blogging, buddies, and bs

I want to talk about doubts specifically self doubt it  harms many of us (if not all)
I know I've struggled with it for most of my life I even named mine ( shit head and he's a scale) because that seems to be my big struggle . I know mentally I can do it, hell I HAVE done it I weighed 300+ and now I'm 209, that's recent but I've been around 220 for a decade so I lost and kept off 80 pounds...........then stopped 40 pounds from my goal and just did nothing. not a pattern I want to repeat and it's a multitude of reasons , fear of success cause what if my life isn't perfect because I'm fat but because I'm just a loser in general? (STUPID!!!) I have tons of reasons it never happened and believe you me reasons are merely bows wrapped up in a ribbon cause they look/sound nicer than I'm too lazy and have no willpower. yep I've sold em to the world and myself enough times that I should be the spokesmodel for fleet enemas cause we all know how full of shit we can be when deluding ourselves! 
I was reading my friend mary frans blog and it got me fired up because she gets down on herself sometimes and she's such a strong warrior goddess of a woman I just wanna give her a BIG hug then shake her till her teeth rattle! cause she can do ANYTHING she wants, and has proven it time and again (are you listening darling?) if you don't follow her already I highly recommend doing so!
http://mfclingan.blogspot.com/2014/04/shut-up.html so put all self doubt aside if it haunts you and start looking in the mirror (yes literally) and telling yourselves what wonderful beautiful strong spectacular human beings you are.............that means you too mary fran!

hope this didn't give y'all whiplash! ~giggle~
since I'm doin shout outs my other favorite blogger buddy is Lori, she's a doll and so super supportive. y'all need to be following her too! like NOW! lol
http://deepdarkweightloss.blogspot.com/2014/04/i-eat-what-i-want-when-i-want-in.html


I really have come full circle with this blog and I'm glad I started it for me and then it got popular and crashed and burned so I'm back to basics and just making myself happy at this point which is how it should be.
I haven't actually started any plan as of yet the 26th just didn't happen but my eatings been fine and I got 15382 steps today so YEAH ME!
I ate.............
bologna biscuits
Cadbury caramel egg (1)
beef jerky
Cheetos
reesee egg (1)
peanuts
that's it slept most of the day and too busy to eat at work so my appetite just kinda vanished, wish I could learn to do that trick at will! LMAO
there are so many blogs I follow and so many people that you become close to and they just disappear and I worry about them. my very 1st blog I followed hasn't been on for over a year and I still worry if she's ok. I try to cross reference if possible with facebook so I don't lose touch. I think some people simply stop out of shame because they didn't succeed as well as they hoped or they regained which feels even worse. so if anyone wants to add me you can send me a request on fb.
https://www.facebook.com/timothylmartin?ref=tn_tnmn


I love it when the UNIVERSE confirms my thoughts and todays crows magic card on my timothy's tarot facebook page did just that!~ so I had to share it on this blog as well.................

todays crow's magic card is the UNIVERSE: totality, wholeness.....
action on an incredible scale taking place, the success you have long been working and struggling for is at hand as many differing minds and ideas are converging as one at t...his moment in time and space.
do not let fear hold you back or make you irrational. let go of uncertainty and bewilderment and accept that the chaos shall pass quickly as long as you believe and remain open to success and achievement. do not doubt and do not hesitate, the pattern of stopping midstream and so close to success is one of fear and MUST be broken. who you are or what you have failed at are of no matter to the universe for now you have the opportunity to move beyond all and be one with the UNIVERSE.