A CRAZY CHALLENGE OR PROOF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING

OK A FRIEND OF MINE HAS SAID SHE'S GOING TO BLOG EVERY DAY FOR THE NEXT YEAR STARTING TOMORROW, I SAID YOU'RE NUTS BUT IS SHE OR AM I SELLING MYSELF SHORT? IT GOT ME THINKING I USED TO BLOG ALL THE TIME THEN I GOT BURNED OUT/BORED/UPSET BLAH BLAH BLAH AND IT BECAME A CHORE. BUT THAT WAS THE "OLD" BLOG THIS IS THE NEW BLOG SO WHY THE HELL NOT?
REALISTICALLY THEY WONT BE ALL IN DEPTH LONG WINDED TOMES FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY WISDOM I MAY SIMPLY POST MY FOOD JOUNAL, OR A PIC OR VIDEO BUT EVERYTHING COUNTS.................(ACK MY POP MODERN BRAIN, IT ONLY TAKES A COUPLE OF WORDS AND I'M STUCK ON A SONG!)

EVERYTHING COUNTS BY DEPECHE MODE......................ANYWHO LOLOL
I THINK I'M GONNA DO IT TOO, THANKS JANET! AND IF Y'ALL HAVENT CHECKED OUT JANET BOYER AND THE TAROT BITCHES ON FACEBOOK AND BLOG TALK RADIO THEY'RE A HOOT I HIGHLY SUGGEST THEN FOR SOME GOOD INSIGHTS AND A BELLY LAUGH OR TWO!
LORD OH LORD WHAT HAVE I COMMITTED TO NOW? LMAO GET READY CAUSE THE YEAR OF MWAH STARTS TOMORROW!

BEST LAID PLANS..........

well y'all know what they say about the best laid plans! lolol I'm still maintaining and doin good with my water (drank a gallon today) and 4 quarts of crystal light tea.
my eating is sporadic at best I simply don't have time to eat three meals a day and cooking has been out of the question time-wise add to that the imminent demise of our fridge (the darn things only 3 years old and cost a bloody fortune!) and I've been subsiding on snack foods...........crackers, pepperoni, pigs in a blanket, chips, etc etc. the closest ive come to cooking is this morning ramen noodles with a can of chicken breast .....
still I've maintained and not blown up so I'm fine with that for now. I'm on vaca starting jan 2 so I'm shooting for a week I can pretty much do anything I want as bein a great jumpin off place for a healthier life in general. that's really all at this point ive been workin like a dog and not sleepin well so I'm gosh darn exhausted but I KNOW this too shall pass! I got 19,062 steps last night that's almost double my 10,000 goal so my dogs is barkin right now. doin laundry, watchin a bit of boob tube and turnin in early is the plan...............lets see if life co-operates!

I have this song soooo stuck in my head. the weather girls were spectacular and I adored them , if the name doesn't ring a bell their big song was ................IT'S RAINING MEN

they were also sylvesters backup singers, yep the ones tearin up dance disco heat!

y'all have a spectacular day and WORK OUT now that I got your blood boiling, heart thumpin, and ass shakin!

the aftermath

well Christmas and it's frenzy of holiday treats and parties may be over but we have new years to contend with, which honestly is no biggie for me I do not drink at all, never really have. I tasted a beer at 4 and that was enough of that horse piss, and I tried a sip of a rum and coke YUCK, a sip of champagne to toast the new year and a swig of vodka I G'd like a girl according to my female cousin! lol oh yeah and a sip of a mimosa because my room-mate guilted me into toasting his birthday, most disgusting thing I ever put in my mouth!
as for Christmas it was lovely I got some awesome stuff I didn't expect, a set of 5 les homees posters from firefly, that's a poster for each gut that are awesome! a firefly book collectors edition, a couple of movies, the fablehaven series box set (cant wait to read em) and the tarot in the land of mystereum set, which is amazing. Jordan haggard who created them was a guest on the tarot talk radio blog I co-host and he's ver so cool. I posted I got em and FB and he replied he was excited to hear my take on the cards. very cool indeed that someone I respect values my opinion about tarot.
I also got a stocking FILLED with baby ruths and paydays (the only candy bars I ever liked) I admit I've eaten a couple but am gonna share the wealth at work tonight so they vanish quickly. I was actually far more excited about the pigs in a blanket which I've always loved. I ate what I want but did not eat till that over-stuffed misery I usually do so I'm saying the day was a success in all ways!
hope y'all made it through the frenzy safe and sound, and even if you destroyed your plan and ate to excess/misery it's only a day or mayhaps a week if you've been in full blown holiday furor. that's ok today is a new day clean out that fridge take all those yummy goodies and give them to the office, the neighbors, the skinny bitch you hate! lmao just rid yourself of the temptation and start anew no guilt no worries.
I HIGHLY recommend NOT waiting till january 1st to start over as we ll know new years resolutions fail, so don't start a plan with a mark already against you I'm starting mine over on the 28th because I'm off that night and it's easier to begin when I'm on my own turf.
I do want to share a chuckle with y'all I posted about my tarot cards on my fb tarot page www.facebook.com/timothystarot/  and I said I was gonna delve into it after my turkey induced nappy poo..................well a friend from new Zealand was completely confounded. she thought I was gonna take a crap in my pants apparently a nappy is a dirty diaper over there! lol  we talked it out but lemme tell ya regional dialect is a hoot, they also don't use erasers on their pencils they use rubbers! LMAO
that's all for now y'all have a beautiful day xoxoxoxo

this is another Christmas present a lovely soooooooooooooo soft throw! and that is what my hair does if I braid it! lmao
 

merry christmas y'all!

merry Christmas y'all or yule or any other ole thing you celebrate. It irks me to no end when people get mad at happy holidays, whenever someone wishes you a blessing in whatever form accept it graciously! I'm southern so I was taught good manners but some people get downright hostile. at work I wish someone merry Christmas if they say it first because people get offended (not everyone is Christian) by the same token many Christians get offended at happy holidays, blessed yule etc etc GROW UP and get with the multi-cultural world we live in. smile and say you too or wish them whatever you celebrate but return the gretting with a BIG smile even if you have to grit your teeth!
I celebrate everything myself, I was raised Christian but have studied most of the worlds religions and find there is more common ground that most people realize. so play nice in the universal sandbox everyone!
I work tonight and get off at 5am so I get to come home and do presents then I'm actually off Christmas night so I can actually be at home for once YIPPIE!

on the health/weight front I'm holding at 211 and still just doin moderation, I am gonna eat whatever I want for Christmas in moderation! we'll see how that goes! lololol

y'all have yourselves a blessed holiday and hope you get lotsa goodies under the tree! I love you guys and thnks for hangin in with me through all the ups and downs we'll see ya later! xoxoxoxo
 

two of staves

todays fellowship of the fool card is the TWO of STAVES:
this is all about the foundation, you've put in the work and now there are choices to be made based upon the wisdom you have gained on the journey thusfar. this is where you stand at ...this moment in your life.
is this where you want, what you planned? are you willing to settle for the known or does the unknown call to you?
there is ALWAYS more than one option , you alone have the power to direct your will so chose wisely! 

