not giving up[

I'm starting to miss a regime which is something I NEVER thought I would I guess when you've been in the weight loss wars as long as me you just get bored and tired of always counting/journaling/thinking and so I stopped and I've enjoyed my time of freedom but I feel that's coming to an end and I'm gonna gear up for that FINAL battle. I probably have three days worth of food to use up (I'm not throwing it away) so I have that amount of time to pick a plan any plan just so I have some structure. most likely atkins as the carbs are bad for me even in moderation I can tell when I'm eating them I feel lethargic and off.

today was a crazy carb day!

medium thin crust pizza white sauce with chicken and bacon

garlic knots with garlic butter (16)

chicken alfredo............these 3 items were 1 meal (I told you CRAZY!)

pulled pork bbq sandwich (2)

peanut butter cookies (12)

Cheetos

fried chicken 8 piece ( 2 breasts, 2 thighs, 2 legs, 2 wings)

I haven't binged like that in ages and I can feel it my feet are starting to swell from all the sodium and my joints are getting achy. definitely gonna be an UGH so I'm gonna take some aleve and hopefully head off the worst of it at the pass. not sure what came over me but I was just in binge mode and took me a the better part of the day to take ahold of myself. it seems like a LOT but compared to the binges of old it's really not. an old school binge for me was insane...................large meat lovers pizza, chicken tenders, breadsticks, large bag of chips, king size baby ruth and of course wash it down with a 2litre DIET soda! and that was one sitting for supper then I'd go to hardees and get at least 6 meat biscuits for breakfast and do wendys for lunch plus several snacks in between. I'm guessing I used to put away around 4500  to 5000 calories a day easy.

whats done is done and I'm fine with it since I cant change it there's no point in fretting myself into an emotional state triggering another binge. I've simply grabbed my bootstraps and am yanking hard which is good keeps my hands full so I can't shovel more food down my gullet! the worst of it is I'm soooooooooooooooo darn sleepy but I simply need to stay up because I have to work at 10pm so I need to be awake overnight till at least 10am........................PPPFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT this is gonna be difficult! lolol cest le vie I did it to myself so I have to deal myself!

I shall never give up or throw in the towel but my oh my I wish he would!