empty a void that's what i am
what can i possibly offer anyone
i have nothing i am nothing
im too old too fat too afraid
my life doesn't belong to me
i've no money no nerve
how can i live up to expectations
i've failed at every level
dreams turned to dust blown away
dead end jobs i can't afford to leave
bastardizing myself for nothing
tears have left craters on my face
like the grand canyon worn away by time
it's been far too long since iu felt any hope
does it exist anymore did it ever
life's been one long failed drama
i try to be good for what purpose
don't drink don't smoke no drugs for what reward
pain loneliness frustration self-doubt
contempt from the world and those i care about
noah's ark would've sank in the tears i've cried
happiness is a cruel joke a myth an urban legend
the storybooks all lied
there are no happy endings
hope's gone rolled over and died
Wow... So powerful... HUGS!
ReplyDeleteHappiness is state that so many people find hard to find and when you have had your heart ripped out and trod on then it feels like you will never be happy again,at the moment I have my oldest daughter feeling like she will never find a man to love her and her daughter........
ReplyDeleteOh, Timothy! I have come across from Jo-Anne's Ramblings to pay you a visit after having loved the comments you'd left for her. I instantly thought, now there's a really thoughtful, caring person that I'd like to meet!
ReplyDeleteAnd, here I am, reading this extremely despondent poem! I am so sorry to know you are feeling so low and so let down by those you love. I think you are being exceedingly harsh on yourself, too!
I learnt that happiness is not something you find outside of yourself. It is a state of quiet contentment that you develop within. We cannot depend on others to make us happy. You need to set boundaries for yourself and to make time to explore the areas that bring you personal fulfilment (reading, writing, spending time outdoors, growing things, cooking, baking, fixing or making things, painting...whatever fuels your passion)...it's the simple pleasures in life that offer the most lasting sense of contentment :)
And, most importantly, surround yourself with positive, genuine people and things that you personally think are beautiful. Do you have a pet? The unconditional love you get from sharing your life with a dog is priceless. There are many rescued animals looking for someone to love :)