 

 

 

where i'm at

I'm in a pretty good space right now, not a gung-ho kill it space I'd like to be in but a maintain even-keel calm space which is fine till after Christmas.
I'm still struggling with getting back up to that gallon of water I drank 64 oz plus 3 quarts of crystal light tea.
I ate
pecan pie (scooped off pecans but skipped crust.)
ritz crakers chicken breast
meatball sub
doritos
that's it way too busy running around to eat and work was insane, but I wasn't really hungry.
I also got in 17,707 steps (told ya I was busy!)
I'm officially done with Christmas now I just want it to be over~
I have been watching my fave Christmas movie repeatedly this week and I do so enjoy it!

a diva's Christmas carol starring Vanessa Williams!
Vanessa really does have one of the best voices for Christmas songs!

the other person would be dolly parton who simply exudes Christmas joy............

I also adored dollys Christmas movie "smoky mountain Christmas"
y'all have yourselves a WONDERFUL sunday! xoxoxoxoxo

a cheat

shhhhhhhhhhh don't tell anybody I'm cheating! ..............................
oh not on the diet on the blog I really wanted to write something today but alas the holiday frenzy got in my way so I'm reposting one form my timothology blog! lol
fmm food matters

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Food Matters

1. Are you familiar with GMO’s?  Is it an issue that matters to you?  YES! Monsanto are the real evil in America right now and unfortunately Obama revealed his true nature by signing the Monsanto act which cuts the American consumer off at the knees in terms of responsibility for our welfare. we cant force them off the market or sue thm even if/when their poison kills/maims us.
2.  List a few items that are typically on your grocery list.  salmon, chicken, romaine, dill relish, shrimp, hamburger meat
3.  What is your favorite place to shop for produce?  not gonna lie, I eat very FEW vegetables I don't like the taste and if I eat too many I get gas and bloat so I usually buy what little I consume at redners or wal mart
4. Do you eat processed foods?  when i'm time crunched which happens more than i'd like
5.  Do you look for the “organic” label when you shop?   no honestly I cant afford organic
6. What did you eat for breakfast this morning?  hamburger helper lolol I work 3rd shift so I exist in opposite world!
7.  How many meals per week do you cook at home?  almost all of them
8. Do you think that foods that have been genetically engineered should be labeled? YES! GMO's ARE POISON AND HARMFUL TO LIFE!
9. What matters most to you when you’re choosing a restaurant?  quality and price
10.  What is your favorite meal to cook at home?  salmon steaks with baby carrots and a cesear salad

i want you to want me

fell asleep in my bean bag and awoke to hearin this and how appropriate cause I do! that's why I switched over to this blog to feed my need for attention! LMAO
havin a darn good week, got my Christmas shopping done other than a couple of gift cards and I got stuff that I KNOW everyone will love!  it has taken me a while to get into the Christmas spirit but I'm finally there!

so I'm the ghost of chrsitmas________________________
 

 

eat your veggies y'all!

on the food front I'm starting to enjoy the taste of food again but I'm NOT overeating my body is not letting me if I try I get queasy and  that's no fun.

I ate hamburgers on English muffins with mozzarella and garlic with a side of scalloped potatoes with bacon

oatmeal cookies

a handful of Cheetos crunchy

apple

peanut butter (one tablespoon)

I drank 5 quarts of tea and 5 cups of water

I was running running running around all day so I got 22864 steps and my poor dogs are barking!

I didn't do any "official" exercise but I was definitely mobile so it's all good.

luckily this year I'm finding it easy to keep motivated despite all the holiday temptations and I have no idea why I don't know how it's different other than my head is simply in the zone. so I'm goin with it!

just a little sumpin sumpin toget ya movin!

 

 

 

NOT a diet blog it's a pretty poison blog today in honor of christmas cookies!

This week I want to do something different.  Instead of asking lots of questions, I’d love to exchange tasty holiday recipes.  If you’re not savvy in the kitchen, share something (or a few things) that you’d want to eat.

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Share Your Favorite Holiday Recipe

Wilton Roll-Out Sugar Cookies
1/2 c. butter
1 c. sugar
1 egg
1 3/4 c. flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tbsn. milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/4 tsp. salt
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream butter and sugar then add egg and mix. Add remaining ingredients and mix until smooth. Refrigerate dough for at least 2 hours (I prefer four or more hours.)
Roll out the dough about 1/8 in. thick on lightly floured surface, dip cutters in flour before each use. Place cookies on ungreased cookie sheet and bake for 12 – 15 minutes until golden. Place on cooling rack for 5 minutes before removing from sheet then cool completely. Makes 24-30 cookies. Ice as desired.
Note:  I usually lay out foil all over the counter so when I’m done with the flour and stuff, all I have to do it carefully roll up the foil so I don’t have a huge mess.  I also usually double this recipe when I’m making it.  I don’t do that with many recipes, but it’s fine for this one.
Shiny Royal Icing
1/4 c warm water
1 tbsp light corn syrup
3 c powdered sugar (more, if needed)
Stir warm water, corn syrup, and almond extract together in a small bowl until corn syrup and extract have dissolved. Place confectioners’ sugar into a separate bowl and add liquid ingredients. Beat with an electric mixer on low speed until royal icing is smooth.
Note:  If you want to outline the cookies (which I highly recommend even though I didn’t do it with these) just add powdered sugar until it’s thick enough to firm up nicely.  I usually just eyeball that.  Let it dry a little before flooding (filling in) the cookie.



Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s question!  Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments!  Happy Monday!


now I don't do sweets per se but these looked adorable so here it is..................

