i shall not give in and divine

I shall NOT give in nor give up. a beloved blogger I follow has hit rock bottom and laments if there is an escape from obesity at all. well DAMN it there IS! I'm proof I went from being morbidly obese to simply obese and while there have been MANY bumps slight regains start overs, lulls, disastrous binges, doubts, anger, tirades, humiliations and set backs I have NEVER doubted it was possible. I may question the path but not the destination. yes I still need to lose 40 pounds but that doesn't negate the 90 I've lost and kept off for all these years.
I remember that 300 pound slug, I looked like jaba the hut and felt horrible. I couldn't walk without huffing and puffing, couldn't dance, couldn't enjoy sex there are so many things that being that big stopped me from doing. I would have never done a 5k at that weight, or imagined I'd be wearing a medium pant.  may have stalled for a bit but I guess it's like hibernating and I'm FINALLY starting to wake up! I feel horrible when people lose hope but I must admit it also pisses me off and lights a fire under my butt! I'm off for 2 days and by gum I'm goin to the gym tonight! no excuses no doubt!

I think one pitfall we all do is not sticking with it long-term doing a month and then switching the switching again simply wont work long term. find a plan your body likes and stick to it whether it's whole food, paleo, atkins, counting calories, jenny craig, weight watchers (love the meetings but the plan triggered carb cravings/binges for me works great for non-carb addicts) or any other plan . give it at least 3 months and I mean 3 months at 100% compliance and then take an honest look at whether its working and if you can commit to a lifetime. I know diet is a dirty word it's supposed to be a lifestyle change and that's all well and good but most of us have addictions/triggers and simply cant do moderation for many it's chocolate for me it's bread, mayhaps for you it's berries. just as you would with heroin or alcohol AVOID it at all costs. eating as close as possible to you bad/fat diet is NOT acceptable you need to do what's best for your body and don't con yourself with that it's been a bad day I deserve it, I work hard I deserve it bullshit! and that one little bite wont hurt crap is just that one little bite CAN/DOES hurt so as sweet as your mom/nanny may be tell em to stuff it when they offer you that pretty poison. of course you simply must tell your circle what you're doing and they may roll their eyes and doubt you because of all the past failures but pay them no heed and by the by if you're the family cook and you feel the need to make unhealthy sides because the spouse/kids want them REALLY?! the kids have your genes do you want to curse them to follow in your FATsteps?
and as for others they can eat what is put before them or A. go hungry B. cook for themselves.
I have let myself get so out of shape the last couple of months that I'm horrified. oh I keep putting it off and I had my reasons (reasons are excuses with bows) and while they were valid they only prohibited me from what I normally do. I could have certainly (and should have!) found an alternative. there is ALWAYS a way and I KNOW that I just need to kick myself in the arse and get moving.
right now I'm not eating on plan and that needs to change my only excuse is that eating on plan costs twice as much as eating crap and with all my medical bills crap won, plus to be 100% honest comfort food tends to be crap and when I'm in pain that pecan pie and biscuits sure did feel like a hug to me. sad but true. so the plan is to clean out the cabinets over the next couple of days and wed when I get paid buy only food I'm allowed on atkins induction. so lots of meat and eggs basically (you cant have berries/nuts for the 1st 2 weeks) and salads. I'm going to try and limit beef/pork and do mainly fish and chicken. I'm also gonna try and stay away from processed foods like lunch meat and such because of the additives mainly. I'm not looking forward to the 1st couple of days but after that my body responds well to this type of plan.
now about last night somehow or another I got gas and my tummy was icky, no clue why but I was tootin like the band all night. I didn't eat anything that normally bother me so I'm not sure what caused it , oh and on that note...............
I ate:
chicken breast
chicken tenders (3)
3 potato logs
one of those mini pecan pies
a handful of Cheetos
and I did something I haven't done in ages! I had soda it was disgusting but it did do the trick. I drank 3 glasses of caffeine free diet coke to make me belch and boy did it ever but at least the gas is gone. and I can say for certain my craving for soda is NILL! YUCK!!!! I also drank almost a gallon of water.
ARTIST OF THE DAY: DAY 11: DIVINE:
divine was the 1st dragqueen to really have some commercial success and manstream recognition and he milked it for all it was worth. with a wicked sense of humor and nary a singing bone n his body he released some of the WORST songs ever and I ADORE them! he committed 120% and gave his all good or VERY bad and I say God Bless Him you worked it long before any other and paved the way for the rest!