TiMoTHoLoGY: reflections in a murky stream: an Elvira party!

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, Plans Your Ghoulish Get-Together (EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW, RECIPES)

By Staff Report | Oct 24, 2014 01:15 PM EDT

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRISTOPHER AMERUOSO EXCLUSIVELY FOR HNGN (Photo : Christopher Ameruoso)

Elvira serves up her Ghoul Drool Soup. PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRISTOPHER AMERUOSO EXCLUSIVELY FOR HNGN (Photo : Christopher Ameruoso)

Elvira is the Queen of Halloween. PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRISTOPHER AMERUOSO EXCLUSIVELY FOR HNGN (Photo : Christopher Ameruoso)

Elvira prepares to cut the carrots for her Ghoul Drool Soup. (Photo : Christopher Ameruoso)

Who better to plan your Halloween party than Elvira, Mistress of the Dark?
Born Cassandra Peterson, Elvira is the Queen Halloween – and the self-proclaimed "Martha Stewart of the Macabre."
The Hollywood Vampiress is currently reprising her role as cleavage-baring and clever-witted hostess for Hulu's "13 Nights of Elvira," part of the streaming service's "Huluween."

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Elvira recently met up with photographer Christopher Ameruoso in Los Angeles for a hilarious interview and some party-planning tips – and shared with us her recipes for Strained Eyeballs, Ghoul-ade and Ghoul Drool Soup, which you can find below.
HNGN: Tell us what we have here.
ELVIRA: This is my scary sappy Halloween soup. One of my favorites always for Halloween. Of course we have our strained eyeballs for appetizers, a few zombies mixed in, and we also gave the Ghoul-ade, that can give that extra buzz on Halloween that we all need.
HNGN: Is scary sappy soup an old family recipe?
ELVIRA: It is an old family recipe that came way, way back from Transylvania from my old aunty, Anti Virus. And she gave you this when she wanted to give you the flu, as opposed to getting rid of the flu. But it's actually good for curing just about anything that you might get on a wild night out in Hollywood.
HNGN: Do you have many wild nights in Hollywood?
ELVIRA: Well yes, I'm afraid I do, but I don't think we have enough time to talk about all that right now. That's a whole other wild story.
HNGN: Well you have kept your incredible ghoulish Elvira figure.
ELVIRA: You're right. And I think it is probably due to this soup.
HNGN: So what are your measurements?
ELVIRA: I happen to be more than a handful, so my waist is about 24 inches, and 34 inches for my hips. I'm kind of shaped like a snake .
HNGN: So what else does Elvira do to keep her ghoulish figure?
ELVIRA: Every morning when I get up – this is very important – I do 50,000 of these chest pulls, ya know, to work that area. I'm sure you remember these from junior high, so I do 50,000 of those which takes quite a long time, actually it takes most of the day, and when I get done I'm tired, but I gotta say it keeps me in shape. Then I do quite a bit of exorcising at the gym; I like to go for the burn until my head spins around three times and then I'm done.
HNGN: So tell us about these strained eyeballs.
ELVIRA: Well these vainly strained eyeballs, these are absolutely delicious. You eat a couple of these and you'll never have to wear glasses. That's what I call four eyes. Well more than four, we have dozens of them here to eat.
HNGN: How do your neighbors and their kids react to Elvira?
ELVIRA: Well when they come knocking on the door on Halloween night, they pretty much react like AHHHHH! WHAT IS IT! (laughs) That's physically the reaction I get.
HNGN: What kinds of spooky treats do you give out to the trick or treaters?
ELVIRA: Spooky treats...Well, of course I give out my new Elvira Candies from the 99 cent store, that's fun. And I also like to give out... hmmm. Usually not very much (laughs). Mostly just my little candies.
HNGN: What do you think about these eyeballs?
ELVIRA: Well they are out of sight! It's so bad it's good. I'm sure you can see what I'm talking about. And again, these are very hard to come by.
HNGN: Does anyone ever get offended by any of the Halloween treats that you make?
ELVIRA: I think probably the only person that would have ever been offended would be Martha Stewart, because they're not perfect enough. I like to think of myself as the Martha Stewart of the Macabre. Kind of the Martha Stewart... Dead. And I actually make food that real living people actually can do also.
HNGN: Tell us about this green ghoul-ade drink?
ELVIRA: Mmm. Ghoul-ade. Well are you talking about the high-octane Ghoul-ade, or the one for the kids and that everyone can enjoy?
HNGN: Either or, whichever one.
ELVIRA: Well I like to use any high-octane alcoholic liquor beverage in the Ghoul-ade recipe, with of course some green food coloring. But all I can recommend is when you're around it, don't smoke!
HNGN: Do you consider this a magic potion?
ELVIRA: Oh I definitely consider this a magic potion, you drink a couple of these suckers, and it's definitely a magic potion for the romance department.
HNGN: Where does Elvira like to make appearances?
ELVIRA: I like to make appearances around Halloween, and pretty much anywhere they pay me.
HNGN: So how does one get you to appear at an event?
ELVIRA: A gold Visa card would be good!
HNGN: Tell us about your family, Elvira.
ELVIRA: Actually it was only my mom, my dad and myself. My mom of course was a very great sorceress from long, long ago. But then she unfortunately married a television critic, and I am the result.
HNGN: We know you live in Los Angeles, is there anywhere else you live part time.
ELVIRA: I live in Los Angeles and HELL part time. But sometimes Los Angeles is similar to hell, but I love both places.
HNGN: Do you always wear this much makeup?
ELVIRA: Makeup? I'm not wearing any makeup! Sorry I'm a natural beauty, this is just how I wake up looking in the morning, hair and all. Aqua Net. But you wrap it in toilet paper before you go to sleep and it stays perfect, not a hair moves. My outfit is actually right off the rack "Fredrick's of Transylvania," and it's polyester so you can just throw it in the washer, and of course it's black so it never gets dirty, I rarely wash it... I hope you can't tell. I have many of these outfits, and they all look exactly the same unfortunately, but I have a whole closet full of them.
HNGN: Does Elvira practice witchcraft?
ELVIRA: Why yes, I practice witchcraft all the time, unfortunately I've never gotten really good at it, but I do practice one hour a day whether I need it or not.
HNGN: What are the movies that you have appeared in?
ELVIRA: Well I of course starred in "Elvira, Mistress of the Dark," I've starred in my more recent movie "Elvira's Haunted Hills" which just came out two years ago, and you can find those both on DVD at Elvira.com. Don't forget! Also I've made an Imax movie called something in the third dimension, I don't even remember it was so long ago, and God knows how many other things I've been in.
HNGN: Who would be the ultimate guy you would cast a spell on?
ELVIRA: Well I don't know... maybe the guy over there taking the photo. Is that a camera or are you just happy to see me? (laughs)
Well until next time, unpleasant dreams!
ELVIRA'S RECIPES (Photographs by Christopher Ameruoso.)
Strained Eyeballs