MELTED SNOWMAN COOKIES
From Sara My Imperfect Kitchen

You’ll need:

1 package of Betty Crocker’s Sugar Cookie Mix OR substitute your family favorite!
10 large marshmallows
Cookie Icing, decorating tips, and your imagination! You can use Betty Crocker Cookie Icing or make your own. You’ll need Black, Red, Green, Blue and Red! I also used mini orange M&M’s for the noses, instead of mixing a tiny bit of orange for carrot noses.

See, simple and easy! Would I lie to you?

Mix the cookie mix (does that sound weird to anyone else?) together, then take a small chunk (about the size of a golf ball) and flatten to about 1/4″-1/2″ depending on how thick you like your cookies. Remember, they are supposed to be melted snowmen so the more irregular the shapes, the better! Isn’t that just perfect for My Imperfect Kitchen? I think I love these cookies even more now! :-)

Bake the cookies according to the package directions. Pull them out when they’re done and let them cool on a rack. When they are cool, ice the cookies with the back of a spoon and let some of the icing drip over the edge for that melting effect!

Spray a microwave safe plate with cooking spray and put the marshmallows on it. Cook on high for approx 20 seconds. Watch the marshmallows carefully though, you don’t want to let them get too fluffy! Spray your hand with the cooking spray (Great tip!) and pull the marshmallows carefully off the plate and set them on the frosted cookies.

Some of my marshmallows fell over, but I just left them that way! It gives my cookies character. HA!

Start decorating! I found it easier to do the arms and faces first, then add the rest of the details.

Aren’t they cute?

Ahhhh… I’m melting….

What? It’s going to get how hot?

Hello!

All together now!

I love these cookies! The only thing I would have changed, is my icing recipe. I didn’t have clear vanilla extract, so my cookies aren’t as bright white as they should have been. It would have made them even more adorable! When you do yours, get the clear vanilla extract or use white cookie icing!

My simple icing recipe is:

1 cup powdered sugar
4 tsp milk
1 tsp clear vanilla extract (I used my homemade vanilla and the icing was just a little off-color.)
1 TBLS Light Corn Syrup

Stir until smooth and ice your cookies!

You really should try these! They are fun to make and fun to eat too! I had a blast making them and will probably be making them again before the season is over. Make these as a family project on a cold night and you’ve got a perfectly sweet evening! Enjoy!

and thanks to SARA at my inperfect kitchen for this FAB recipe make sure you check out her link above!

how to handle CRAZY/BUSY

so how do y'all handle crazy/busy? for me it's an issue. my mundane job is at a c-store and we're known for our chicken. now I'm not about to have time to eat a big honkin breast at work but I do occasionally get the tenders and wedges. BAD BAD BAD just as an example 3 tender and wedges is 15 ww points! (if you skip the roll)
I went to hardees yesterday and couldn't eat my breakfast , I had 1 steak biscuit so I took the other 2 to work with me last night (yes I got 3) I pulled off the crust of the biscuit all the way around (probably 1/3 of the biscuit) and it took me literally 6 hours to nibble my way through them. no condiments either! not good but not too darn bad either. I also drank water which is FINALLY starting to taste normal again. I had 6 glasses while at work, and one glass of lemonade.
I simply was running late and didn't have time to pack a decent lunch and I was by myself so it was all I could do to take a nibble here and there.
work is the final frontier for me and bein bad because I simply don't get breaks I get working breaks which means I have to eat something easy and easily chewed because the very second I take a big bite the phone rings or a customer walks in (murphy apparently dislikes me!) lol
after the holidays when it settles I'm gonna go to sams and buy some bite size nut packages, and granola type bars and see how that works. (they make low carb ones) I finally got my bills from the hospital after insurance I owe them 249, and I owe the eye dr $206 , I know it doesn't seem like much but that's 2 weeks salary for me. so while I'm happy the insurance paid half it's still a financial hit when I still have most of my gifts to buy.
I cut back at work to focus on my tarot but this is the SLOWEST time of year because of the holidays. now jan/feb will BUSY because lots of folks but gift certificates for Christmas presents. I work for a shop so I don't get paid till the reading is done. so I jut gotta make it through and all will be well. I did decide not to do holiday cards this year which is kinda a bummer but I have a HUGE family and I cant pick and choose it's an all or nothing kinda thing so instead of spending $40 on postage I'm just gonna send an email and facebook post that gets about half of em.
and don't let my VENTING fool y'all I'm actually starting to feel pretty gosh darn festive! I've just found it's better to spit it out than to hold it in for the long term so that is what I.m doin!

 

a plan is better than none

having been a long time solider in the battle of the buldge I know how easy it is to get off track and how many times I've had to start over. it sucks but alas it is what it is a small battle in the war that I shall win and so shall you if you just keep trying. now I know there are 10 million diets out there. I suggest doing research and finding one that works for you. atkins works for me and I do great on it physically an mentally cause I'm a BIG ole carnivore. if you're a vegetarian it's not gonna work long time as it would be too limiting. paleo might work for you, or the 30 foods. don't just decide because so and so recommends it to throw yourself headlong into it without doin the research first. it gets expensive and discouraging too.
lots of folks I know do great on jenny craig, nutra system and the like but that's also expensive and I don't like prepackaged meals. it leaves me with no control of ingredients (I wont eat onions, mushrooms, olives, peppers) and way too many have stuff that makes me gag. lol
weight watchers is a viable option for many I tried it TWICE I lost weight short term and I LOVED the meetings but the food was simply too carb loaded it started triggering cravings/binges for me after about 3 weeks both times. that being said it's also an expense $40 a month to attend meetings $20ish for online (I see no point in online the meetings are the selling point for me) I stoped goin to meetings but continued to pay the money for 5 months (DUMB!)
lots of folks do online tracking and if that works for you go for it, it cant hurt to try. there are also tons of weight-loss groups to join. I found it like pulling teeth to get people to participate so I opted out for my own sanity. but your experience is yours if you don't try you'll never know.
whatever you decide to do, DO SOMETHING! if it's an actual plan or one you make up. just make sure water is a BIG part of it ..............and I hate water but I have learned to tolerate it because it helps me to lose weight and keep it off. same with exercise I HATE it but not as much as I HATE/LOATHE/DESPISE being fat. it's a trade off you make your body healthy so you can enjoy it and you do what you gotta do.
if you like numbers counting calories, fat, or carbs may work for you.............I can recommend the calorie king fat/carb book as a GREAT resource. you can get it at most bookstores or amazon it comes out yearly so the new ne should be out soon. they also have a great website www.calorieking.com
I'm gonna spill the proverbial beans here and admit today the food won but I shall not waste my whole day I'm gonna pull myself up by those threadbare bootstraps and get right back on the weight-loss train!
I ate
pecan pie
spaghetti
garlic bread
garlic chips
steak biscuit
I did however skip the tasty cake and I drank 4 quarts of crystal light and 1/2 gallon of water.
I also got in 14,289 steps and did yoga for about 20 minutes

exercise aka put down the remote and MOVE!

