myself ?

no one really knows me
i don't begin to know myself
artist, teacher, poet, friend, fraud
so many facets, which are illusion
am i real or just mirrors and smoke
is there true depth or empty shell
projecting others beliefs living their expectations
funny outrageous and quick or is that the trick
a sleight of hand a mirrored illusion
no idea whatni want to do
stuck nowhere suspended in midair
empty and barren inside and out
never truly finding my niche
talking the talk faking the walk
contempt for myself and those i fool
a frightened child or an ancient soul
slaying myself daily yet never at peace
on and on the vicious cycle with nary a sign of relief

too young to feel this worn and old
the weight of the world covers my soul
trauma lies harshness hover over head
not a moments peace maybe when i'm dead
sabotage my specialty i create my own hell
shoveling coal on the flames fanning them as well
scared to be happy though i've no idea why
trying to break these patterns walk away from the big lie
swimming in circles one hand behind my back
waiting for something to give trying to get back on track
who am i who in the hell am i supposed to be
please someone tell me i simply can not see
like a ship without a rudder or a bloddy plane without wings
my soul longs to fly far from my minds angry screams
digging my own grave with every sorry deed
dragging my bleeding heart what the hell is it i need
afraid all my chances have slipped far away
devestated by the terrible price i've had to pay
all my dreams lost in terrible pain and sorrow
my fraigile hopes hanging by a thread on the 'morrow
will i see the dawning of a bright happy day
or is shadow and darkness where i'm fated to stay

OR

lonely or just alone in this land
pride or vanity out of hand
is this my life or just a sham
am i me or is this not who i truly am
am i certain or after all these years still not a clue
am i walking the rainbow or simply drowning in blue
standing still or turning wildly to and fro
hiding quietly or screaming wildly as i go
running uphill looking all about or head buried in the sand
am i approaching destiny or is life simply out of hand
        living this life as crazy as it seems
                        OR
        hoping tommorrow fulfills all my dreams

today or yesterday

streams that wind roads that never end
travelling hills and vallets since time began
on and on forever we must go
unable to stop sad and full of woe
lifetimes come and lifetimes go
happy or sad you just never know
bitter or sweet burning jeat or freezing cold
spirit mild and meek or fierce and oh so bold
choices great and small made each day
to carry on as before or pine your life away
so much hidden meaning so often misunderstood
trying to follow a winding path through a dark lonely wood
we oftentimes make difficult decisions without knowing why
following lifes road blindly until such time that we die
then you simply start all over again when your reborn
so is it todays sorrow or yesteryear we mourn

just checking

here i sit hands on keyboard ready to begin
i havent written story or prose since i dont know when
is it like riding a bike can i resume at will
will i bomb or do i still have that skill
so far so good at least i got the ryhme
whether or not i got the talent we'll find out in time
yep you guessed it this is just a test
i'm just checking the vibe and it's not in jest
something has stirred from the depths and it wants out
i guess life is my muse was there ever a doubt
today was filled with errands and the odd chore
no time thinking about a topic sorry if this is a bore
but it's served it's purpose and proved that i have it still
now i just need a topic cause i've a blog to fill
that's it for now i'm ready for bed
y'all know it wont be sugar plums dancin in my head
but enough about that i hope the day turns out as good as it seems
i'll see y'all later and oh yeah unpleasant dreams!

LETTING GO

IN THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIR ALONE IN THE DARK
MOURNING LOVE LONG GONE REALITY IS STARK
BUILDING YOUR WALLS SINCE TIME BEGAN
LIVING IN A PRISON OF SOMEONE ELSES SIN
THE SMELL OF CARNAGE FILLS YOUR AIR
TRAPPED IN A SPELL OF YOUR OWN DESPAIR
TIME TO MOVE ON LET GRIEF GO
STOP REPLAYING MEMORIES OF A SAD FORGOTTEN SHOW
TEAR DOWN THOSE DAK WALLS IN WHICH YOU DWELL
TURN AND FACE THE LIGHT COME OUT OF YOUR PRIVATE HELL
THERE'S NO BLAME  AT ALL FOR WHAT'S BEEN DONE
PRICES PAID LONG LONG AGO STEP OUT INTO THE SUN
FOLLOW THE LIGHT OF DAWN TO WHO YOU CAN BE
IF YOU DONT TAKE THE FIRST STEP YOU SHALL NEVER SEE

