AMOXICILLIAN

well I got in touch with my dentist and ruled out dry socket (thank goodness!) he thinks it's a low level infection so I'm on amoxicillian for the next 7 days. if it's not all better by Monday they want me to come in.............so fingers crossed and just waiting to see.
the gum actually feels a little better and not as "hot" and I'm only finished with day 1 so YEAH!
on the food side of it:
meatballs (2)
garlic bread (2)
nutter butter (1/2)
salsbury steak
canned biscuits
banana
oatmeal pie (little Debbie)
 no clue about my steps I forgot to reset it but BUSY night with a grocery order to put up.

today I want to give a shout out to some people who inspire/motivate me and give em a BIG ole thank ya kindly!
1.the unstoppable Richard Simmons
2.Aaron Star of hot nude yoga
3. Tara Costa
4.Dolphina of the Goddess Workout
5.Timothy l Martin..............yep that's right. I am one of my heros and I have done things I thought impossible, when I stopped using that horrid word and changed it to I'M POSSIBLE!

TIMOTHOLOGY UPDATE

well hopefully I turned a corner with the healing process, I only had to use the anbesol once all night and only took 1 aleve and I'm feelin pretty good, so for this morning I'm going to keep my yap shut let it rest , rinse with salty water every couple of hours, and do some Reiki, I should have been doing reiki all week but alas I have done it a couple of times. healers need to self heal way more than we do! lol
on a haha note I dropped into the dollar tree (a everything is $1store) to get snack stuff and found a joan rivers dvd so I grabbed it, now joan is an acquired taste but I've adored her as long as I can remember. imagine my surprise when I got home and it's 2 discs! I watched the 1st yesterday so i'll watch the other one today. then I'm taking some Benadryl so i'll have to sleep (it knocks me on my arse!) I intend to feel better gosh darn it!
on the food side.....
hamburger helper
chicken tenders
oreo cookie (yes just 1) lol
banana
banana nut muffin
1/2 bag bugles (sm bag of course!) I keep forgetting to list my steps so my steps were 15,217 , we have a music festival in dover the next four days (firefly) so it was super busy!


sometimes I need a reminder as to why I do this...

and by golly that fat bastard is reminder enough. I HATED myself then, I couldn't do anything without wheezing and feeling faint, my whole world revolved around feeding my fat face, and I was merely existing...................UGH!





this is me now and I LOVE me, I do stuff, I have friends, shoot I even did a 5k last year (gonna do one this year too!) now I LIVE!
and that's why i'll never give up even though I'm not doing a formal plan now I am doin protion control and I have maintained my weight between 208-209 pounds for several months now. I will eventually get back into high gear but I'm on a much needed diet-sabbatical that I don't regret at all.

tired

somebodys watching me anna waronker.............quirk and talent. somebody to keep an eye on she's gonna either be HUGE or a crazy cult chick , too soon to tell! 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iESmE6CgtIM


I am so very tired of bein tired! my gums are still healing but honestly it's been a week is that normal for having a tooth pulled? if it doesn't feel better I'm gonna have to call the dentist but here's the rub it was (after insurance ) $124 for the extraction , x-rays etc. anywho todays check is short about that much because I missed a day so I simply cant afford to go back in for a recheck. using aleve and anbesol, it is better than it was justnot that much and I haven't slept good since I had it done because I cant get comfortable.
 at least I can sorta eat normal foods at least semi-soft stuff. of course I want pork skins, and biscotti, and nuts oh my id' kill for cashews right now but if I damage the gum where it's healing or something were to get stuck in their I'd be in so much worse shape. I got banannas (potassium cant hurt) and honet carrots, and salsbury steaks and stuff like that so I can at least get some good nutrients in me.


yesterday I ate:
brownie
peanut butter
1/4 lb beef hot dog with cheese
cheeseburger slider (2 = 1 cheeseburger)
pigs in a blanket
carrots
banana muffin

FMM: lets get sporty

Friend Makin’ Mondays: Let’s get sporty

Posted on June 16, 2014 by SarahLou1976

Friend Makin’ Mondays

Welcome to another week of Friend Makin’ Mondays, hope you had a great weekend.
If you’ve taken part in FMM before then you are familiar with the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to read and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
I’ve been busy watching the World Cup so thought we would talk about Sports this week.