todays post is NOT gonna be fun at least not at first. yep you got it exercise aka put down the remote and move. and I'm not gonna lie I need to work on this one myself. I haven't been to the gym in over a month and yes I had a health issue but that is merely an excuse. and I should also say "reasons" are also excuses cause unless you're in a full body cast and traction you can do SOMETHING. so my opinion of reasons (yours and mine) are that they're merely excuses wrapped and tied up with a bow, they may "look" better than excuses and make you feel better about lying to yourself but it's all a load of hooey!
if you're fat (I'm NOT pc you shall not see terms like weight challenged or the like here) then you are probably a complete stranger to exercise and to be honest when I was 300 pounds I was embarresed to go to the gym that part hurt worse than the huffing and puffing for a minute on the treadmill thinking I was gonna dye. and I KNEW in my head I was bein judged but guess what I was the one doin the most evil mind games to myself. my doubt defeated me so many times but I just kept goin back and eventually I stopped caring. those little successes built my self confidence bit by bit until I became comfortable in the gym (and my own skin)
I will say some of those gym "bunnies" are as silly as a drunken rabbit. I mean come on I used to watch them come in their tiny leotards with dental floss up their butt and full war paint and they'd take the elevator to the second floor to get on the stairmaster! LMAO seriously?  and if they can be that person you can be the person changing their life and empowering yourself. don't worry about what others may think or even God forbid say (cause there is cattiness in humans) just strive on being better today thn you were yesterday. ideally you should do some form of workout 6 times a week but alas the real world sometimes gets in the way which is ok (unless you're sitiin on your butt watching it on mtv instead of working out lol) I strive for 5 times a week and usually get there at least 3 times. the trick is to find a time that works for you and a gym that meets your needs. I cant afford to spend hundreds of dollars on a gym but I found a large gym with 24 hour access that has tons of machines and it's only $19.99 a month (12.99 if you only want open-hour access) I gave up some of the frills to use this gym (no hot tub :(  ) but it meets my actual needs. I KNOW me I'm not getting up early and working out as I have a physically demanding job (standing 8 plus hours, cleaning, stocking waiting on customers etc) and it would make me tired before work. plus I don't like showering at the gym as I'm VERY picky about my toiletries and dragging a ton of crap to the gym seems pointless. so I take my gym bag to work with me and I change at work and go straight to the gym that way I don't need to take a bag in with me get a locker etc etc I walk right in and get on the treadmill and start moving.
also bein older I generally HATE the music they play and watching tv does not make me wanna move so I bring my mp3 player and wear headphones while I work out. my "jams" make me wanna move as it's dance music from the 70s-90s and you better believe I shake it while I work it too! lolol
and that's back to that so what if I look dumb to others I'm turning what I used to hate (working out) into a fun activity that is also good for me. part of that philosophy is one I adopted from the late great Coco Chanel..................

now that's some good old fashioned advice we all need to listen to!

now I understand that not everyone has access to a gym or the funds to afford one but that's ok theres still plenty of ways you can work out. almost everyone has a dvd player and there are tons of exercise tapes available on everything from yoga to pilates and zumba. and they cost money too but guess what the library has them for FREE. so dust off that library card and use it that way you can try a variety and find what you enjoy. there are also TONS of health and fitness videos on youtube and 90% of us have computers in the home these days. you can also get exercise books though personally I enjoy reading them but trying to do a workout based on one flummoxes me as I just cant seem to remember long enough from page to practice so it takes me forever and I never get to build up a sweat. for y'all though it might work. never be afraid to try something different or adapt a move to suit your physical limitations (bearing safety in mind of course) I have a bum knee that surgery left wonky. if I'm not careful it'll pop right out of joint which is NOT fun and dangerous. so I cant do the olliptical machines as it's bening that tweaks it but the treadmill I can go for days! same for yoga I LOVE yoga but I cant sit lotus or bend in many of the ways the instructors do so I merely do my own thing. also a trick I've found if I find a move I cant do is to run in place whilst that move is happening that way my heart-rate stays elevated. lets see I think i'll share some of my fave vids to give y'all an idea....................................................

 

 I ADORE the Goddess Workout with Dolphina. it's great for all levels of fitness and bellydancng is FUN! oh and big girls and guys can sooooo dothis. it's empowering!

Hemalayaa Bollywood dance workout is a HOOT! she's so funny and if y'all are familiar Bollywood is a fun fun fun mix of music and moves.

the biggest loser of course has bunches of vids
I also love yoga personally I do Aaron Star's Hot Nude Yoga but sorry not posting that link don't wanna get "tagged"  again on my 3rd day! lololol
then there is the one who put tapes on the market y'all know I'm talkin about Richard Simmons , his sweatin to the oldies dvds are now available plus he did a new 5th one. you can get em from his website, walmart, fye. I was soooooooooooo very thrilled when these finally cme out my vhs copy had so many lines goin through it no amount of adjusting the tracking helped. lolol

and I'm gonna be brutally honest here when I was at my heaviest I got these I was over 300 pounds and I couldn't do anything physical but what got me through these was anger. I would get so mad when I was doin this because HUGE people that weighed more than me were doin it so I was like  "GRRRRRRRRRRRR if that________________________________________________ (profanity laden angry screams) can do by gum I can!"   it worked and that is all that matters!
whatever you do just do it, take a dance class you've always dreamed of, do zumba, go hiking, swim , do a 5k for charity (the charity part will shame  errrrrr motivate you into actually doin it! lol it did for me!)
I'd like for y'all to tell me your favorite ways to move mayhaps i'll add them to my list too............my next goal is to get under 200 so I can do zip lines! (250 is the limit but I'd like a bity more leeway before risking life and limb)

