy and PERFECT right now (so are y'all!) and anyone who doesn't see that can kiss my ass!

it's like wearing clothes that fit, I still want to wear a 2x even though an xl fits great, I wear a 32 jean but had been wearing 34s to work because I didn't want to wear em tight. I have stopped that I'm happy to say and I'm now wearing my 32s to work. I also bougt some xl tanks , and tanks and me usually don't get along. oh i'll wear tham around the house but loose and NEVER outside, well I'm doing readings all day next sunday at Pagan pride and I bought a tank to wear at a public event with hundreds of people attending. I'm also doing readings all day so i'll be front and center no hiding or shying away from getting noticed!

so if you hide yourself away from the light STOP! can we all just sing girls just wanna have fun here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A

I come home in the morning light,
My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?"
Oh,mother,dear,
We're not the fortunate ones,
And girls,
They wanna have fu-un.
Oh,girls,
Just wanna have fun.

The phone rings in the middle of the night,
My father yells "What you gonna do with your life?"
Oh,daddy,dear,
You know you're still number one,
But girls,
They wanna have fu-un,
Oh,girls,just wanna have
That's all they really want.....
Some fun....

When the working day is done,
Oh,girls,
They wanna have fu-un,
Oh,girls,
Just wanna have fun....

Girls,
They want,
Wanna have fun.
Girls,
Wanna have

Some boys take a beautiful girl,
And hide her away from the rest of the world.
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun.
Oh,girls,
They wanna have fu-un.
Oh,girls,
Just wanna have
That's all they really want.....
Some fun....

When the working day is done,
Oh,girls,
They wanna have fu-un.
Oh,girls,
Just wanna have fun...

Girls,
They want,
Wanna have fun.
Girls,
Wanna have.

They just wanna,
They just wanna.....
They just wanna,
(Oh....)
They just wanna.....
(Girls just wanna have fun...)
Oh...

Girls just wanna have fu-un...
They just wanna,
They just wanna....
They just wanna,
They just wanna....
(Oh...)
They just wanna...
(They just wanna have fun...)
Girls just wanna have fu-un...

When the workin',
When the working day is done.
Oh,when the working day is done,
Oh,girls...
Girls,
Just wanna have fu-un...

They just wanna,
They just wanna....
They just wanna,
They just wanna have fun...

Girls just wanna have fu-un..
They just wanna,
They just wanna....
They just wanna,
They just wanna....
(Have fun..)

They just wanna,
(Girls wanna have fun)
They just wanna....
Oh,girls...
(Wanna have fun....)
Girls just wanna have fu-un.

When the workin',
When the working day is done.
Oh,when the working day is done,
Oh,girls,
Girls just wanna have fu-un.

They just wanna,
They just wanna....
(Oh,girls...)
They just wanna,
(Have fun....)
Oh,girls..
Girls just wanna have fu-un

They just wanna,
They just wanna...
When the working day is done...

SO BE THE ONE TO WALK IN THE SUN!

so CARPE DIEM and do it proudly!

as for my food, happy to say tummy is better today, I ate:

cheese puffs

ravioli

garlic bread

chicken breast

dill pickle......

that's all not very hungry and plenty sleepy so rest won out over my belly..............and y'all know that don't happen often! mayhaps I have won this war after all! lol