Getting ready to watch England v Italy

1. Are you following the World Cup? If so which team are cheering on?
nope not at all..............the only positive thing I can say about soccer is the guys are hot and like to get naked a LOT! lol
2. What is your favorite sport to watch either on TV or in person?
I'd rather watch paint dry on the wall at least it's pretty! so NONE!
3. Which local team (regardless of sport) do you support?
none could not possibly care less.
4. What is your favorite sport to play?
I HATE sports, jocks have always been cruel and vicious to me...............I suppose i'll say swimming at least in a non competitive way it's FUN!
5. Were you ever in a sports team?
God NO! openly gay in the south, thank goodness we didn't have dodgeball I'd have been the target
6. Have you ever traveled a long distance to see your team play?
I don't have a team so that's a BIG no!
7. Do you have a favorite stadium/sports venue you have been to?
I suppose the O-rena in Orlando (no idea what they're calling it now). I saw Tina so many times there
8. What is your favorite food you associate with sporting events?
I don't associate any food with sports I really do HATE sports, but I guess for most folks in America hot dogs are synonymous with baseball
9. Do you have a favorite sporting song?
we are the champions by Queen
the best by tina turner
10. Is there a sporting event you would like to go to in another country?
hmmmmmm I like sporty lads but couldn't care less about the actual sport. lol

Now it is your turn to go answer them on your blog and don’t forget to come back here and link up in the comments and go and share the FMM love with other readers.

Have a great day

Sarah xxx

wowsa this one I didn't have one good answer at all, as an openly gay man who was tormented by jocks all the way thru school I LOATHE sports! personally I think they should ban all sports in high school/college and focus on what you're supposed to be doing filling your head with knowledge................sorry if I'm a downer on this one y'all mayhaps I should have simply skipped it but you take the good with the bad and keep smiling! lol

we ARE young! an epiphany

y'all please watch these two videos it just showcases what the exact same thing bein said can be completely different due to perspective! LOVE both!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP_eI5T_deU
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgVXyV__FgE


                                                                         WE ARE YOUNG! no matter our age in our hearts and I'm glad I still feel like a child at 46. I don't wanna complain about anything today and I shant! I'm feelin better and getting there so BRAVO! it's a process and that's ok I'm glad to be able to live the process !



I was finally able to eat normal food with no issues! YEAH BABY!
ham biscuit
Stromboli with pepperoni, bacon, ham, and meatballs (1/2 i'll have the rest for lunch today)
ham sandwich
one of those tiny mini bags of doritos
handful of puffed corn
bowl of sugar pops no milk







yep, I did, I do, I shall, the world is my world I make it into what I want it to be and nothing and no one can stop me............why? because I control my DESTINY!



















it feels good to be so sure and positive , I cant tell you why but when I woke up it was simply different, I guess that's an epiphany! lol


An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, "manifestation, striking appearance") is an experience of sudden and striking realization. Generally the term is used to describe scientific breakthrough, religious or philosophical discoveries, but it can apply in any situation in which an enlightening realization allows a problem or situation to be understood from a new and deeper perspective. Epiphanies are studied by psychologists^[1][2] and other scholars, particularly those attempting to study the process of innovation.^[3][4][5]
Epiphanies are relatively rare occurrences and generally follow a process of significant thought about a problem. Often they are triggered by a new and key piece of information, but importantly, a depth of prior knowledge is required to allow the leap of understanding.^[3][4][6][7] Famous epiphanies include Archimedes's discovery of a method to determine the density of an object ("Eureka!") and Isaac Newton's realization that a falling apple and the orbiting moon are both pulled by the same force

a "proper" blog?