(Photo : Christopher Ameruoso)
Elvira's Strained Eyeballs. PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRISTOPHER AMERUOSO EXCLUSIVELY FOR HNGN

6 eggs
1 (6 ounce) tub whipped cream cheese
1 (7 ounce) jar green olives with pimientos
Red food coloring
You'll need: Medium-sized sauce pan, sharp knife, teaspoon, toothpick
1. Place the eggs in a saucepan and cover them with cold water. Cook over heat until water begins to boil. Then turn the heat to low and simmer (low boil) for 10 minutes.
2. Place the cooked eggs in cold water. When they are cool enough to touch, crack the eggshells and roll them on a hard surface. Pell away the shells carefully and cut the eggs in half width.
3. Remove the yolks from the eggs and fill the empty holes with a mixture of the cream cheese and yolks.
4. Press an olive into each cream cheese eyeball, pimiento facing up, for an eerie green iris, and with the red food coloring, create veins and the eyeball.
Ghoul-ade with Blood Clots
Elvira

(Photo : Christopher Ameruoso)
Elvira's Ghoul-ade. PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRISTOPHER AMERUOSO EXCLUSIVELY FOR HNGN

1 (3 ounce package) cherry or strawberry gelatin dessert mix
10-12 lemons (or 2 cups lemon juice)
7 cups water
1 cup sugar
Green food coloring
You'll need: Small mixing bowl, pitcher, long-handled spoon, glasses.
1. Prepare a bowl of gelatin dessert according to the directions on the package. Chill in the freezer for 45 minutes or until completely set.
2. While the gelatin cools, squeeze the juice from the lemons into a pitcher. Be careful not to include any seeds. (Bottled lemon juice can be a substitute.)
3. Add the 7 cups of water to the lemon juice. Stir. Add the sugar and stir again.
4. Add green food coloring until Ghoul-ade is desired color.
Ghoul Drool Soup

Elvira

(Photo : Christopher Ameruoso)
Elvira's Ghoul Drool Soup. PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRISTOPHER AMERUOSO EXCLUSIVELY FOR HNGN

1 pound black beans
1 large onion
2 cloves garlic, diced
2 tablespoon A1 Steak Sauce
1 pound carrots, sliced into rounds.
Salt and cayenne pepper to taste. Cilantro for garnish (optional).
Rinse and soak beans for six hours or overnight.
Drain beans and empty into a large soup pot.
Add enough cold water to cover the beans by two to three inches. Bring to a boil and then skim off any foam that rises to the surface. Add garlic and onion. Lower heat and cook until onions are soft, about 15 minutes. Next, add A1, salt and cayenne pepper to taste. Cook for about one hour. Add carrots and continue cooking for another 30 minutes.
Garnish with cilantro, if desired, before serving.

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