1 pound at a time

one pound at a time seems so slow and frustrating but one pound IS one pound so hang on and hang in! I know I'm gonna get there eventually even though I wanna be thin the day before yesterday as I have no natural patience. but ya know what ...I didn't get fat overnight and I'm not gonna get healthy that quickly either. that being said the goal is to be healthier today than I was yesterday. to make good choices in the now without mourning the past and letting those I already fucked up I might as well just go whole hog feelings take control.
emotions are a tricky thing and in the weight loss wars emotional eating is a subject fraught with danger and pittfalls. we all recognize it cause we've all been there done that multiple times............but it's something no one wants to hear from well meaning thin friends (or heavy ones) taking yourself out of that emotion is difficult, who am I kidding it's well neigh impossible when your in it's grip. it's afterward when we're dealing with the tummyache, swollen joints, diahreah, brain fog, etc etc that we moan why did I do this to myself? for me subconsciously I used to make my body feel as bad as my soul. I thought I needed to suffer and man oh man did I cause myself to suffer. I don't do that as much now. but on occasion my eyes are much larger than my stomach and I end up paying. like yesterday I didn't think I ate too much, slightly more than normal but I woke up with the worst heartburn it took 2 hours of burping/farting to get rid of all that gas. apparently some spices don't agree with me anymore because I don't eat them often since I strive to eat natural healthy foods within my screwed up palate of course! LMAO
I ate:
sm slice of chocolate cake with coconut icing
5 soft beef tacos with cheese and sour cream (tiny amounts of both and these were the tiny saucer size shells)
chicken breast
2 tomato slices
sm bag bbq chips
chocolate chip cookies (2 deli size)
then I went out to cheddars........Caesar salad (1/2 I shared), 1/2 croissant with honey butter, 5 French fries and a dinner portion of cornmeal crusted fried catfish.
even though I ate the tacos earlier it was them I was tasting/feeling later! I simply cant eat this much anymore so I'm gonna have to be aware of that. apparently like a cows stomach everything ferments in me and turns to gas! NOT fun or funny!
I have pulled out my Goddess Workout and am going to shimmy this new day into existence!

my eat anything days.................

well I continue to surprise myself while I'm allowed to eat anything and everything I want..............
handful of Cheetos
bacon cheeseburger (with bun)
chicken breast
donut
payday (king size)
toffee cookies
soft tacos (beef, cheese, sour cream ...3)
that's it for the day I just totally wasn't hungry I ate till I was full and then stopped. now I know I need to start focusing on the quality of what I eat but hey I actually am at 208 this week so my body is FINALLY letting me know when it's satiated and that's a wonderful thing (I NEVER thought would happen)
I am on vaca this week and I'm eating less because I don't eat so much overnight. apparently whilst working I stress eat lmao  so I need to shield myself better energetically at work and start packing healthy lunches again.
the plan was to work out extra this week but that hasn't happened I've been stationary for days now! of course it was race weekend (I live in dover de so if you saw the dover 500 that's right down the street) and there are gazillions of nassholes converged on us . locals leave or stay home as I did!
they should be all gone this morning then it will be safe to venture forth again (my gym is on the other side of the track from me)
it's been a lovely few days relaxing that seldom happens for me so I feel no guilt at all...........
I really need to decide what weight I want to be cause I've got a 20 pound window from chart to chart
if I go down to their recommended sizei'll look like I'm starving, I'd rather look healthy. here's a great meme of Christian bale for comparison, myself I vote for his reign of fire size it looks PERFECTly yummy! at my recommended I'd look like his machinist size!

cook out

the 2nd day of my bday celebraton continued with a BIG cookout. it was great lots of food and friends too.
I ate:
pork steak
chicken breast
cheeseburger with bacon and bbq sauce
donut (1)
handful of popcorn
ramen noodles with parm.
tiny slice of chocolate cake with coconut frosting (not even th size of a post-it)

maleficent=magnificent

MALEFICENT = MAGNIFICENT!  totally one of my all time fave fantasy movies it was pure joy! liked this story WAAAAAAAY better than the sleeping beauty fable of olden days.