LOST SOUL

TROUBLED SOUL TORTURED HEART
DREAMS DEAD WORLD TORN APART
OUT OF STEP WITH THINGS THOUGHT REAL
UNABLE TO FIT IN WOUNDS FAILED TO HEAL
GENTLE SOUL LOST IN A HARSH LAND
NOT ABLE TO REACH OUT TO HELPING HANDS
TORMENT AND PAIN TO GREAT TO BEAR
SEEING THINGS OF WHICH WE WEREN'T AWARE
LEFT THIS PLACE TO TRAVEL HOME
SURROUNDED BY ANGELS NO LONGER ALONE
PEACEFUL AT LAST SOUL SOARING ON THE WIND
DEATH IS NOT THE ENDING IT'S HOW YOU ASCEND

echoes of sadness

thoughts of you echo in my mind
memories piled high like corpses in a mass grave
a maze of torture following a path that winds
you no longer fill my waking thoughts it's closure i crave
that elusive thing that will shut that door for good
turn the lock throw away the key to my broken heart
forget you move on act as i know i should
almost there feelin happy and free then once more ripped apart
memories come unbiden a game a show patouchilli on the wond
feelings of loss seep like puss from a mortal wound
not falling apart i shall not break though my soul bends
wasted time getting over my dis-ease for you i pined and mooned
sickness heals so slowly mind clearing is that the end
walking through dark and shadow fumbling blindly for the light
leaving the ghosts of yore looking for the dawn of the 'morrow
not quite there still the end seems within my sight
ready to come alive again say goodbye to wailing and sorrow
it's so difficult to stop mourning a love dead before its time
answers are fading and elusive slipping from my grasp
i know i'm innocent of guilt a love murdered your crime
so here i'm left taking that leap to let go of the past
scared but ready to open my broken hear anew
is love real do fairytales actually last
can it be could it be that you're looking too

the wolf and the crane

the wolf found himself in a nasty jam
choking on a bone desperate for help running all around
 gentle crane was wading at the river bend
"please help me crane pull out this bone so that i may mend
i'll give you a reward such as no one's ever seen"
so crane helped him out because she's never mean
the wolf said "thank you" then as he turned to go away
"your reward is that you shall live another day
you put your head in a wolfs mouth and lived to tell
thank your lucky stars cause crane tastes swell"
so before you offer kindness keep this fable in mind
when dealing with the dangerous they're not always kind.

THE BEAUTY IN THE DARK

BREATHTAKING CREATURE AT HOME IN THE NIGHT
THE BEAUTY IN THE DARKNESS ECLIPSING ALL THE LIGHT
HAIR DARK AS RAVENS WINGS LIPS BLOOD RED AND FULL
VOICE OF A SIREN,CAN'T YOU FEEL THE PULL
BODY OF A GODDESS SURPASSES ALL THE REST
I'M SPEAKING OF ELVIRA ALTHOUGH I'M SURE YOU GUESSED
THE MISTRESS OF THE DARKNESS WOMAN OF MY DREAMS
WHO ELSE COULD FILL THAT DRESS BURSTIN' AT THE SEAMS
ONLY SHE CAN ROCK THE DARKSIDE OUTPARTY ALL THE REST
SO WHEN YOU WANT A TASTE OF TERROR WHY NOT TRY THE BEST
SHE'LL USE YOU AND ABUSE YOU FOR A LITTLE FUN
ONCE YOU'VE CROSSED THE DARKSIDE YOU'LL FORGET ABOUT THE SUN

the lone tree

LEAVES ON THE GROUND COVERED BY SNOW
THE LONE TREE STANDS WHERE THE FIERCE WINDS BLOW
IN THISSEASON OF ICE DEEP IN SLEEP
WHAT SECRETS AND KNOWLEDGE DOES THE LONE TREE KEEP
GONE WITHIN TO REST AND RENEW
LIVING YET DORMANT TILL SPRING COMES ANEW
A SCENT ON THE BREEZE A FEELING IN THE AIR
OF SPRINGS GENTLE WINDS THE LONE TREE IS AWARE
STIRRING FROM SLUMBER AWAKE AND REVIVED
ONLY BY GOING WITHIN DOES THE LONE TREE SURVIVE
BURSTING WITH LIFE HE SHAKES OFF THE SNOW
AS THE SHACKLES OF ICE BREAK THE LONE TREE WILL GROW
SPOUTING BUDS LEAVES BURSTING WITH LIFE
THE LONE TREE OVERTHROWS WINTERS COLD VISE
CLOAKED IN GREEN THE COLOR OF MOTHER EARTH
SPRINGS GENTLE SUN BRINGS THE LONE TREES REBIRTH
FROM SEASON TO SEASON YEAR AFTER YEAR
CENTURIES GONE BY THE LONE TREE'S STILL HERE
A GAURDIAN OF THE LIGHT PROTECTOR OF US ALL
AS LONG AS THERE'S HOPE THE LONE TREE WON'T FALL