so committing to blogging every day for a year certainly didn't seem like such a daunting task on day 1, but alas 6 months later it is. I seem to run out of ideas/steam pretty often and feel like I'm cheating y'all and myself of a "proper" blog  with info, antecdotes, advice, inspiring crap and such ~giggle~  but alas I shall confess I'm just not 100% with the whole fitness thing right now and I am letting myself be distracted and impacted so much easier than I used to. part of it is I'm just busy and tired and part of it is that comingup with a topic every single day and putting a good quality "product" out there just aint happening. so I post these "mini" blogs just so I can meet my quota. UGH! makes me feel like a slave to the masses in some ways but this was something I choose freely and there's also something to be said for sticking with what you planned and meeting goals and obligations too!
it's funny there are other things I do EVERY single day and I LOVE it, like I post an artist of the day on my facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/timothylmartin and I thoroughly enjoy it, I actually just posted day/artist 223 and I NEVER tire of picking videos, finding new artists, hunting down obscure tracks , etc and I'm probably the only person who even watches em but I don't care it's fun......................so what can I do to make this blog fun again. mayhaps I need to pull my head out of the sand and focus on my wellness, but that doesn't sound "fun" does it?! lmao I shall simply one of these days wake up and pull myself out of 'funky-town" (not the cool disco one! lol) and get back to basics. I'm not sure when/why it became such a bore/chore but the only thing to do is DO IT! I know and understand that and my head keeps trying to convince my heart to join the party.......how do y'all keep health fresh and fun or blogging for that matter. mayhaps that's why I've seen so many I love simply fade away and never return.

 

 BIG sigh, enough introspection how about something fun!

I have hundreds but here are a few faves!
Dune, Fried Green Tomatoes, Charlies Angels, LOTR, Big Trouble In Little China, Labirynth, Willow, Romy and Michelles High School Reunion, Xanadu, Fire and Ice, Wolf, An American Werewolf in London..., Cant Stop the Music, Cursed, the Lost Boys, Golden Child, Last Dragon, Kung Fu Hustle, Kull, Rooster Cogburn, Independence Day, Big Jake, Harry Potter series, Clash of the Titans (original)

slow going

patience is NOT a virtue for me, it's a chore and a hardship that drives me nuts. but alas it tis what it tis! lol





and here we are, my poor jaw is still sore but it's localized now to the area the tooth came out of. work is still a bit rough mainly because I cant do ice packs or rinse with salt water every few hours as ordered and my job involves speaking for the whole shift so no down time for resting a weary jaw.
food is still an issue as nothing tastes good or chews easy. I ate...............
chef Boyardee beef ravioli
cashews ( a REAL challenge but GREAT as an anti-depressant and I could feel this getting to me)
bologna
sugar pops with milk
krispy kreme glazed
hot dog
I am HUNGRY and as soon as I finish this I shall go to the store (they open at 6am) I have nary a clue what I shall get but I just want comfort foods at this point.

ouch!

other than feeling like I've been kicked in the face by a mule I'm ok! lololol
I FINALLY managed to eat some food but nothing tastes good or at all so I'm craving SPICY food which is a no-no. I refused the pain meds (stupidly) because I just don't like how I feel when I take that stuff. I also only took one day off work which mayhaps was the bigger misfire. I went in solely because we had a truck come in well bending and lifting are when it hurts BAD! and I probably shouldn't be doin either  I know by the end of my shift ( I left 1/2 hour early) my swelling was worse and my ear was throbbing it hurt so bad. I got everything done for the most part sometimes I wistfully wish I could be one of those lazxy gad-abouts who feels no sense of responsibility or guilt but alas tis simply not in my nature. I CARE DAMN IT! lmao





I had :
Vienna sausage
Klondike caramel bites (YUCK NOT what I expected!)
chicken tenders
chef Boyardee ravioli
couple of slices of beef bologna
I'm supposed to be eating soft foods like yogurt, mashed potatoes, and applesauce but I DESPISE soft foods and would just as soon go hungry. it's a texture thing for me.



remember this the next time you compare yourself to another!