probably gonna see this one again on the BIG screen!
as for the rest I gave myself permission to have whatever I wanted for my birthday best I could come up with! lolol
hamburger helper lasagna
garlic bread
peanut M & Ms (theatre box)
chicken alfredo and garlic bites from dominos
that's it all I ate all day, apparently my food dreams are kinda simple nope no lobster theadore for me no filet minone, for me a feast is hamburger helper! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE what a total and unapologetic dork I am! I got almost no steps as I walked from house to car to theatre and back, other than that I barely moved...............I did do an all day Love Boat-a-thon which I thouroughly enjoyed. I knew that several guest stars repeated but wow Michelle Lee (knots landing) was on 3 times so far and I'm still on season 1, Robert urich twice, Maureen mccormic twice.........and to my shock Kathy bates was on and she was young and thin!
gotta say as far as days go my B-day was pretty gosh darn GREAT!  there were 10 of my family of friends who went and that in its-self is wonderful that that many people would go just because I wanted to , several of whom actively dislike the fantasy genre. I will say however ALL were won over and agree that Angelina was BORN to play this role in the way Lynda Carter IS Wonder Woman and Hugh Jackman IS Wolverine.....................

happy birthday to ME!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRqkTVOovPQ




it's my birthday so I thought I'd help everyone out who is searching for that perfect last minute gift idea................TIMMY is a greedy boy the kind who wants to have his cake and eat it too! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

something is missing.............

something is missing in my journey and that's a partner, no not a romantic partner just someone I can talk to about progress, failures and the lot. this blog is fine as a vent and a record and don't get me wrong I love the comments but I just want people I can work out with, go for walks, swap recipes, etc etc IN PERSON in that moment and I know that's why I keep going back to weight watchers. for the meetings their plan doesn't work for me at all, it's too carb loaded and has too many veggies/fruits which I don't like and wont eat (NEVER BLEECH)
so basically I paid $40 just to feel human connection, thats' expensive and kinda sad.
I'm gonna have to look around and see if I can find somewhere to host a weightloss group, my place is out too many kids not enough room. lol mayhaps a bookstore we'll see, but I HAVE to de something because I'm sick and tired of walking this road all by my lonesome...........the cyber world is wonderful but sometimes you just need to "FEEL" a person!
on the eating front I had....
glazed donut
chicken tenders (5)
2 doriotos , yes 2 of the new blue jacked YUCKY! lol
gardettos bacon/cheddar crackers
chicken breast
 scrambled egg with cheese
ham
2 coconut dream cookies chocolate covered (ICKY)
accidentaly erased my steps but was a BUSY night so probably a few more than usual.


on the world front I was so saddened by maya angelo's passing, she was an angel among us and will be missed.............................(here's a fave poem)
"Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise."

once upon a dream

once upon a dream..............
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYrD_l3juoU





getting pretty gosh darn jazzed for Friday besides bein my bday a bunch of us are gonna see maleficent! WOO HOO!
 as far as today it was okey dokey, busy but not too too bad.
I ate:
chicken tenders
ramen
chicken breast
pork chop
ritz crackers
hamburger
hot dogs
bbq chips
steak and gravy biscuit from hardees (2)
lemon muffin
I also got 8390 steps, below my 10,000 but my knee is acting up so I didn't want to push it. I know the difference in an I need aleve twinge and an UH-OH twinge and this was the latter. gonna take some aleve anyway, elevate, and wear a brace today and see where that takes me.