emotional eating 101

for every fat person their is a story but I would say almost all have one thing in common EMOTIOANL EATING. we eat because we're happy/sad/scared/lonely/bored/angry almost anything will cause an eating response. and many times dear old mom is the root of the problem, food = love. you get a booboo get a cookie, do good get a treat, fail get a treat. Christmas, thanksgiving, birthdays, religious gatherings, family gatherings everything is all about food. it becomes a pattern you eat to feel special or because you're not feelin special.
it may be the way we were raised but it's time to break the cycle, and forgive your mama she was only repeating the bad patterns grandma taught her and back and back in time. when we were struggling to survive as a species it made sense. but that holiday apple or orange they got as a treat in the 1800s turned into the sugar laden crap of the modern world it doomed us. we are not obligated or chained to the past though so now it's up to us to break those bonds of obesity, and while it's not gonna be easy it is certainly gonna be worth it.
I can relate personally  I'm an orphan both my parents died by the time I was 10 and was raised by my granparents. my granny was a very unhappy lady and she self medicated with food. she also wasn't equipped to handle the angst of a child whose world was ripped asunder. so I ate and I ate and ate some more. when I was young and living on the farm it was fine I exerted so many calories I remained at a normal weight but as soon as I moved away and started working in the "real" world I started packing on the pounds and over the years I turned into a butterball. I'm still thick and I still have about 40 pounds to go to goal weight but havin lost 80 and kept it off for over a decade I do actually know a little something about the weight loss wars.
so the first step is to change the type of food we eat as a treat. apples, oranges, raisins, nuts are wonderful treats and perfectly good for us in moderation.
the second step is to redirect the focus of our celebrations into no food based activities. why not go for a hike as a family, go bowling (skip the food at the alley) , play cards, do a board game night, play hide-n-go seek, go swimming, do a 5k together, volunteer as a family for habitat for humanity, have an art day or craft day, go to the movies or a play, or put on a play/concert for family and friends, have a scavenger hunt (with a non-food prize obviously) this one is all about thinking outside the box and using your imagination
third change the type of food you serve, basically I avoid anything white................bread, rice, potatoes and anything made with white sugar and their ilk are simply poison to the human body. a simple truth our bodies are NOT designed to digest processed foods and it is directly harmful to us.
make muffins with wheat flour and applesauce (non-sweetened) , serve unbreaded broiled lean meats, skip the sauces and condiments. focus on the quality of what you eat and that goes for what you give your kids as well. so many people start eating well but still make those extras for the "kids" so they wont feel deprived. REALLY? so you want to doom them to repeat your mistakes and suffer the pain that bein fat has brought to you emotionally and physically. love them enough to be a parent and do whats best for your family (not whats popular)
once you get the what taken care of you need to make portion control a priority we (people) have decided erroneously that bigger is better. we king size, value meal, upsize, add on ourselves into an early grave. a serving size of veggies is the size of a balled fist (yours not andre the giants) and a serving of protein is the size of a playing card...............yes really that is a portion! those small bags of chips are like 3 servings, a small candy bar is 2.5 servings, even a bottle of soda is multiple servings.
we're so used to eating till we're stuffed for many of us being full is not something we recognize. start cutting back and drink a glass of water before you eat. also take smaller bites and chew more. it really does help you to feel satiated. and by the by fat is NOT the enemy fat actually makes you feel full quicker. it's also what gives protein it's flavor. when companies make low fat foods they add sugar to make it taste better which is a false economy and will ruin a diet. don't take my word for it check the label.
it's also important to drink enough water, yes water. not tea no coffee plain old water. soda is bad for you diet soda is WORSE for you. it actually makes you gain weight in many cases. some of the artificial sweeteners actually make you hungry and slow your metabolism. many of us get more than the recommended daily caloric intake through our beverages. your weight loss journey is doomed to failure long term if you don't address these issues.
also if you weigh 500 pounds and you cut back a bit obviously you'll lose weight and quickly too but as you get thinner you have to address these issues to keep your weight loss on track. the most important thing is to make a decision to do something about your weight and get off your arse and do it!

and of course while eating the right food in the right amount is important so is exercise and we'll be going into that on tomorrow post

oh and if you MUST have "PI" I suggest you try this one! lolol 

a new beginning

hello y'all and welcome to the new and improved reflections in a murky stream............I shall be using this as my main blog and am feeling inspired and invigorated. sometimes change is a GOOD thing!
I guess I should start at explaining the sudden change for those who have followed me and any newcomers that are here. I started my old blog TIMOTHOLOGY on march 9 2011, I wrote 634 posts about my life and my journey thusfar with an emphasis on health/weight loss. see I used to be a really BIG boy I topped out at over 300 pounds. I lost 80 pounds easily and then NOTHING...................for 5 years NOTHING.

 I moved and plateaued and since I'm an emotional eater I just stopped dead the water so to speak. I started blogging as a way to keep motivated, accountable, and to network with others of like mind. it has truly been a wonderful journey and I've made some fabulous friends but then someone reported me as objectionable (the coward didn't even have the nerve to comment to me) and my blog died only the dire-hards stuck around any new visitors were scared of the "objectionable" label and having to agree to receive such material. so it kinda withered and died on the vine. I admit I let it get to me because it prevented me from fulfilling the purpose of the blog. it shouldn't but it still irks me to no end and I hope they know karma is gonna do it's job as I'm letting it go.
this has made me look back on a year that was ripe with promise but just kinda went flat. i can say I'm extremely proud of one thing i decided to do my first 5k and i did it! i joined a gym and i trained and trained. when i started i couldn't even do one but i shaved over 10 minutes off my first time and beat my all time gym time too so YEAH! my goal was to do it in under an hour (i have a bad knee) and i beat that by several minutes too (it was 56 something? i have forgotten the seconds)
my nephew did it with me which was awesome for the family support.............here's a pic of us about 1mile in

 

i also got some longed dreamed of ink!

 

this is the first two lines of the litany from fear practiced in Dune.