extraction

well I had my tooth pulled yesterday and it kinda sucks lol . actually I had a great dr and they squeezed me in so I'm very thankful. the pulling its-self was totally pain free. the bloody gauze was icky and not being able to drink thru a straw was horrid! I haven't NOT used a straw in probably 15 years. I always use one of those huge insulated cups so my ice stays frozen. I also wasn't really able to eat for most of the day and sleeping was difficult. I was gonna sleep in the recliner but of course (thnk you murphy!) we had company and guess where they're sleeping. lmao so I had to prop up 7 pillows in the corner of my bned against the wall and try to sleep but I kept sliding off and tasting blood when it would start to seep again. feelin good right now the ache has set in but I think I'm past the worst of it. I of course choose not to get a script for pain as I really don't like feelin loopy at all so I'm taking ibuprphen . as far as eating that's been a no-no as well and I'm not supposed to eat hot food for 24 hours so I made hamburger helper lasangna (one of my fave things!) and I'm letting it get cold while I do my morning social media updates.
so for today I ate:
hamburger helper
garlic bread
pulled pork bbq in a wrap
star crunch
that's all and I got no steps to speak of because it hurt to move a little bit.

darn it to heck

darn it to heck I had a filling fall out and take the back half of a tooth with it last night when I was brushing my teeth. now thank goodness here's no pain but it's making my poor tongue raw like hamburger and I cant chew on that side of my mouth. gotta check my dental plan and see if there are any Drs in the area. it's new insurance and I haven't used the dental yet. thankful though cause it could be so much worse.
I ate :
chicken tenders
krispy kreme glazed (1)
pulled pork bbq
that's it cause I'm trying to avoid food/drink on the damaged tooth as much as possible.

not giving up[

I'm starting to miss a regime which is something I NEVER thought I would I guess when you've been in the weight loss wars as long as me you just get bored and tired of always counting/journaling/thinking and so I stopped and I've enjoyed my time of freedom but I feel that's coming to an end and I'm gonna gear up for that FINAL battle. I probably have three days worth of food to use up (I'm not throwing it away) so I have that amount of time to pick a plan any plan just so I have some structure. most likely atkins as the carbs are bad for me even in moderation I can tell when I'm eating them I feel lethargic and off.

today was a crazy carb day!

medium thin crust pizza white sauce with chicken and bacon

garlic knots with garlic butter (16)

chicken alfredo............these 3 items were 1 meal (I told you CRAZY!)

pulled pork bbq sandwich (2)

peanut butter cookies (12)

Cheetos

fried chicken 8 piece ( 2 breasts, 2 thighs, 2 legs, 2 wings)

I haven't binged like that in ages and I can feel it my feet are starting to swell from all the sodium and my joints are getting achy. definitely gonna be an UGH so I'm gonna take some aleve and hopefully head off the worst of it at the pass. not sure what came over me but I was just in binge mode and took me a the better part of the day to take ahold of myself. it seems like a LOT but compared to the binges of old it's really not. an old school binge for me was insane...................large meat lovers pizza, chicken tenders, breadsticks, large bag of chips, king size baby ruth and of course wash it down with a 2litre DIET soda! and that was one sitting for supper then I'd go to hardees and get at least 6 meat biscuits for breakfast and do wendys for lunch plus several snacks in between. I'm guessing I used to put away around 4500  to 5000 calories a day easy.

whats done is done and I'm fine with it since I cant change it there's no point in fretting myself into an emotional state triggering another binge. I've simply grabbed my bootstraps and am yanking hard which is good keeps my hands full so I can't shovel more food down my gullet! the worst of it is I'm soooooooooooooooo darn sleepy but I simply need to stay up because I have to work at 10pm so I need to be awake overnight till at least 10am........................PPPFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT this is gonna be difficult! lolol cest le vie I did it to myself so I have to deal myself!

I shall never give up or throw in the towel but my oh my I wish he would!

DTF and FMM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4TB4UdDKBM
love me some adore Delano, the girl can SANG!