fmm: animals

Friend Makin Mondays: Animals

Posted on May 19, 2014 by SarahLou1976
Happy Monday everyone, I was sat here cuddling with my dogs after we spent the morning at a fundraising event and thought animals would be a good topic for this week (and a good excuse for photos!)
If you’ve taken part in FMM before then you are familiar with the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to read and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
Animals
1. What is your favorite domestic animal?
MAN! lmao
2. What is your favorite farm animal?
bison, alas they really don't exist in the wild anymore
3. What is your favorite wild animal?
the mustang I love their free spirit and speed
4. Which animal describes you the best?
bear, solitary likes to be left alone and perfectly happy hibernating lol
5. If you were able to come back as an animal which one would it be?
I have a tiger totem and I love the fierceness and strength of it so that's what I'd be.
6. What do you think about zoos?
the good ones have done a lot to save animals that would otherwise have gone extinct and I enjoy a good zoo.
7. What do you think about animals in circuses?
as long as they're treated well I have no issue with it, gone are the days when there was enough open spaces to return all critters to their natural habitat. zoos and circuses have kept some animals from going the way of the dodo much sooner than they would have..........animal testing worries me far more! of course I grew up on a farm and we had cows, pigs, goats, horses, dogs, cats,etc etc
8. Do you have a favorite animal charity you like to support?
no I support local animal shelters or rehabbers once they get into the "charity" aspect they are simply money making ventures with no heart or soul. like peta which wants all of us to return our pets to the wild and be vegans but kill 97% of the animals taken in by their shelters.
9. Do you have a favorite ‘animal movie?
toss up between black beauty and the black stallion


Have a great day and I look forward to reading your answers, hopefully with lots of photos.
Now it is your turn to answer the questions, don’t forget to come back here and link your answers in the comments below.
Sarah xxx

happy memorial day!

remember those warriors who have given their all and remember those who have survived even though their lives have forever changed. the sacrifice does not end with the tour of duty!

intuition

intuition indeed!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ilh1ewceco
so this going by "instinct" thing has worked out pretty well to show me where I'm at and what I need to do to get to the next level and it applies well to all aspects of my life. I's gonna continue this until sometime on my vaca still mayhaps june 1st but I need to look at a calendar, and of course don't have one handy! LMAO
I ate:
chicken tenders
Cheetos (handful)
peanut butter on ritz crackers
scrambled eggs
zero bar (kingsize)
sausage
pork skins
1 potato wedge
I got 8675 steps I was tied to the register most of the night! lolol so why are the dogs barking?
saw this and facebook and by the by...................."I may have said it with a drawl slower than a crawl but I still did way better than the rest of y'all!

90% Of People Can't Pronounce This Whole Poem. You Have To Try It.

kylegetsgayer

http://www.tickld.com/funny/t/824613

2 days ago

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labor to reading six lines aloud.

silly happy

the silliest things make me happy, like I got the 1st two seasons of the love boat. I'm mr cynical and I enjoy non happy endings to books and movies but occasionally I like silly fluff and the love boat is like tv cotton candy a sweet confection with no substance that is exceedingly sappy yet makes me have the warm fuzzies! so YEAH BABY.............the love boat!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbO2hlNb6w8&feature=player_embedded


as for the rest it's been ok lol
I ate:
spaghetti
garlic bread
Italian sausage (2)
oreo (4)
2 sausage biscuits (hardees)
country fried steak biscuit with gravy (hardees)
bbq Vienna sausage
ritz garlic butter crackers
I got 14392 steps
I also got some fun new "toys" lol the Lenormand deck which is a fortune telling deck of 36 cards and really has nothing to do with tarot. I simply want to see how gifted I am. a book on said deck and some blank tarot cards so I can prototype my new deck to see how it actually works (I have one card completed and three more in the figuring it out stage. I also got some astrodice because I need to bone up on my astrology and this seems like a cool way to do it. I also got new bags for all my decks so I can dispose of those pesky boxes and house them in style!
it's time I ponied up in all aspects of my life, mental, physical, and spiritual so that's the plan..........no more stalling and half-assing time to put it in gear. shoot long past time truth be told. so the game plan is simply JUST DO EVERYTHING!





lmao

real food YES!