 

 

the chest piece is 2/3 done i need to have a stack of books added behind the owl so it's the whole night owl/book owl cornucopia that is mwah! lol

and lest i forget on the diet front i drank almost 5 quarts of crystal light but only 16oz of water. now that my taste buds are returning to normal I'm gonna ramp that up again, i suppose i should take this time to let any newbies in on that story. i woke up on a sat with my eye beet red and burning wound up in the ER of Monday it was so bad they wouldn't treat me and i got an emergency referral to the eye dr. well turns out i had Uveitus a severe inflammation of the eye,i had NONE of the risk factors but alas i was so luck as to get it. lol i had to dilate my eyes twice a day and put steroids in every 2 hours, wound up missing work almost a week and having 2 additional dr visits before she released me. it was honestly the most pain i EVER felt, much worse than knee surgery or tattoos!

it was VERY ouchie!

i will admit i quite enjoyed freaking people out with my one eye dilated! it was kinda creepy! lmao
I'm all better now except for the wallet which is recovering from missing a weeks pay, an ER visit, and 3 eye drs.....plus 2 scripts.
 for the holidays mayhaps i'll just put a bow on my forehead point and the eye and scream "MERRY CHRISTMAS! " instead of trying to get gifts for everyone! lolol
ok another side-tangent done back to the dieting!
i ate a venison/beef burger
ruffles
bacon dip (YUMMY!)
a little Debbie Christmas tree
4 sugar cookies
2 hot dogs
now i also need to say i normally do low carb but i gave myself a "break" about oh i guess a month and  a half or so and then life happened and i haven't made it back. eating healthy and on any plan is expensive and while i am definitely worth it if you don't have it sometimes you make do.
one of the major side effects of the steroids is a metallic taste in my mouth/throat which is why my water consumption has been sketchy that is SLOWLY fading away now that I'm off the steroids (today is day 6 steroid free) the upside of this is i have learned i can do better eating even while eating crap. i have a tendency to be an all or nothing guy 100% on plan or rotten , this forced me to evaluate that and to find ways to be "better" even if I'm off plan completely.
i gave up condiments
i used 1/2 a slice of cheese instead of a whole one
i tore off the crust or any excess bread from my sandwich and scooped out the middle on subs.
i used a bowl to put my chips/snacks in instead of holding the LARGE bag and eating mindlessly
i also threw the last bite of EVERYTHING away just to tell my mind/body i could
the result is that even when i'll and off plan in about 3 weeks i lost 5 pounds! i was shocked, i started at 216 and i am now 211 for my official 1st day reflection weight!
i should also say i got 13086 steps which I'm perfectly happy with..............i read somewhere that the average healthy person should get at least 10,000 steps a day so i TRY hard to reach that goal .
I'm deciding what i want to do as far as plan right now and I'm kinda in the mood to just ramp up the water and get back in the gym (it's been almost a month) and continue with the eating as i have been. Christmas is only 2 weeks away and i don't feel like depriving myself right now. plus i can honestly say i like 2 kinds of cookies and i hate chocolate so not much seems tempting right now. i definitely didn't enjoy thanksgiving bein in the midst of metallic land so i want a slice of pecan pie some turkey and cranberry sauce with a buttered roll and i shall have it in moderation!
and for any newbies I'm 45 I'm from Alabama lived in Florida  for 16 years, and have been here in Delaware for 8. i read tarot professionally  and have studied/practiced shamanism and well as paganism for over 30 years. feel free to pop on by and check out my tarot page on facebook
https://www.facebook.com/TimothysTarot
i do a card of the days, giveaways, mini readings all kinds of fun stuff.
i am alos a Gemini so i tend to move quickly from subject to subject, so sorry for the whiplash. i EVENTUALLY get my point across! ~giggle~ and i am also a 100% certified book nerd and hard back snob (no nook for me!) with probably 1000 books in my library that i adore. I'm also a poet, artist, certified herbalist, directional healer, firewalker, reiki master, and trivia junkie.
i don't smoke or drink and i try to maintain a somewhat balanced existence. if there's anything else you wanna know feel free to ask my life is an open book.
one thing i forgot to mention i am OBSESSED with Elvira Mistress of the Dark, have been since i was a kid and still am to this day , she is just so gosh darn marvelously macabre i cant help myself!

i think that's enough to digest on our first day but i have loads of things i wanna get into and discuss. i don't mind a differing opinion and i respect everyones right to their own but play nice!

 

 

testing part duex

kk y'all make sure anyone following timothology has started following this blog because today is the final farewell for that much maligned page.............hopefully this one will inspire us all!

test blog

this is a test and only a test, you were redirected to come here and comment and like , so do so now. please and thank you kindly..................you were redirected from my old soon to be discarded blog "timothology" http://timothology.blogspot.com/ it has been a labor of love and inspiration but alas things sometimes just don't work out someone robbed me of the ability to reach a larger audience so I'm switching gears and adapting this underused poetry blog to become my main blog. it will still be about timothology but in much broader terms. I'm gonna talk more about life in general and not just weight/health that just seems to restrictive to me at this point in my life.
I'm really planning on it bein a rebirth of my blog and my writing as of late I have been discouraged and angsty but no more I refuse to do that any longer. no matter what I shall carry on and I'm happy to have y'all here for the journey! xoxoxoxo

 

ode to a fried weenie

THE SCRUMPTIOUS SMELL THE GREASY BLISSFUL TASTE
DON'T BOIL , BAKE, OR GRILL EM SUCH A DAMN WASTE
I'M SPEAK OF FRIED WEENIES Y'ALL SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
I CAN EAT A WHOLE PACK ALL ON MY OWN
CUT EM HALF AND SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE TOO
DROP IN THE P...AN AND FRY EM UP CRISP LIKE MAMA WOULD DO
IT'S MY DADDYS FAVORITE BREAKFAST AND ON THAT I AGREE
AND IF YOU DONT LIKE EM WELL KISS MY GRITS AND FIDDLE DEE DEE
AND FOR THE DOUBTERS AND EWWWS Y'ALL DONT KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSIN
BUT DON'T ASK FOR MINE OR MY ASS YOU'LL BE KISSIN
I ALREADY ATE MINE BUT MY OH MY THE CRAVING IS BACK
JUST WRITING THIS MAKES TIMMY WANNA FRY UP ANOTHER PACK
WITH GRAVY AND BISCUITS OR TOMATOES THEY'LL GO
BUT WITH ANYTHING OR NOTHING IT'S BLISS THAT MUCH I KNOW
I HOPE Y'ALL ENJOYED MY FRIED WEENIE ODE
THAT'S HOW WE ROCK IT ON THAT OLD COUNTRY ROAD

 

 