Friend Makin’ Mondays

Happy Monday everyone and welcome to another Friend Makin’ Mondays. This week’s questions come to you courtesy of Tyra at Random Acts of Snark. Thanks Tyra. If you want to help out with questions fee free to email me at sarah@losingweightandhavingfun.com
If you’ve taken part in FMM before then you are familiar with the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to read and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
Random Questions
1.What is your favorite way to waste time at work without getting caught?
I haven't any time to waste I stay busy, when I worked at Waldenbooks I loved to read during slow times.
2. What would be the title of your autobiography?
Becoming Mwah ( a tale of woe and triumph of the human spirit)
3. When you were at school, what did you want to be when you grew up?
a teacher but alas it wasn't meant to be, probably a good thing. I have taught metaphysical classes (reiki, shamanic drumming) and taught hiv prevention classes for the red cross and pre ged classes for adults. it just didn't take the form I imagined. as a gay man teaching small children would be fraught with risk as some people as so damn scared they think we're all pedophiles. (you can teach children anything but you'd have to be a surgeon to remove some folks heads from their ass! )
4. If you could invent a gadget, what would it be and why?
a mat that would shock guys at the urinal when it got wet (drunks have lousy aim!) oh and lest we forget the "ladies" a gun that shoots a 'head to toe shroud to cover up anyone who is wearing skeezy/slutty clothes (of ANY size. NOT picking on heavy girls here) cause I don't wanna be a gynecologist so I shouldn't have to see your ho-ha!
5. What is your favorite quote?
" I MUST NOT FEAR.FEAR IS THE MIND-KILLER" from Dune. I love it so much it's tattooed on my left arm.
6. What is the best meal you have every had?
hmmmmm tough one. there was a thai place in florida that had the most amazing teriyaki glazed salmon steak and sweet baby carrots, but there pad thai was also terrific. it would def be thai food!

7. If you could choose your age forever, what age would you choose and why?
25, I was a gym rat and had a bangin body!
8. What TV game show would you like to go on?
ok well I'm gonna age myself here as most have probably never heard of it but Match Game (they do a spoof version called snatch game on rupauls drag race)
9. If you had one day to live over again, what day would it be?
as far as a being happy transformative day my first firewalk, to change something the day my mama died so I could tell her don't get in that car!
10. You are planning the most awesome dinner party of your life. Which 3 celebrities/historical figures (past or present) would you add to you guest list?
Elvira Mistress of the Dark, Nicolas Tesla, David (the model who posed for davinci)

Thanks again Tyra for the great questions. Now it is your turn to go answer them on your blog and don’t forget to come back here and link up in the comments and go and share the FMM love with other readers.

Have a great day

Sarah xxx

FMM on a sunday (only a week late!)

Friend Makin Mondays

First off apologies for not posting last Monday, with it being Memorial Day I completely forgot. However I am back now and this week’s questions come from Stephanie over at Athlete At Heart. I would love to feature more questions from my readers, so feel free to send me a topic or list of questions and I will happily mention you when I post them. You can contact me at sarah@losingweightandhavingfun.com
If you’ve taken part in FMM before then you are familiar with the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to read and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
The Next
1. What is the next movie you want to see?
I'm actually going to see driving miss daisy starring angela landsbury and james earl jones. it was an Australian production and they filmed it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZvSbqAt9hk&feature=share
2. What is the next book you want to read?
the 16th Dresden files novel skin game came out this month and amazon FINALLY got it here (a week late, what was the point of preordering to get in on the release date if they didn't ship it till a week later???)

3. What is the next trip/vacation you are going to take?
I have nay a clue probably down south to visit my family in bama or my bestie who's in atlanta
4. What is the next restaurant you want to try?
well it's slim pickins here in dover mainly chains and such , the next one I'm eating at will be cheddars as I'm having lunch with a fried tomorrow

5. What is the next workout you are going to do?
I am bound and determined to get to my gym tonight after tarot group so that's the goal, a full circuit.
6. What is the next task you are going to complete?
working on creating my own tarotish deck. I have the blank cards so I need to make prototypes
7.What is the next hobby you want to try?
I've read tarot and such for 20 years but I want to delve into astrology, I have several LARGE books and some astro dice so now I just need time/motivation! lol
8. What is the next big event you will attend?
the annual Nanticoke powwow here in del or pagan pride not sure which comes first off the top of my head. I'd LOVE to go to the twin peaks festival or the teen wolf one but alas I'm all outta vaca time and funds! lol
9. What type of animal do you want as your next pet?
I grew up with dogs so I have always had dogs unfortunately I developed an allergy last year and had to get rid of my Divonna (Chihuahua) I'm not really a cat person right now I have a spider, scorpion, and a fish (a feeder fish that survived the crab that craoked) mayhaps a turtle but I'm not sure.