so I ate real food yesterday with no ill affects and I am THRILLED and FILLED! lol
I ate 2 homemade hamburgers (I cook em in water in a skillet until they're done then empty pan and   brown them so WAY less grease)
a pecan pie (small one in tin from wally)
sm bag bbq chips
this morning I'm eating a plate of left over spaghetti I crumbled my left over hamburger and cut up an Italian sausage to put in the sauce then sprinkled with romano cheese
garlic bread
that's all so not overdone but VERY satisfied.
did I mention how much I HATE ginger-ale lmao it taste like you boiled tree roots and dirt to me (so does licorice)
gonna do some yoga to see where I'm at physically then mayhaps some belly dancing too!

ick pooey

my tummy has been ick pooey but I finally managed to keep down some ritz crackers and a couple of chicken tenders after LOTS of ginger ale and pepto. I have been farting like crazy all day everything went to gas. I felt like I was stiffler in American pie trying to gross people out! lmao
every time I moved I tooted and goodness gracious if I bent over for anything it released a POOTicane that I'm surprised didn't leave a hole in my britches! TMI? lolol
but that's easing off too thank goodness. and the cramps have lessened too.
I ate
ritz crackers
chicken tenders
ginger ale
rolaids!
forgot to set my pedo so no clue probably over 10,000 though I still did my work!

A DAY WITHOUT YOU..........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aAf8oe6NwE


A DAY WITHOUT YOU WOULD BE A DAY WITH ME, and I'm GOOD with that! lmao


havin some tummy issues, everything turned to gas/bloat and I was having cramps so I left work an hour early and took some pepto and ginger ale. hopefully it's just something I ate and not the start of something!
speaking of food I ate:
chicken tenders
spicy chicken sandwich with bacon and swiss (mayhaps the culprit)
I also ate 2 of the yellow mystery flavor doritos (YUK!) it was VERY citrus in a ugh way
that's it I was in bed by 11am yesterday and slept til almost 9pm.

rest aka lazy days

yep I've had 2 GREAT lazy days.............I left the house once for my monthly tarot group and that was it. other than that I've hardly moved and it feels GREAT! I slept and slept and then after I woke up I took a nap! then I had a siesta and a lounge and some dozing off too! sometimes we have to listen to our bodies and just relax...........
on the food front I had:
teddy grahmns
salsbury steak and gravy
biscuits
scrambled eggs
oatmeal cookie
chili (no beans)
tomato soup
grilled cheese
vegetable dip
wheat crackers
potato skin (1)
chicken tenders (sm microwave ones)  3
oatmeal pie
and before y'all tink OMG what a pig! that's Sunday and Mondays food intake! lolol
I got virtually no steps and my poor achy feet are really kinda happy. I DESPERATELY need new work shoes but I've been putting it off because truthfully I'd rather buy a season of something on dvd or go out to eat than spend money I don't get to enjoy and we're supposed to be switching over to shoes bought thru the company but I don't know exactly when.







now lemme say I agree and disagree with this 100%! lmao everyone should be able to wear whatever they want to the beach but you should be prepared to see pictures of said self and if it's painful for you to look at spare everyone else the discomfort. my only issue is when it gets obscene and the bikini looks like dental floss up an elephants ass. I would NEVER wear at speedo at my current weight but hey if you wanna wear a mankini you go right ahead!

books

so I am an admitted book nerd and hardback snob. I DESPISE kindles, nooks, tablets and all other forms of electronic reading. it's like someone reciting an opera instead of singing it. you get a pale imitation of grandeur.
I have always had a love affair with the written word and I probably always shall. books were my salvation when I was bereft and my stability when I lose my way. I read a variety of things and am always interested in books on almost any subject. westerns, history, sci-fi, fantasy, metaphysical, reference, everything from A COOK IN TIME by Joanne Pence to ZEN A WAY OF LIFE by Christmas Humphries