 

willow song on wind

tis the middle of the night and the worlds sleeps in weary bed
I am wide awake with thoughts swirling in my head
opposite as usual but what's a boy to do
I choose moonlight and laughter in a world not tinged in blue
I tread paths in darknes...s through blackest of night
for some it may seem lonely but for me tis simply right
see I know a secret few can comprehend nor live
I am whole all by my lonesome happiness isn't someone elses to give
I feel no desperation for I am comfortable in my skin
do not fear if solitary is the place you're in
a relationship should compliment not complete you doubt not what I say
breathe deep and feel the universe around you holding loneliness at bay
I am never alone or frightened for with y'all I am one
walking a path that meanders and winds on a journey that tis never done
I am the fool who begins his journey and the fool I shall remain
I embrace his clueless innocence and from that I shan't refrain
bright blessings to all those who hold a place in my heart
life is a banquet so live love and laugh learn it as an art
I know not how to exist for I made the choice to LIVE
life is what you make of it and I have oh so much to give
I dance the heartbeat of our mother breathing in bliss and joy for all
dear friends feel my by your side I simply answer her lovely call
close your eyes and feel my breath caress silky skin
the tinkling that you hear is willow song on wind

 

 

SO MANY MEN

I WAS A FOOL BUT I TOOK A CHANCE
WHAT WAS I THINKING TO HELL WITH ROMANCE
SEX IS MUCH SIMPLER AND OH SO MUCH FUN
CUM AND GO THE END OVER AND DONE
NO MESSY EMOTIONS NO NEED TO TALK
DROP TO MY KNEES THEN TAKE A WALK
SO I'LL GO BACK TO MY MOTTO OF OLD
IT SEVED ME WELL TRUTH BE TOLD
IF I KNOW YOUR NAME THE ROMANCE IS DEAD
FIND A WILLING DICK JUST GIVE EM HEAD
AT LEAST THEN I WONT LIVE A LIE
TOO TIRED OF BULLSHIT WHY EVEN TRY
WHY THE FUCK DID I THINK I NEEDED MORE
THATS JUST  FOOLISH SO WHY NOT BE A WHORE
MY NECK ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK NEVER AGAIN
I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON WHO NEEDS A FRIEND
JUST CO CRUISING TIME AND AGAIN
SO LITTLE TIME AND OH SO MANY MEN

OK

RIVERS OF PAIN OCEANS OF DOUBT
ON THESE I RIDE AND AM TOSSED ABOUT
NO USE SCREAMING OR CRYING
NO ONE HEARS YOU SO STOP TRING
YOU BUILT YOUR WALL AND IT WAS STOUT
NOTHIN GOT THROUGH WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT
DECADE AFTER DECADE YOU TENDED IT WELL
ALONG CAME HE WHOM I DONT SPEAK OF AND OVER IT FELL
GRIEF OVER LOSING HIM YES TIS TRUE
BUT THERES SO MUCH MORE MAKING ME BLUE
HE'S NOT TO BLAME FOR ALL MY PAIN AND SORROW
HES ONLY A MAN AND NOT THE RULER OF MY TOMORROW
I GRIEVE FOR LOSSES BOTH GREAT AND SMALL
THERE WAS SO MUCH SHIT BEHIND THAT WALL
SO NOW I WOLLOW AND THRASH ABOUT
SWIMMING IN A FLOOD OF ALL I LET OUT
IN THE END ALL WILL BE RIGHT AND I'LL BE OK
THE WATER RECEDES MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY
STARTING OVER STRONGER I THINK
I GUESS I'VE HEARTBREAK TO THANK

SASSY

CAN I WRITE ONE HAPPY TALE TRY SOMETHING NEW
WARM AND FUZZY NO TRACE OF BLUE
I'LL TELL YOU OF MY LIGHT THATS WHAT I'LL DO
ABSOLUTELY THE BESTR LADY I EVER KNEW
FOR 11 YEARS SHE SHARED MY LIFE
THROUGH THICK AND THIN HAPPINESS AND STRIFE
IN ALL THAT TIME SHE NEVER LET ME DOWN
WHEN I'M BRUISED AND BATTERED SHES SAFE AND SOUND
SHE DRYS MY TEARS AND LIFTS ME UP
IN PRIZES FOR LOYALTY SDED TAKE THE CUP
FOR ALL MY LIFE I'M FOREVER BOUND
WHAT DID I DO BEFORE SHE WAS AROUND
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE CENTER OF MY WORLD
THIS IS MY ODER FOR MY SASSY GIRL

I NEVER HAD

SO NOW I'LL TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY I FELL FOR THIS MAN
HE SAID HE WANTED ME TIS TRUE BUT WAS IT ALL A NEFARIOUS PLAN
WHEN HE KISSED ME IT WAS ALL A BEAUTIFUL LIE
A GAME HE WAS PLAYING BUT WHY OH WHY
I REALLY THOUGHT HE LOVED ME AT LEAST AT FIRST
ONCE HE MOVED IN THAT FANTASY BUBBLE BURST
SO WHAT CHANGED IN ME WHY DID I SO EASILY FALL
ONE STUPID KISS GOOD GOD GET A GRIP WAS THAT ALL
NOW HE'S CONQUERED PLUNDERED AND MOVED ON AND SO MUST YOU
TRY TO SHORE UP THAT FRAGILE HEART STILL BROKEN IN TWO
GRAB THOSE BOOTSTRAPS PICK YOURSELF UP DUST YOURSELF OFF
MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE CEST LE VIE I TRIED AND I LOST
WHY DIDN'T IT WORK WAS IT ME WHAT DO I LACK
WAS IT ALL ME OR IS HE FUCKED UP AND OUT OF WHACK
I WISH I KNEW WHAT TO DO WHERE TO GO WHAT POTION TO TRY
I STILL WANT HIM I STILL NEED HIM YET I HATE HIM ALL I CAN DO IS CRY
HE SAYS HE TRIED BUT HE'S FULL OF IT CAUSE THAT IS SO NOT TRUE
 HE KNEW FROM THE FIRST MOMENT HE WAS PAINTING ME IN SHADES OF BLUE
ACTIONS SPEAK MUCH LOUDER THAN  A VELVETY LYING WORD
TOO BAD I WAS LISTENING WITH MY HEART IT NEVER HEARD
SO HERE I AM LEFT LONELY BEREFT FILLED WITH AGONY AND JUST SAD
PINING AWAY FOR MICHAEL HE THAT I NEVER HAD

INEXPLICABLY

SOME LIVES A SONG WHILE MINE IS A DIRGE
Y'ALL SO HAPPY AND GAY FOR ME NEVER AN URGE
I'M MARKED SET APART FOR ALL ETERNITY CURSE
WHEN DID I MAKE THAT TURN COULD IT BE WORSE
TWO FROKS IN THE ROAD AND BOTH PATHS DISAPPEARED
STUMBLING BLINDLY PANICED FRANTIC WORSE THAN I HAD FEARED
UNABLE TO FIND MY WAY BACK
MUSIC DYING LAST CHORD FADING TO BLACK
SILENCE ENGULF ME IN TERROR TOO AFRAID TO CARRY ON
DRAGGED FORWARD INEXPLICABLY UNABLE TO ESCAPE THIS DEAD ZONE
UNABLE TO BOW OUT THOUGH TH GODS KNOW I TRIED
WHY DOES THE BODY STILL LIVE WHEN THE SPIRIT HAS DIED