10. What is the next topic you would like to see on Friend Makin Mondays?
dealing with daily 'fat" issues, like mayhaps clothes, resturants, etc etc
I am excited to see you answers for this one
Now it is your turn to answer the questions, don’t forget to come back here and link your answers in the comments below, and also go and check out other peoples answers on their blogs too.
Have a great day
Sarah xxx

steps/food

12,213 steps and my poor tootsies are feelin every one! lol
BUSY BUSY BUSY night at work but we made it and thats' all that matters.
I ate:
chicken tenders (5)
potato wedges (3 tiny ones, I HATE the big ones)
garlic chips
ham biscuit
chili no beans
saltines
payday
boston cream donut
high in carbs today and I can tell I'm fading fast!

back to work

heigh ho heigh ho ....................
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCJjJJRHA48
back to work OH NO! lol
I don't need a degree in dream interpretation to understand the one I had tonight!................
I was at work but it was covered in dust/vines the others took off and left me with a HUGE line of people before I even counted in my register the people were angry and rushing me. I was having to pull vines away from the register to even get to it and the counter and the till was full of dust/grime so I was having to dig the money out to even count it.........................yep it's the 1st night back from vaca and murphy has targeted my ass I'm pretty sure! LMAO that's ok buddy I'm ready for you bring it on!!!
it was bad but I was all geared up so I dealt with it fine and I work tonight and sat and then I'm off for 2 days so not too shabby!
food wise ok..............
garlic cheesy bread chips
pigs in a blanket (a BIG weakness LOVE em!)
chicken tenders (5 small)
2 sausage biscuits
unfrosted blueberry pop tart (1)
I got 10, 066 steps so I did my daily (barely) lol
went and saw a million ways to die in the west and I enjoyed it. definitely a guy movie, unless you're a bawdy broad (think jenny macarthy on mtv) it's so dumb it's funny. I took Xavier and johnny (his best friend) who are 16 and 18 so perfect F'd up flick for them!

vaca over

well the vaca is over so it's back to the "real" world. so I gassed up the car, laundry is in the dryer, alarm clock is set. BIG sigh, this week went so fast! lolol don't they always! I actually had a great time and for those not keeping up here's the cliff note version...........went to 3 movies 1. maleficent (magnificent) 2. Godzilla (he's back!) , 3. a million ways to die in the west (lmao)
had a cook out for my bday (burgers, chicken breast, hot dogs)
watched the 1st 2 seasons of the love boat (LOVE this show) as a side note I have to contract amazon and return it one episode stuck and the 1st disc of season 2 wouldn't load.
went to cheddars for dinner
the only thing I didn't accomplish was reading the latest Dresden book amazon is apparently having issues as their deliver time sucks as of late. you'd think that raising the price of free delivery to $35 they'd be on top of it. I pre-ordered the book so It'd get it LAST Tuesday and according to them it'll be delivered today................my review of this transaction will be SCATHING! lol

sometimes genetics mean I have to work twice as hard as everyone else, so I decided on twice the inspiration!

Godzilla!

well so much for belly dancing yesterday. I fell asleep and woke up just in time to take Damien to see Godzilla as promised (there are 3 kids in my house and I take great pains to show NO favoritism at all!) I took Sabrina to cheddars , so Damien to Godzilla, and tonight I'm taking Xavier to see a million ways to die in the west.
today is the last (SOB) day of my vaca so yesterday I was kinda boke (check dropped at midnight tues) so I snuck soda/snacks in in my bag. lol
well gets to the food portion now:
oatmeal pie
soft taco (beef, cheese, sour cream ) 3
hamburger on English muffin  4 (two in morning and 2 last night)
handful (literally) bbq chips
I haven't been getting many steps since I'm not working but I did park at the very far end of the mall and walk to the theatre to get some extra in...............ok it was an accident but damn it I took the steps so I'm taking credit BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

shedding the fat suit one pound at a time!