of course I have many books on weight loss and healthy living some are wonderful and have served me well some are dry as toast and somber but all bring something to the mix.............sticking with the health category here are some of my faves (in no particular order)
Richard Simmons better body book
Jillian Michaels making the cut
Bob Harper are you ready
Julie Hadden fat chance
Valerie Bertinelli losing it
Dolphina bellydance
Raquel Welch ,Raquel
Mario Lopez knockout fitness (this one is "pretty" and mostly useless as a guide but did I mention he's pretty?!) lol
Bob Paris , flawless, beyond built, and prime.
Robert Atkins new diet revolution (this ones my "BIBLE")






so I picked a random shelf next to me to illustrate my taste in literature
George carlin last words
dean koontz odd Thomas books
dan millman peaceful warrior books
anna sewell black beauty
molly wizenberg a homemade life
the firefly dance (various)
Margaret cho I have chosen to stay and fight
jk rowling harry potter series
christpher palonini inheritance cycle
edgar allen poe the complete works
Stephen king the dark tower series
gawa ni pony boy horse follow closely
atkins new diet revolution
ann webb the proper care of tarantulas
bette midler the saga of baby bette
Rachel Pollack 78 degrees of wisdom a book of tarot
and that's only a small sample of my tatses! lol





this I loved I posted it on Fb and got some wonderful responses............and if I were gonna gift y'all I can only narrow it to 3 by the way it's be
DUNE
THE STAND
THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA (it's ONE book released in 7 parts! lol)
now for something far less cerebral and more likely to get your blood flowing I give you ............



lololol








EVIL LAUGH! LMAO
 ok back briefly to weight loss....

LMAO

the craving vs the reality

so we all know how horrible cravings are and sometimes it lives up to it's hype but NOT usually. especially if the craving is something non-special and pedestrian like frozen waffles. now lemme say that's the only kind I've ever had because when I go out I get pancakes but I like them soft and fluffy where-as I want my waffles crispy. I just cant imagine microwave pancakes would be anything but rubbery as ALL microwaveable dough products are. (I HATE micro hot pockets, sandwiches, burgers and the like) so after 3 days of working for these blasted waffles what is the verdict. EH they were good and I enjoyed them but it's certainly not an experience I'm gonna write Anthony bourdain about! lolol it did finally cure my craving thank goodness.
today should be a good day I'm off work and I have my monthly tarot group so that will be fun, plus I have my last pay it forward gift to deliver. I didn't see why I needed to pay $3 for shipping when I'll see them in person tonight (shhhhhhh they don't know!) lol
as for food I ate:
honey teddies (a generic teddy grahmn)
Cheetos (I've been eating on a bag for several days now that normally would be 1 sitting!)
triscuit
ham, scrambled egg and cheese sandwich
ham
key lime donut
so far thats' it I had no time to eat dinner at work so I'm done for the day.
I walked 14598 steps
so is there a craving that ALWAYS lives up to the hype for y'all?
for me I dunno it used to be hardees biscuits but I've been disappointed the last few times I went. I really enjoy cheddars at this point but I don't crave it so much. red lobster all you can eat shrimp is another thing I enjoy and if I skip the biscuits and fries I can stay 100% low carb but alas that special seems to run less and less. mayhaps I'm just starting to get a handle on eating as a whole.