OUT OF MY MIND

LIFE GOES ON THE WROLD KEEPS TURNING
I KEEP TRYING TO KEEP UP MOVING LEARNING
HAVE I FALLEN BEHIND WHERE HAVE Y'ALL GONE
NO ONE IN SIGHT ARE YOU HIDING AM I LEFT ALONE
TRYING NOT TO PLUMMET OFF THE CLIFF THE EDGE IS SO NEAR
WHAT LIES BEYOND THE ABYSS NOTHING I FEAR
WHAT IS LIFE YOU LIVE LOVE AND DIE
2 OUTTA THREE AINT BAD NICE TRY
UNLOVED BY ANY I FAILED THAT SILLY TEST
IS FATE THAT CRUEL OR IS LIFE A JEST
RUNNING BLINDLY FALLING FURTHER BEHIND
SCREAMING AND WAILING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY MIND

IMAGINE THAT

DECADES GONE BY AND I ALWAYS REMAIN ALONE
NO ONE TO LOVE ME STILL ON MY OWN
TO WHAT DO I OWE THIS SAD LONELY FATE
I NEED TO DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
AM I THAT UGLY OR MAYHAPS THE FAT
MAYBEY I'M JUST REPULSIVE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
EVERYONE SAYS I'M FUNNY SMART AND CUTE
ARE THEY ALL LYING OR JUST FULL OF SHIT IS THAT POINT MOOT
DONT LIKE BEIN ALONE BUT WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO
I GUESS I'LL GET OLD AND WITHER AWAY
TIME MARCHES OVER MY FACE DAY AFTER DAY
SO I'LL BE ODD AND JUST HAVE LOTS OF CRITTERS AROUND
TOO SILLY AND SENILE TO EVER HEAR LOVES SOUND
GOOFY AS A LOON CRAZY AS A BAT
SAD LONELY FAGGOT IF YOU CAN IMAGINE THAT

FLOW

LOVE IS NO ANSWER IT'S A QUESTION UNANSWERED FOR ME
NO QUICK FIXES NO INSTAND CURES FIDDLE DEE DEE
TAKE A PILL ADD WATER SIMPLY DOESNT WORK
 SCARY LOOKIN IN YOUR OWN HEART WHERE MONSTERS AND DARKNESS LURK
TERROR AROUND THE CORNER UNCONFRONTED IN THIS LIFE
STAY STRONG AND BRAVE YOU CAN WEATHER THE STRIFE
BE WHO YOU WERE MEANT TO BE BUT ARE AFRAID TO SET FREE
DESERVING YOU ARE THIS MUCH IS TRUE JUST WAIT AND SEE
ANYONE LUCKY TO BATHE IN YOUR  LUMINESCENT GLOW
SO TEAR DAOWN THE DAM OPEN THE FLOODGATES AND LET YOUR HEART FLOW

WHO AM I

WHO AM I WHAT DO I SEEK
CRAWLING THROUGH LIFE MILD AND MEEK
ILLUSIONS OF STRENGTH HIDING TERROR
WHO'S THAT COWARD LOOKIN OUT THE MIRROR
TO BE ME BUT HOW DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO TRY
SMALL FALTERING STEPS INCHING FORWARD AS I CRY
CLAWING MY WAY BACK NAILS BLOODY AND BROKEN
MISTAKED MADE LESSONS LEARNED NONSENSE SPOKEN
DOUBT THRETENS TO OVERWHELMSTILL I STUMBLE ON
SPINE OF STEEL INSIDE THIS JELLYFISH MY WILL IS MY OWN
I WONT BREAK DOUBT AND DESPAIR SSHANT WIN
ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL BE TIMMY AGAIN!

THIS IS RIGHT

A CHILD OF THE MOON AT HOME IN THE NIGHT
GIFTED FROM BIRTH WHY DO YOU FIGHT
DENY YOUR TRUE SELF RUN AWAY IN FRIGHT
THE GODDESS HAS BLESSED YOU WITH WORDS AND THE SIGHT
EMBRACE THE PATH DESTINY AT HAND SO DO AS YOU WILL
YET HARM NO ONE ELSE THE POWER IS REAL
SO NOW I MOVE FORWARD HEAD HELD HIGH
IT'S TIME TO STAND OTHERWISE I DIE
BLESS ME OH GODDESS AND GRANT ME YOUR LIGHT
FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I KNOW THIS IS RIGHT
 

STOP

DAMN IT TO HELL FUCK PISS SHIT
I'M TIRED OF THIS TIME TO QUIT
STOP WHINING PINING AND CRYING
MOANING AND LAYING AROUND LIKE I'M DYING
SO LIFE'S UNFAIR YES TIS SO VERY TRUE
SO WHERE'S THE SURPRISEI MEAN ESPECIALLY FOR YOU
IT NEVER COMES EASY THERE WILL ALWAYS BE LOSS
LIFE'S JUST A RISKY GAMBLE A COIN THAT YOU TOSS
TIME TO YANK THOSE BOOTSTRAPS AND GET UP OFF MY ASS
NO TIME FOR SORROW EVEN IF YOUR HEARTBROKEN ALAS
SO PUT A SMILE ON MY FACE AND LIVE THE HAPPY LIE
LIVE IT UNTIL YOU BELIEVE IT AND IT SHALL BE BY AND BY
 

SOLITARY

SOLITARY SUCH A SAD PATHEITC WORD
APPARENTLY MY MOTTO HOW ABSOLUTLEY ABSURD
BEING ALONE ISNT NOBEL AND CERTAINLY NO FUN
IMAGINE THE SENSATION OB BEING THE ONLY ONE
WALK ALONE SLEEP ALONE DREAM ALONE
WHERE THE HELL HAS EVERYONE GONE
WHAT IS IT IN ME THAT PUSHES THEM BACK
FOR REPELLING PEOPLE I'VE GOT THE KNACK
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME WHAT IS IT I LACK
WHERE HAVE Y'ALL GONE PLEASE PLEASE COME BACK