1 pound at a time

one pound at a time seems so slow and frustrating but one pound IS one pound so hang on and hang in! I know I'm gonna get there eventually even though I wanna be thin the day before yesterday as I have no natural patience. but ya know what ...I didn't get fat overnight and I'm not gonna get healthy that quickly either. that being said the goal is to be healthier today than I was yesterday. to make good choices in the now without mourning the past and letting those I already fucked up I might as well just go whole hog feelings take control.
emotions are a tricky thing and in the weight loss wars emotional eating is a subject fraught with danger and pittfalls. we all recognize it cause we've all been there done that multiple times............but it's something no one wants to hear from well meaning thin friends (or heavy ones) taking yourself out of that emotion is difficult, who am I kidding it's well neigh impossible when your in it's grip. it's afterward when we're dealing with the tummyache, swollen joints, diahreah, brain fog, etc etc that we moan why did I do this to myself? for me subconsciously I used to make my body feel as bad as my soul. I thought I needed to suffer and man oh man did I cause myself to suffer. I don't do that as much now. but on occasion my eyes are much larger than my stomach and I end up paying. like yesterday I didn't think I ate too much, slightly more than normal but I woke up with the worst heartburn it took 2 hours of burping/farting to get rid of all that gas. apparently some spices don't agree with me anymore because I don't eat them often since I strive to eat natural healthy foods within my screwed up palate of course! LMAO
I ate:
sm slice of chocolate cake with coconut icing
5 soft beef tacos with cheese and sour cream (tiny amounts of both and these were the tiny saucer size shells)
chicken breast
2 tomato slices
sm bag bbq chips
chocolate chip cookies (2 deli size)
then I went out to cheddars........Caesar salad (1/2 I shared), 1/2 croissant with honey butter, 5 French fries and a dinner portion of cornmeal crusted fried catfish.
even though I ate the tacos earlier it was them I was tasting/feeling later! I simply cant eat this much anymore so I'm gonna have to be aware of that. apparently like a cows stomach everything ferments in me and turns to gas! NOT fun or funny!
I have pulled out my Goddess Workout and am going to shimmy this new day into existence!

my eat anything days.................

well I continue to surprise myself while I'm allowed to eat anything and everything I want..............
handful of Cheetos
bacon cheeseburger (with bun)
chicken breast
donut
payday (king size)
toffee cookies
soft tacos (beef, cheese, sour cream ...3)
that's it for the day I just totally wasn't hungry I ate till I was full and then stopped. now I know I need to start focusing on the quality of what I eat but hey I actually am at 208 this week so my body is FINALLY letting me know when it's satiated and that's a wonderful thing (I NEVER thought would happen)
I am on vaca this week and I'm eating less because I don't eat so much overnight. apparently whilst working I stress eat lmao  so I need to shield myself better energetically at work and start packing healthy lunches again.
the plan was to work out extra this week but that hasn't happened I've been stationary for days now! of course it was race weekend (I live in dover de so if you saw the dover 500 that's right down the street) and there are gazillions of nassholes converged on us . locals leave or stay home as I did!
they should be all gone this morning then it will be safe to venture forth again (my gym is on the other side of the track from me)
it's been a lovely few days relaxing that seldom happens for me so I feel no guilt at all...........
I really need to decide what weight I want to be cause I've got a 20 pound window from chart to chart
if I go down to their recommended sizei'll look like I'm starving, I'd rather look healthy. here's a great meme of Christian bale for comparison, myself I vote for his reign of fire size it looks PERFECTly yummy! at my recommended I'd look like his machinist size!

cook out

the 2nd day of my bday celebraton continued with a BIG cookout. it was great lots of food and friends too.
I ate:
pork steak
chicken breast
cheeseburger with bacon and bbq sauce
donut (1)
handful of popcorn
ramen noodles with parm.
tiny slice of chocolate cake with coconut frosting (not even th size of a post-it)