the strength of ASGARD

had an ok day and hopefully my horrible craving for waffles I've had for days and days will be quenched this morning! lemme tell ya a couple of days ago there was 1/2 a bottle of syrup and 2 waffles in the freezer so when I wanted waffles I bought one of those small 6packs of aunt jemima frozen ones came home cooked em slathered butter on them and went to get the syrup out of the cabinet and you guessed it nothing, so someone ate 1/2 bottle of syrup on 2 waffles but apparently it was santa coming early because no one here will cop to it!
so I have all these darn waffles and nothing to eat them with, I HATE fruit or cool whip or any of that stuff I'm strictly a butter and syrup kinda guy ( I may eat waffles/pancakes once a year) but I was too exhausted to go to the store so yesterday I stopped at redners and did my shopping everything EXCEPT syrup! lol of course it was pouring rain so I took the kids to the bus stop and went back to get my syrup (in gym shorts and a tank no less and I NEVER go out without bein dressed) well darn it to heck frozen waffles do NOT reheat well one nasty bite and I was done with that so this morning I stopped at wal mart and got another package which are in the toaster over as I write this................wish me luck after all that they better be some gal darned tasty waffles indeed! LMAO
other than that I ate :
chicken tenders
Cheetos
ham
pepperoni
ceasar salad
American cheese
and fixin to eat waffles! lol
I also got 11473steps and about 20 minutes of yoga.


I found this cool site with interesting workouts so I thought I'd share one check out the link for all kinds of game of thrones, superhero, etc etc workouts to spice up your sweat!
Get the strength and body of Thor with the ultimate Thor workout!

You can see more workouts based off of your favorite superheroes, TV shows, movies and more at http://bit.ly/SuperWorkouts.

venting

I don't know about y'all but for me it's almost never the BIG stuff that sends me into a homicidle frenzy it's that little nothing thing that hits me at the wrong time and place and man oh man was I there this morning. 3rd shift is treated like everyones step child but we do the bulk of the work and last night was a bear. I had a truck to put away a milk order issues with vendors and recovering from the disaster that 2nd shift left me................but I got everything done and was leaving when a first shift **************** person actually came to get me and tell me I didn't do my job. I had taken out the garbage and layed the new bag over the can but had gotten interrupted before I actually put it in the can. WTF? seriously you're gonna come at me with that.............I blew a gasket. in the first place it was the barista who is low man on totem pole and NOT my boss, 2ndly I had set up his next round of coffee for him (not my job nor required of me) and he doesn't do half the stuff he's supposed to on any given day. I may have yelled, I might have curse, I know I went off to the manager about the 90 year old tiddy baby and he better pick his battles with me because now I'm actively gonna make it more unpleasant and not so easy for him. petty is as petty does I guess! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
not even sure why this tweaked me so badly other than I'm exhausted and it was a BAD night but anywho I feel better getting it out and letting it go so on to more important stuff
I ate:
triscuit dill
ham
chicken tenders (5)
potato wedges (5 tiny ones)
onion rings (the chip not the real ones)
peanut butter cookies (2)
I got 12,756 steps
so gonna watch a couple of episodes of wild wild west and go to bed. it's pouring here we're supposed to get between 2 and 4 inches today according to the weather. so it should be good sleeping conditions!

the plan?!

ok so I need to do something foodwise but still kinda ponderin it. lo carb is of course gonna be involved because other than biscuits occasionally I don't really enjoy bread anymore. half the time If I fix a burger or dog in a bun I take one bite and toss the bread so why bother...............mayhaps i'll just eat salads I found a yummy looking one online!

lololololol now that's my kinda feast. it actually looks like my plate when I go to a breakfast buffet!
seriously though probably gonna eliminate bread or simply allow myself one cheat meal a week (NOT a cheat-day ONE meal!) and a timed one at that, gonna stick to the food journaling and restart my 3 times a week (or more) workouts now that the weather is better.
now I have a totally unrelated health question for y'all my 17 year old nephew has been told by his dentist that he MUST have his wisdom teeth out asap BEFORE he goes into the military. he is asymptomatic as they are in and he has no issues so I think it's BULLSHIT! of course the dentist wants to yank em out but for me that's stupid and apparently the only country that routinely does this is the USA with NO scientific basis at all. the statistics have been proven false and most removed from the ads. I say that's stupid it's like removing an appendix because you MIGHT have a apendicitus. what do y'all think? does your country still do this?
on the food end I ate :
pork chop
Cheetos (handful)
scrambled eggs
peanut butter cookies (2)
ham
roast beef
beef sausage
garlic bread
and I got 10,340 steps